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I`m so bloody frustrated and torn apart right now I really don`t know what to do. DAMNIT! I just can`t write about it, it`s just too bloody confusing for this world. How on earth do I get myself in these situations? Oh it`s nothing in fact, not in real life... but in my mind... that`s something else...



Lol... I`m not making any sense. Better shut up and continue to churn the inescapable turmoil in the confines of my skull.



The point is, I never knew how much I was afraid of falling in love until now. Goddess, why am I so fucken` complicated?

I`ve put some pictures in my portfolio. It`s weird, but even though I`m a PM I can`t seem to be able to put up a background, and some music and stuff. Maybe the conversion to the new server is not totally complete yet. I will try again later on. For now, at least the Portfolio is not TOTALLY empty.

Thoughtfulness is much to be appreciated, and goes far in the way of courtship, however asking someone to commit herself after less then a week of knowing her is far too much. Knowing you have a lot of problems and shit happening in your life, I don`t want to hurt you more, but you make it so difficult. And I wonder. I wonder if you are only in search of 'something stable' in your life and if therefore you think that`s me. If that is the case, ANYONE would do really.



Ah, but your embraces are so sweet...

Night and Day. Darkness and light. Passion and romance. How can I feel this way for both of them at once? What am I to do? How can I choose between one or the other. Dammit.



Perhaps there isn`t that much to choose. A boyfriend or a lover. A blissful courtship or a stormy relationship. A molten overture or a sweet innuendo....



*sigh*

So, everyone and his best friend knows I`m bonkers about Ville Valo, however that doesn`t bar me from appreciating a real good laugh at his expense! So all of you people reading this very boring and nattering journal just go to this link and prepare to wet your pants with laughter!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR__oy9U1nI

Wow the Resolutions theory seems to be bloody working! Yesterday was... let us say interesting :) Had a terrible hangover and spent most of today in bed, but it was worth it! Woohoo *grins*

After my long self imposed exile (ok not totally self imposed since I was sick too), I have realized as well as decided some new things. Now, having recharged my batteries, I am much more resolute. I have decided to re-try the exam in Brussels. Much better to be sorry for having done something than for not having tried.



I will adopt the same philosophy in other aspects of my life too. I`ve lain dormant for long enough, now I`m fed up. If an opportunity comes along I will just take it, and damn the consequences! So there!