The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

A new member
06:23 Aug 30 2005
Times Read: 666

I told my bestfriend about this site and she's very curious about it and the ppl here. lol, I hope I don't regret introducing her to this. I don't know how serious she takes this life style, but she was begging me to tell her about it. Well, I guess now she'll learn for herself from me and others.

Worst Day Ever!!
03:07 Aug 26 2005
Times Read: 694

My baby is in jail tonight….Grrrr! All cause of some dumb ass shit with a dumb asshole (her baby’s father). I knew some shit was going to happen today I felt it, damn why didn’t I listen to my instincts!! She was at his house and wanted us to come get her, since someone who was in there stole her money off the entertainment center, (more bad luck). She called my cousin to come and of course my cousin figured she should get me first. I told my wife I don’t think it’s a good idea since last time he saw me outside he wanted to stand there in our faces with a attitude and I didn’t appreciate that shit nor did my people. I told her to just let my cousin and her g/f come get her and bring her here but it didn’t happen like that. My cousin called saying she was on her way with her g/f to get me then to get Natalia. To make a long story short. We get there and was waiting for her to come outside, finally she does but with the kids. I’m like errr, I thought he was keeping the kids and we was leaving right away. All of a sudden he start yelling at her saying he’s not watching the kids and she’s not taking them either cause he doesn’t want them around me. I’m like whoa! WTF! So she’s like, “if you refusing to keep them and you don’t want them to go with me and her wtf are you saying, you’re not making sense“. Which of course he really wasn’t, that’s a dumb ass thing to say. Me and him start fussing, then they start fussing. He’s jumping in my face, hers, and even my cousin’s g/f face, who he doesn’t even know! Of course we are all standing there in case he hits her cause if he did he was getting his ass jumped. He’s busy getting in our faces trying to make one of us hit him first, how dumb does he think we are? So we can go to jail for assaulting him first, don’t think so. I wanted him to hit me so bad, just so I could fuck him up in self defense. He finally take the kids and we get in the car, his bitch punk ass waits till we all get in the car to come and open the door grabbing and trying to slap her. Oh but I must say my baby handled his ass, she was punching him like she was a dude. He didn’t even get a good hit. We call the cops and due to some new stupid domestic violence law they have to arrest them both but she doesn’t get charges like he does for self defense reasons I guess or maybe cause they knew it was him who started shit with all of us. I miss my baby tonight hopefully she’ll be out soon. They said 6 hours could be more.



Continued...Aug. 26

Well it's 3pm the next day almost 24 hours later, she's finnally home. I didn't sleep one min this whole time and kept 2 phones near me in case the cordless died. I'm just happy she's ok and out of that hell hole.

Fun Night & Demon Cat!
11:02 Aug 23 2005
Times Read: 699

Me & my baby spent a lovely 2 days together away from chaos...or so we thought lol. We had mad fun up until we reached our friends house. We decided to stay the night there cause she has a guest room & we jumped at the opportunity to be alone in peace (Ya know away from my evil mom). Everything was great till we decided to go "do the do" in the bedroom. We go & lay on the bed & start making out, we hear a loud growl and hiss lol. We both sit up afraid like, "wtf was that!!!" then we hear "grrrrrrrr". Look down it's a fucking cat in the room, ready to eat us alive. I try to calm the thing & pet it (bad move) the fucker tries to claw me to death. I'm screaming my ass off at this point. We spent hours trying to get the cat out the room. The lil demon had the scariest eyes I ever seen on a cat. That thing was fucking possessed. I love cats but I wouldn't go near that demon seed. I found a stuff animal in the room & threw it out the door, the cat went to see what the ruckus was & I quickly shut the door behind the lil shit lol. Then the night was perfect again...(great passionate loving all night & morning).

