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Oho, so we`re down to threats now are we? Lol, in a twisted kind of way this makes me feel better somehow. First of all, it shows that there are people who seem to have more boring lives than me, as they have to resort to such means of amusememnt as threatening strangers. Secondly... well, no one has ever threatened me (at least not so explicitly) before - after being worried and angry as hell for a couple of days I realized that... well... the situation kind of excited me! This guy has pics of me, he knows who I am and where I work - and I know nothing about him. He could be anyone! Lol, kind of thrilling really!



Ok, yes I`m bored with my life right now. And it shows. I`d do anything to amuse myself. Even taking notice of suppressed idiots like this one.



Go figure.

Some people are really pathetic. And I am getting tired of suffering because of their bloody bullshit! My yahoo group got hacked by a guy who keeps sending me private messages saying stupid things and stuff. He hacked my email and everybody else`s in the group and this morning he almost drove me mad when he said he had hacked my home pc as well!



I checked it when I came back home from work and he was bluffing. The bastard! He had me in a real lather.



Anyway, I am not going to use that email account any more (not going to delete it though - I`m curious to see what he`ll say next... poor jerk) and created a new yahoo group. Now I`ll re-inform all the old members about the change and hey presto - asshole deleted!



The stupid idiot probably doesn`t have any kind of life... man it sure sucks to be him!

Seems some people have nothing better to do than envy others and make stupid snapping noises.



Anyway - to put you in the picture:



Last Saturday I was at my usual club and I saw a couple of cameras filming the mosh pit and people, so I realized that they were filming for that programme which was interested in interviewing me (yes, I declined). In fact, yesterday evening they aired the programme portraying Maltese Nightlife and also mentioning Metalheads and Goths. Well guess what? Even though I didn`t give an interview, I still got on TV! They caught me dancing... in close up... in slow motion! Unfortunately, they seem to have fallen in love with the same couple of seconds cause they kept showing them repeatedly... again and again... imagine seeing me 5/6 times in half an hour! Always making the same couple of moves! Terrible!



Now, on to explain why I`m pissed. I`m the creator/moderator of a Yahoo Group called Gothic Malta, and some time ago I had to ban an obnoxious prick who caused me quite a lot of trouble and threatened a member of the group. This morning, the guy sent me a message full of personal abuse and from his email I realized that he had logged in under another name and had been receiving and listening in to all our chat all this time! Anyway, now I`ve banned all those members I do not personally know and blocked the asshole.



Some people just do not deserve to be alive.



Jealous posers.

I wrote quite a long entry about yesterday, then when I submitted it, the system told me I was not logged in, so I lost all of it!



I don`t have the time or the inclination to write it again.



Suffice it to say - the morning was lousy, the afternoon was terrible and the evening was amusing.



Seems I`ll be seeing myself on TV after all too... the crew who are producing that programme dedicated to the Maltese Gothic scene were filming at the club where yours truly was dancing... and guess who got on camera? Lol :-)

I just got contacted by a journalist. Seems she wants to interview me on a programme for teens which covers different trends. Next week they`ll deal with the Gothic Subculture here in Malta. Apart from the fact that I don`t understand why she picked me to interview, she has given me VERY short notice as the programme will be aired on Tuesday and she wants to interview me this weekend!



I haven`t exactly replied in the negative, but I have asked her to give me the questions I`ll be asked beforehand. Also, I haven`t said that I`ll do it or given her any personal info. She can only contact me through the net.



I honestly don`t think I`ll do it, but it was nice to be asked :)

It`s funny how sometimes one stupid little thing going wrong opens the door for an avalanche of reflections about how unbearable and worthless one`s life is. That`s what happens to me anyway. It`s like there`s an invisible castle of playing cards, balancing on itself. Slowly the problems accumulate and the cards build up, up, until finally a gust of wind blows them all down in a heap.



Once that happens, all one can do is moan over the mess, pick up the cards one by one... and start rebuilding the damn castle again.

Goddamit I don`t know what the hell is wrong with my profile! I am trying to upload new pics but no matter what I do, the picture of me in my Masque keeps cropping up instead. Again and again... WTF?



Yes I`m really angry about it. I am getting fed up of VR. What`s the point anyway? Yes I signed on here for a reason. Now the reason has gone, evaporated, vanished. True I made many new friends on here, but I don`t have much time to get online nowadays... and it`s not that my life is this great parcel of fun, it`s just that I`m very busy doing unimportant things that need doing. Wasting my life away in other words.



Anyway, my PM is almost up, and I don`t know whether to re-buy it or not. What`s the bloody point? Who cares?

The worst kind of sadness is the one you feel when you are surrounded by people. Looking around you, you realize it`s hopeless. Mindless zombies cavorting to a pre-timed beat, the rythm drags them all down... and yet, aware of it or not, everyone is locked into his own personal cage - hidden from everyone else. The masses curse and shift, gyrating bodies move and mix as the music swirls... and I? I let the current take me. Smirking and staring like everyone else. Swamped by the ageless world of making believe everything is as it should be.



Deep down though, I`m always conscious of it. The void. Dark and senseless. A mad voracious mouth full of jagged teeth. A low-pitched voice growling sultrily in the darkness of my mind. I close my ears against the battering torn shriek coming from my heart and go on. Tryng to drown out my sorrow with an invisible masque. As always.