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And how it flies when you're having fun! LOL - it's been such a roller-coaster since my last entry which was, unbelievably, almost an entire month ago. I remember how I would skim through journals and think, 'Why do they even bother, if they're only gonna write once a month or so?' Ah yes, real life can and does intrude, doesn't it? Here's a slice of humble pie, while you contemplate that.



At any rate, I'm here to post what has been days, weeks, and now just over a month and a half in the making. On June 13th, I discovered an infidelity in my 11 year relationship that had been going on for a couple months - maybe up to 3 or 4. Who knows. At this point, the actual length of the the thing hardly matters.



What matters is that for a brief few days (though it felt like years at the time), my world collapsed in on itself. In seemingly just as swift a time period, it snapped back into place. I can attribute this to a number of things:



1) My own resiliency. I've been there/done that when it comes to shitty relationships so it's not like I was a newb.

2) Some of the greatest friends a guy could ever possibly ask for. Truly, they rallied around me like something out of a movie. And they're still here keeping watching.

3) You don't appreciate or understand the hell you're in until one of two things happens: a) it gets better all of a sudden or b) it suddenly gets a lot worse.



That last part might not make sense but let me explain. For the better part of the past 6 - 9 months, our lives have been hell. He HATED his job. Without going into the details, just consider the worst job you ever had. Now imagine that job and all the effort you might have put into it trying to make it work. Now imagine being told all that effort wasn't worth shit. Over and over and over.... Now whether this is you or not, imagine being the type of person who derives a great deal of his self-worth from being told he's doing a good job, professionally. You can see the end result already, can't you?



Now imagine your partner's role in this hell. He's struggling to make a go of being an independent consultant in one of the worst economies in decades. His entire network is in the city you left....over 4 years ago! He's trying to find something full-time but not having much luck.



I don't really need to go on, do I? All of this conspired to create an environment in which two people were miserable and as much as you might think they'd see things for what they were and be able to make the best of it and face the world together, it just didn't work out that way.



The end result is lots of therapy, for the one who buckled under the pressure, and lots of patience and efforts at understanding on the part of the person who, in the end, just had the greater fortitude and ability to stand his ground in the face of a hurricane.



We're hardly out of the woods on this thing but the therapy, which has been wildly enlightening AND the fact that we both have new jobs is helping to clear the air considerably.



One thing that I keep coming back to is this scene in Elizabeth: The Golden Age. The key point starts at about :15 and ends around :35.