lol Why can't I shake my big booty!
05:44 Aug 20 2005
Times Read: 705

My wife wants to go back to exotic dancing this weekend. I don’t have a problem with it, she thought I would. Lol I don’t care as long as I don’t have to see guys drooling on her. I told her I should start dancing too, at a big girl club lol (yes I was joking when I said it). I said I’ll dance for a week to pay for the security deposit and first and last month rent so we can move out faster lol. Then I’ll dance for another week to buy the living room furniture. I’ll be shaking my ass in a guy’s face saying “don’t touch” then look over at some hot chick and be like “oh! But you can touch” while dancing to the “Good Times” theme lol lol lol. My wife is like “fuck no you won’t” I was dancing before I met you that’s different. She says she’ll show up at the club with jeans and tennis on to pull me out the club and kick my ass lol. What ever!

I don't know what to do....
01:14 Aug 20 2005
Times Read: 711

Again my mom is pissing us off. Her and my wife was fussing so much last night. I couldn’t take it so I got on the computer and zoned out everything. Wtf is her problem! My wife says she need some dick in her life or she has a problem with us being gay but don‘t wanna say it. Well I kinda agree but wouldn’t use those exact words lol. I think she’s jealous because she doesn’t have anyone and she sees me and my sister with our relationships happy. Yesterday morning my mom says she can’t keep a man cause they don’t want to be around us and she’s afraid to bring them home cause of how we might act (her children). Wtf! She was talking to some guy for a month or so and NEVER saw him. I heard my sister asking her “why don’t you spend time with him?” Then saying “If you keep being afraid to see him he won’t stick around, guys need attention“. My mom haven’t been with a guy in so many, many years. I can understand her being afraid to try again but don’t try to put the blame on any body else but yourself. If she was to bring a guy here I wouldn’t even go in the same room with them. Why the fuck would I? I’m not a fucking little kid that wants attention! Shit I’ll be happy for her and hope it last so she’ll leave me and my wife alone. She was a lot happier when she was at least talking on the phone with that dude. I hope she finds another one and actually goes to see him. My mom is so evil to me when she sees me happy and in love. It’s like the happier she sees me the worst she acts towards me. It pisses me off I feel like she wants me to go back to feeling depress, and being sad and mean, plus sleeping all day not caring about myself or anyone else. Well I hope she’s happy cause all the bitching and fighting she’s putting me trough she’s getting her wish I’m starting to feel fucking depress again. Thanx for the love and support you bitch.

Numb/Linkin Park (currently playing)....exactly how I feel...
07:45 Aug 17 2005
Times Read: 714






I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Feeling so faithless

Lost under the surface

I don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure

Of walking in your shoes



(Caught in the undertow / Just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

(Caught in the undertow / Just caught in the undertow)



Chorus:

I've

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

Become so tired

So much more aware

I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you



Can't you see that you're smothering me

Holding too tightly

Afraid to lose control

'Cause everything that you thought I would be

Has fallen apart right in front of you



(Caught in the undertow / Just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

(Caught in the undertow / Just caught in the undertow)

And every second I waste is more than I can take

Chorus



But I know

I may end up failing too

But I know

You were just like me

With someone disappointed in you



Chorus



Repeat 2X:

I've become so numb

I can't feel you there

Is everything what you want me to be

I hate grown rude ass kids!!
04:13 Aug 15 2005
Times Read: 719

My nephew has a few cousins over for his B-day and 1 of them is a little fucker. I'm telling this little asshole that his mom called and gave me a message about picking him up. This bastard starts getting smart with me! Like I'm a child, oh! I must mention this isn't the first time he's been here and I had a problem with his mouth. This lil shit called me a bitch a few months ago. I almost cracked his damn head but everyone told me not to touch him and let his mom deal with him. Of course his mom can't control him or he wouldn't act that way period. His mom wanted him to stay here till the morning. Fuck that! I called her back so she could come get his ass NOW! The lil fucker just left, goodbye! Don’t come back to this house.

