The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Truman
14:37 Apr 21 2014
Times Read: 562








This is yours truly at 3 years old with my pet bat Truman.



I took it upon myself to teach Truman everything he needed to know. For weeks I taught him how to eat bugs and after just a few days he took right to it!



His legs seemed deformed so I made little ankle bracelets with hooks so Truman could slumber hanging up side down and that was his favorite time to practice his radar squeaking…I was very proud of him.



The most daunting challenge was teaching Truman to fly. I would take him out at night and toss him high in the air while dancing and screaming…”FLY TRUMAN…FLYYYYYYYYYYY!”…”FLYYYYYYYY TRUMAN FLY!!!!”…~TOSS~…”FLY TRUMAN…FLYYYYYYYYYYY!”…”FLYYYYYYYY TRUMAN FLY!!!!”…~. Truman would squeak his radar call searching for bugs as he flailed his very narrow wings…Truman tried so very hard.



Sadly are time together was short.

Love Means Never Having To Watch The Movie In The First Place
13:48 Apr 11 2014
Times Read: 584

O…M…G…if someone asked me…”Mr. Tu, what do you think, was the single, most destructive thing you’ve ever seen, to relationships?”…hands down I answer…”Love Story”!! O…M…G…do you remember it?! Huh?! Do you? What a bunch of horseshit!



I can still remember seeing it with my then girlfriend…her, along with every other female in the place, crying their fucking eyes out, while I sat there thinking…*What ass licking moron wrote this?!*…O…M…G! I’ll tell you right now, that movie sent a chill straight up my spine…”Love Story” was 10X more scary than “The Exorcist”…10X!!!



I won’t even go into the plot…hippy dippy and jockey hockey fall in love cancer one dies tears, tears tears…that was pretty much the movie. What was scary…horrific…was a delusional romantic fantasy notion being presented as some form of truth…and it was the big hook line of the film…”Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”…WHAT?! WHAAAAAAATT!!?!



I remember the females just went apey over this…”Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”…all one had to do was say it and they’d start weeping.



Love means never having to say you’re sorry? I cannot think of a single relationship, I’ve ever been in, where I did not say…”I’m sorry…“…at least a hundred thousand times, whether I owed such a thing or not…men just learn when to say it…it’s a sexual preservation thing…”I’m sorry.”…”I said I’m sorry!”…”I’M SORRY!”…then you’d test the water by touching their breast.



”Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”…what this actually meant was that one could cheat beat and just in general treat their significant other like trash and never have to say they’re sorry…because…”Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”…this was the idea…if it’s truly “Love”…you never have to say you’re sorry.



I believe this…”Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”…this delusional fantasy ridiculous idiotic stooopid saying/ideal, just may have been the great, great grand daughter of…”We Have To Pass The Bill To Find Out What’s In It!”.

Deerboys
12:45 Apr 06 2014
Times Read: 594

Christopher Columbus brought cows to the new world on his second voyage…no…cows, or bovines if you prefer, are not indigenous to the Americas, they originated in Europe and India…I know…it blows my mind too!



I mean…what would have happened had Columbus not brought cows, or bovines if you prefer, to America?! After all, the New World did have its very own hoofed creatures, those being deer and buffalo, or bison if you prefer, and I am sure those are just as tasty as a cow! In fact, it was pirates that first started eating cows, such was their favorite food and they smoked the meat, which in French is "boucan" and is where the name “Buccaneers” came from!



Think…*points to head*…about that…if Columbus had never brought cows, or bovines if you prefer, to America on his second voyage, there never would have been “Buccaneers” and even more mind blowing…American culture would have had “Deerboys” instead of “Cowboys”!!



Now…can you imagine John Wayne being a “Deerboy”?!! “Deerboys And Indians”?! “Deer Drives”?! And think about what rodeos would look like! Could one ride a Stag?! Do they buck (no pun intended)?! I suppose those racks would make it interesting and speaking of racks, “Deergirls”?! That doesn’t sound as bad, but “Deerboys”…*shakes head*…I cannot imagine a little boy wanting to grow up and be a “Deerboy”.



I dismiss out of hand the idea of “Buffaloboys” and “Buffalogirls”…wait…I’m pretty sure there were “Buffalogirls” and they came out at night…but…no “Buffaloboys”. One couldn’t possibly use buffaloes, or bison if you prefer, in a rodeo. This is a slanted back issue, not suitable for riding and I doubt a buffalo can buck, or if they can, I doubt it could be very high, I’m almost certain they have very tiny back legs.



So…shear logic demands that it would have had to be “Deerboys” or nothing at all.