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To all my CCG's and my friends and my fellow VR's and SK's.....
I am so sorry that I have not been on but alot has been going on. Besides the fact that a few people know that happened to me about a month ago, my Aunt was hospitalized with pneumonia at age 83 and wasn't sure if she was going to make it, but thankfully she did and is at home now, my cousin was told he had less than a year to live due to cancer that has spread through his body and if he does chemo it will just make it worse and now he's passing blood and that's not good at all, then my Uncle went into the ER and found out he had blood poisoning. Well if that's not bad enough, my dad was rushed to the ER thinking he was having a heart attack. I have been at the Hospital all week long with some family member or the other until my Dad and now I have been by my Dad's side. I am so glad that I have a sister to help me through this, although I have been helping her as well. Me and Melissa...meanmelissa...have had a hard time this past few weeks. Again I am sorry I have not been in contact, and I know Melissa is too. But don't forget I love you all.
Has anyone ever thought about starting over? I mean with a clean slate? Trying to forget the past and moving on? It's harder than people think it is. Honestly, I don't think it can be done. Not entirely.
With that being said, I am so tired of hurting and being depressed, I have decided to once again bring my smile to the surface and to enjoy my life. I am going to be me. No matter what or who will or will not accept it.
I am finding myself once again....I think. And with that being said.....
This is just a quick udate....A simple one....Will give more details later......
This weekend has been so much fun. i can honestly use the line, "I'M WITH THE BAND".
NUSENSE is the greatest. They played at Ziggy's this weekend. they were the headliners. I had so much fun. It's been forever since I have been out to a heavy metal gig like this. My neck was and still is a little sore from head banging for about 4 hours straight.
But it was worth it. I am now their photographer, record their videos, and am currently building a new website for them. Melissa, my sister, a.k.a. meanmelissa here on VR is the manager of the band. i also assist her so I guess you could call me assistant manager.
Give more details and pics later. Make sure you check out the pics of me and Mel on our way out to Ziggy's. i have just added them to my journal.
I know that I have made alot of journal comments on others journals and alot of entries in my journal. And I know that most of you are like just get over it or move on. Some may think I want a pity trip, but that is not the case. I write what I feel when I feel it and how I feel it. It doesn't really matter if you agree or disagree. We each have our own opinions and our own ways of dealing with things. In my case, I write about it, cry about it, and try to hide it at times. But it gets hard sometimes. I just have to let it out. If you don't want to hear about it or read about it then don't. My feelings aren't going to be hurt, my feelings are so numb that it doesn't matter anymore. I was so happy and now well you guessed it. It has been torn out from underneath me without any warning. One day I was floating on cloud 9 and the next i feel like I am digging from hell or from the pits of the earth. All I ever want to do is cry and yell and after all of this and what has happened, even though I try to get mad, i just can't. I don't understand it at all. And it's wierd the way it all happened. But such is life I guess.
Your human, you have feelings, this is your jounal, and if you want to vent in here, then you will vent, your so right anyone who doesnt want to hear it can stop reading it. You know I love you girl, and i'm always here.
**HUGS**
Have you EVER?????
06:20 May 16 2008 Times Read: 854
Have you ever went to someone's house and stayed the night and lose something that you really needed to find where it went? You tear the place apart looking for it, but can't find it. but when you get home you reach in your bag and low and behold it's there, and that is REALLY the last place you wanted it to be? And then you wonder how it got there? It's not like you wanted to keep it as a keepsake....LOL
That is our little secret....well mine and yours and a couple of others....lol
I think green may be my new fav color....lol
Days are so long now
18:15 May 15 2008 Times Read: 873
You know I have noticed that the days are so long and that the nights are even longer once they get here. I used to not have this problem a few days ago. It seemed like there wasn't enough time in the day and that the nights went by so quick due to my wonderful dreams. And now all I have are nightmares. I'm scared to close my eyes and I don't want to be awake either. I wish that I could find a middle ground. Everyone says it's gets easier and the pain disappears, but the hell it does. It's only getting worse. I don't know how to stop it or what to do about it. I don't know why life has to be so messed up. Why things can't be simple for once in my life. Why things have to hurt so badly.