*cough*
17:44 Aug 14 2005
Times Read: 722

Ugh! I've been hacking up my lungs for a couple of days now. I feel like shit. At least I got my baby to take care of me. Aaaaahhhh! My thoat hurt! *cough* Fuck! Where's my meds!!!.......ugh....*cough*....ah....*dies*

Woot! I'm on a roll!
06:44 Aug 12 2005
Times Read: 730

Yayyy! I figured out how to get my pics in the portfolio! I'm gonna go add as many as i can find in this computer. I hope I get a new web cam soon. *sigh*

Going back into darkness...
04:53 Aug 12 2005
Times Read: 732

I've been so happy the pass few months besides when my mom is fucking with me. Now, I'm beginning to feel depressed again *sigh* God knows I don't want to sink back down into that shit again. I think it's all the things that I'm worried about lately, mostly money issues, damn it is the root of evil I see that now. I just want to be stable for me and my wife. I haven’t been talking to ppl much lately or joking and playing around like I usually do. My wife notice it and questioned me *sigh* It upset her that I feel down and she thinks she's not doing enough to keep me happy cause I should be happy when I'm with her. I am very happy with her she's wonderful, I tell her this everyday. Ugh! I got to snap out of this feeling! I don't like being this way. I just married the best woman ever I should be doing flips not worrying myself to death. I don't need her thinking it has anything to do with her or that I regret things cause that's NOT it at all. She's the only thing in my life that gives me happiness and joy without her I would have nothing to live for. Maybe I should just suck up my pride and go talk about things with someone. I spent years feeling depressed and holding it inside I guess I can’t escape the feeling no matter what I try.

Ohhh I know how now!
04:24 Aug 12 2005
Times Read: 735

I finnally know how to add music to my web pages lol. I'm so late! The fucked up part is....I've been working on computers since I was 15 and I still dont know crap lol but I can type up a paper fast and work the hell outta Word Perfect yayyyyyy!

A Blessing!
06:07 Aug 09 2005
Times Read: 747

I just spent two whole days with my baby and no body got on our nerves lol. It was amazing. We had so much fun and so much loving.



Oh did I mention...I'm married now! We shared vows and cried like babies. Tears of joy of course. I just wish we had a place of our own first but we just couldnt wait any longer.



Hopfully we will be moving soon cause I damn sure wanna get the hell outta here!! I'm not buying crap I dont need all money goes in the bank lol.



It's funny cause my sister did the same thing. She got married to her husband (ex-husband now) before they had a place together also. They ended up staying with my mom for awhile and saving up too lol.

Damn the portfolio crap!!
08:42 Aug 06 2005
Times Read: 751

I just spent hours trying to get some pics on here!! I resized and changed shit....still nothing!! Ugh!! I dont understand it let me put one pic on and that pic was the same size and file as the others WTF!!! well since I cant get the pics of my wife and family on I deleted the one I did get on there.



Instead I just put a link to my web page. So if anyone wants to see the pics click on the link above my profile.

Better day...I hope.
21:23 Aug 02 2005
Times Read: 759

ugh! Yesterday was the worst day ever. I frought with my mom all day, she just kept fucking with me and my g/f all day for nothing. I went through so much stress I got my period cause of it!! That fucking sux now I gotta deal with PMS lol. I'm gonna be cussing ppl out just for looking at me to long....eh, I do that anyway.



I woke up this morning my blood pressure and sugar was sky high. I thought I was going to pass out and die. My g/f was crying and praying, asking me to go to the ER. That fucking suck she had to see me sick like that.



I really can't wait til we save up enough money to move. I have to get the hell out of here!! My mom treats me like a fucking step child....like a child period. I'm 23! Fuck her. I'm just happy it's 4pm and I feel a little better now. Maybe the rest of the day will go better.

