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Death from Above!



I have an urge to scream this while bonsai diving someone.



Dear lord I need a vacation.

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Theban
16:16 Nov 14 2010

Or having a poo from the roof of a tall building!

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Hugs. I love hugs, I would never admit that out loud, but it's true.



When is a hug not just a hug, at what point does it become something more intimate?



I don't like it when the rules of hugging change without knowing about it. It's akward and uncomfortable.

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Theban
16:15 Nov 14 2010

A hug is great and the rules only change if one allows them.

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Today I had one of thoes profound moments when I stopped and said to myself "What the hell are you doing?".



For the first time in as long as I can remember the answer to that question was "who the hell cares, just go with it".



I, tornado of malvolent energy that I am, seem to have found some tennative version of peace and balance. Right now I am standing still and the vast whirpool of life is spinning insanely around me. I can see it, I know whats going on. I can even allow myself to be pulled along for the ride or jump in at will.



But when I'm ready, when the repetitive circular motion starts making me sick, I can let go and be back at my center.



I don't know how and I don't know when but at some point recently the pieces have all seemed to fall into place. It may not last, but for now I'm basking in the pale light of darkness and simply living.

Today I have been having inappropriate thoughts, about inappropriate things, at inappropriate times, while doing less than appropriate things. The work day needs to end before I lose what limited sanity I have left!

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.

I will not plot the demise of others.



Yea, the repetitive writing thing didn't work for Bart Simpson either.

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Theban
16:13 Nov 14 2010

Has it worked?

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Theban
16:14 Nov 14 2010

Doh! I mean why hasn't it worked lol I forgot the why!

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LokiMinion
20:49 Feb 04 2011

It did not work. My theory: writing the words necessitates thinking the words first. Thinking something gives it power and the power of plotting demise is just a little too strong for me to overcome.

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I just now, finally put the pieces together and realized that one of the people I have been talking to online (not on VR), is actually my supervisor at work.



AHHHHHHH! He, on the other hand remains blissfully ignorant.



Fan-freakin'-tastic.

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Theban
16:12 Nov 14 2010

I like it!

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Hey, you. Yeah, I'm talking to you, the one down front.



Please by all means go ahead and piss me off, I need and excuse to torture something today and the ASPCA is on my ass for putting mascara in the eyes of bunny rabbits.



***Sigh***



It has been one of those days, you know them, they suck and you get pissed off and annyoned and frustrated but there really anyone/anything to blame. No one specific person is at fault its just a crappy day.



So unless someone steps up to the plate and does something really idiotic in my general vicinity in the next 3 hours and 20 min I guess I'll just have to save the anger and frustration for another day.

In the span of 36 hours I drove 1507 miles. If I close my eyes I still feel like I'm driving.



It was worth it, I got to say goodbye to a family member before they passed away and went to the funeral.



In 12 hours I have to be at work. And the pile of crap I wasn't there to do Friday will try to smother me. And more stuff is going to be added to the oppressive stack.



I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and an emotional disaster at the moment. The worst part(well, besides the dying thing) is that the one person that could make me feel a little better is the ex-fianace.



I made the decision, I broke off the engagement. I have no doubt I did the right thing, not just for me but for the both of us. Except now, I want/need to stop wanting him. He can't possibly be the only person in the world who can soothe me, but that's exactly what it feels like right now.

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Theban
10:07 Oct 04 2010

I hope it all works out.

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