We all go through these times in our lives and you were there for me when I went through mine so I am here for you through yours.
Forums
07:12 May 15 2008 Times Read: 886
Is it not true that a person has the right to ask questions? Questions that may be or may not be for themselves or others? I thought that was what the forums were for. Information gathering for those of us who are new, confused, or are just curious.
I just don't understand how a simple question can turn into a huge debate. I have seen this alot recently. One person post in the main forum, and then, someone else that does not like said person, for whatever reason decides to make a circus out of the forum.
Just because a question is asked, does not mean that the person thinks that something is or is not better than the other opinions or facts, but indeed wants to see different views.
If the person that starts the forum thread chooses not to share the information that they hold, I believe that is the right of that person. No one has held a gun or twisted any arms for others to give their opinions or statements. If a person chooses not to answer a question due to the fact that the person starting the thread chose not to disclose their information, then they can move on to the next topic. It is that simple. I see no complexity there.
this is why i DO NOT post in the main forums.... i have asked questions before ...started a thread and some of the upper people have said"wrong place" or "this has been asked before" ohhhh and then the stupid stuff starts up so screw it.... but i get what your saying...lol
If the person found information on-line they have to give
links otherwise it'd be plagiarism.
Also the main reason of the Forum is to discuss not just share information, if it is just to share information they can do it in their Journal, and if people disagree they can do so, that's the reason why people should debate.
As If It Couldn't Get Worse...
22:57 May 13 2008 Times Read: 923
Well, just when I think things are as bad as they can get, it gets worse. I don't know what the hell I am doing so wrong in my life, but it must be something. I can't deal with the BS and I have to try and put my heart together again. All I do is cry and I have to put myself back as a person now.
Things just seem to get worse. I am going to stay the night with my sister to get away and possibly to tie another drunk on. So I will check in as I can.
You want to get in touch with me, those who have my number can call or text. I love you all.
Hurting your liver as Dima says is only a short term way of forgetting your problems...lol
RIP NiteCreature
19:13 May 12 2008 Times Read: 967
For those of you that new Vernon, A.K.A NiteCreature, I deepley regret to inform you that, on May 9th,2008, while on a routine patrol, he was killed in action in Baghdad. His HumVee struck an I.E.D. He was recalled to active duty in the Navy S.E.A.Ls.
His profile will remain active for 30 days and then deleted. Please send any comments to his profile.
He will be buried in Arlington National Cemetary in 2 weeks. Thank you for your time."
Ok, so Kontradiction, SalemsxAngel and I were on 3 way tonight talking, and when she heard my country accent, she said I made her want to go muddin'.
Yes, I am a country gal that lives in the city, and yes I have a major accent. But I cover it up alot over the phone. Most people that talk to me, that have not talked to me in person, do not know how bad it really is.
Actually, I have been told I have a phone voice, a meet the parents voice, a 1-900 voice, and then my voice. I guess I have alot of voices and didn't even realize. Oh well.
Beltane is a Celtic festival which signals the beginning of the bright half of the year. Beltane may be translated as "fires of Bel" or "brilliant fire" and is name after the god Belenus.
The festival begins on Beltane Eve with two bonfires started from nine different woods. Domestic animals and people pass between the bonfires to eliminate disease and misfortune. In the days before electricity, the bonfire was used to light brands which rekindled lights throughout households in the village. Ancient Beltane festivals customarily included sexuality, dancing around the maypole, and singing.
Modern pagan celebrations include maypole dances and jumping the cauldron for fertility purposes. Fertility in this sense is extended beyond reproduction and includes fertility of imagination and other similar concepts.
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