Ooops!
10:24 Aug 02 2005
Times Read: 761

I'm sure everyone figured it out by now I'm really in love and won't cheat on my baby.....but, I got like 2 girls numbers a few weeks ago, just to be friends with HONESTLY. I don't have many female friends that's into what I'm into so I figured it would be cool to meet new ppl.



well, I wrote the girls number on a piece of paper and had it on my dresser. I never told my g/f about them cause I didn't call them...not once. I changed my mind cause I didn’t want my g/f to worry bout me talking to these girls thinking its something more than just being cool. So, I just sat the paper behind some crap on my dresser and forgot all about it.



*sigh* Well my g/f was putting on makeup and looking in the mirror, moved some stuff around and saw the damn paper!! I almost had a panic attack, I never felt so much fear, but to my surprise she just looked at it and put it back down. She told me, "I trust you and know you don't want to fuck up a good thing" I still felt the need to explain why I even had the numbers but she told me to shhhhh and said there's no need to get into that cause she already know it wasn’t to fuck around or anything dumb. wow! I'm amazed, I thought for sure she was going to rip me apart lol. That made me fall in love even more.

Are you afraid of the dark?
10:00 Aug 02 2005
Times Read: 762

ahhhhh!! The damn gas and electric company is doing some work fucking 4am.....4am!!! Right outside my window. The bastards just cut the power to the block. It's summer time and now I have no air, jesus it got real hot in here fast!



I'm glad my laptop is charged up or I would have nothing do to but scream. Damnit, why must I be a night owl. I'm the only one up that's suffering from this heat and no lights. God!!! I hope they hurry and fix what ever they're doing.



I hate being in the pitch black...I see dead people!

Finnally some happiness.
08:01 Aug 02 2005
Times Read: 765

I was so upset and mad with my mom today. I really needed my g/f, I called her house and no answer damn that made me feel worst.



As soon as I hung up and sat down at the computer my doorbell rung....guess who?? My baby!!! yayy! I couldn't belive it. I swear she is my angel. My day was so perfect after she arrived.

What a crappy day....
21:49 Aug 01 2005
Times Read: 768

I was enjoying my day listening to music....until the phone ring and it's my mom yelling at me, wtf!! She says she got paid and check her account and all her money wasn't in it. "ok, wtf are you yelling this at me for?" ugh!!! She asks me did I use her bank account or her fucking card!! WHAT!!!! She's missing over a hundred dollars or something. Why the hell would she think I would do that shit! God she makes me sick sometimes. The most I ever took from my mom and TOLD her, was $2 fucking dollars.....$2!!!!!!! She's fucking dumb for asking me that shit.

What is it about our poems?? lol
08:38 Aug 01 2005
Times Read: 775

lol, so many ppl have sent me messages asking me, "is everything ok with you??" or "are you and your g/f going through something bad?"



The answer.....NO!! We are fine. I'm glad there are still ppl that care about other ppl. I thank you for your concern, from my heart BUT I'm getting tired of explaining our creative writing lol.



We are just dark writers. We like to be different and creative, and use our imagination to the fullest.



To answer more questions I've been asked about the poems.



No, my wife doesn’t hate her family at all. That poem was complete fiction. She has more than one brother and loves all her brothers and sisters.



No, I'm not in a abusive relationship. "you fucked up" is simply based on things I see through other ppl eyes...not mine. That goes for everything we write it's all based on everyday fucked up situations that make ppl feel a certain way. I try to picture myself in other ppl shoes and write how I would feel or react if it was me.



BUT..I will say "the darkness" is how I felt about my past relationships BEFORE I met my wonderful g/f I couldn't be any happier now.

Too much.
08:14 Aug 01 2005
Times Read: 777

Hmmm, I wrote about my g/f a lot last month. I can't help it, she's wonderful, and so much like me.....mmmm I don't know if that's a good thing or not hahaha. Well, it works for us...ugh I'm talking about her again.



Ok this month I won't mention her.......NOT!



This month is the month we say our vows to each other. Spending my life with her has been my dream for so long, I still can't belive she asked me 1st, when it was on my mind to ask her. damn! She beat me to it! That's love.