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I originally thought I would be writing just about my recent experience at The Haven in Northampton, MA this past week. But, since that time, I've been feeling strange. Hahaha, I know my readers and VR members in general can and will appreciate what I mean. This entry is probably going to end up being a more general rumination. But before I get to that...



I've known about The Haven for some time now but it always seemed just out of reach. According to google maps, it's an hour and a half away (never mind my driving regularly makes a lie of gmaps). The time/distance aside, it's on a Tuesday night. Who the hell doesn't have school/work on Wednesday?!



Well a friend just recently got back from grad school and so I mentioned to a mutual friend that we should grab him and make the trek up to Haven. Our friend has been denied darkness this whole past semester so I knew he'd be game. I've been fiending for it myself given all the work travel I've had to do lately. And finally, I thought this would be a pretty 'easy' week given the proximity to Xmas. Not too surprisingly, everyone was in so we zipped up there in about an hour (see aforementioned comment regarding my driving).



It. Was. GREAT! We walked in and we all looked at each other like we'd walked into paradise or something. It was HUGE. The sound system was AMAZING. And the crowd was awesome as in you could just feel this terrific vibe in the room. But it was cool too in that it was a pretty diverse group with quite a few 'serious' dancers in the house. By serious, I mean those who really put some effort and thought into the music and how they're dancing to it. This is in contrast (no disrespect meant to those who do this) to the usual side-to-side shuffle some call dancing.



So all in all, a great place and we'll definitely be going back. The great thing is, it's 18+. Ordinarily, that would make me crazy but given that I have a baby vamp who is just turning 20, it's a great thing. We got home around 2AM and other than having to 'keep an eye on the shop,' I was correct in guessing that the week would be quiet.



This brings me now to the general rumination. I sent a text to my friend today. "Strange question: are you still thinking about Haven? You know - like a movie or book that just stays with you?" His response? "Well, it is a bit like Valhalla for darklings in New England." LOL - and by that he meant that this 'party/event' has been going strong for almost 15 years! Everyone sort of 'knows about it.' But actually going....



And so here I am, feeling like I want...like I NEED to get back as soon as possible. Ironically, we'll be going to Ulteria Jan. 1 so it's not like we won't get our fill. But the next opportunity to go to Haven, for a variety of reasons, won't be until February. Le sigh...I'm not sure why I'm feeling this profound pull. Was it just that this particular night was especially charged? Full lunar eclipse and longest night and all that? Or is it that it was about a year ago that I went to my first dark night event and here I am now fully and authentically living out this aspect of who I am?



I don't know. What I DO know is that I loved it. I love my new life and the friends I've made as a result. And so, I can truly celebrate that aspect of the season with good cheer. Now if I could just hunt down that fat man in a red suit and end his tyranny..... ;-)

I went out to Ulteria - my usual once a month dark EBM night - a few Saturdays ago and I'm just now getting a chance to relate a pretty hilarious story.



This seemed like it was going to be one of those straightforward nights until I decided to take a break from the dance floor for a bit. For whatever reason, it had become boiler room hot and as anyone who knows me, heat and Justin do not mix.



So I head over to the bar area to basically prop the wall up while I cool off. I'm standing there people watching (loads of fun given the clientale!), minding my own business. Out of NOWHERE, this rather broke down tranny sidles up next to me. Now before anyone gets in a huff, I say 'broke down tranny' because some people put the effort in. This individual most definitely had not.



Tottering on a pair of heels, skin tight plether pants, a leather jacket, and a wig all askew, with a pair of sunglasses balanced on 'her' nose, 'he' (because the voice was anything but feminine!) announces in a heavy New Jersey accent "Oh my gawd, this place is great!"



I typically put off a very chill vibe to send random people like this packing. I'm pretty misanthropic when you get right down to it and don't usually have much patience for anyone who approach me like this. But for whatever reason, this one night and in this one instance, I make a snap decision. I thought, 'What the hell? Let's see where this goes.' Oh how little I knew.



I politely say, "Yes, well it is a pretty cool event."



And then THIS followed:



"Yeah, well it's great. I mean, I stand out most places since I like to dress in women's clothes....I mean, you could tell I'm not a woman I'm sure." [Um, understatement.] "So what is this party anyway?"



"Well, it's a monthly event that takes place here and it's pretty much for anyone into this type of music"



"No kidding? Well I didn't even know it existed. See, I was out with my girlfriend - we're both prostitutes - and so we figured we'd go look for someone to pick us up, which, you know what that means," looks at me over sunglasses, "the hood." [I nod as though this is an obvious fact.]



"So yeah, this Cadillac comes down the street and I thought the guy was gonna want me but instead he takes my girlfriend" [I can't imagine why?] "but it was a really fast trick. They were back in like 2 minutes!" [I feign surprise that such a romantic rendez-vous could be over so quickly] "Well my girlfriend's thirsty" [I shudder to think why] "and so she goes in a little store and gets some soda. She comes back out and her boyfriend is there." [Seriously? Seriously?!]



"So she offers him some of her soda and he starts yelling at her, 'I don't want to drink after you after you just sucked some guy's dick!' I mean, he doesn't approve of her hooking so he just goes off on her and I didn't want to stand there and listen to them fight all night so when I take off and that's how I ended up coming up here!"



At this point, I'm not sure WHAT my new friend was thinking regarding the look on my face but I suspect it was a cross of "WTF?" and "How much longer is this going to go on?" Either way, s/he announces, "Well, I'm gonna go see if I can get someone to pick me up. It was very nice to meet you!" and off s/he totters.



So it's at this point that I'm just about to fall on the floor laughing but before I can, Matt, the boyfriend of the promoter for Ulteria comes rolling up. Quick side note regarding Matt - think Morpheus from The Matrix. Now imagine Morpheus stoned. Got that image? Good.



"Hey, man, what's up?"



I'm laughing and I give him the run-down of the experience I've just had. As soon as I get to the "I'm gonna find someone to pick me up" he yells "HE said WHAT?! Where'd he go?" I'm still laughing so I just say "I have no idea - somewhere in that direction" and point to the dance floor. Matt says, "I'm gonna take care of this," and then HE turns and disappears onto the dance floor.



So there I am, by myself again. I thought of all the friends I have who tell me the most ridiculous stories that always make me wonder how on earth such nonsense happens to them. I guess I know now. You just stand still long enough and human detritus will eventually come blowing down the road.

There are a few people on this site that I consistently wonder, 'Is your sole purpose for being here to be the fly in the ointment?' I mean seriously, I've NEVER seen them comment on a thread without it being contrarian. It just begs the question - if you don't 'believe' anything, then why are you here?

That headline seems appropriate for the current state of affairs in my life. So much to do, so little time. So much travel to do, so little desire to do any of it. So much work, so little (perceived) pay off. So much writing I'd like to do, so little free-time. And so on.



This is, unfortunately, a typical December for me. The month is typically packed just because of the holidays. For whatever reason, I invariably end up more misanthropic than usual by the time January 1 rolls around.



I could write, ad nauseum about the reasons the holidays grind me down but we all already know what they are. Everyone seems to complain about the same things and yet we all seem completely powerless to get off (or never board in the first place!) this runaway train called Christmas. I suppose though it's doubly irritating for this crowd given that our 'high holiday' is Halloween (329 days to go as of today!) and everything else seems anti-climactic after that.



So where does that leave me? Basically hunkering down to get through the month and into January when I can enjoy winter without any fat man telling me I have to spend money to 'get in the spirit of the season.' A nice walk through snow covered woods would suffice, thank you very much!