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Thinking and thinking and thinking and thoughts. Ok, so I started a Forum the other day, and odly enough, its actually gotten responses. I don't know why I find that odd, maybe because I still feel as if I'm a newbie, but anyway. Yeah, as I said in it, I believe vampires are deffinately in our modern world, and it just seems more and more pheesable after reading The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice. I have apparantly strange ides about them though, and I can't remember for the life of me where I heard them from, or why they are so promonent in my mind, but they are. So if you read this, go to the forum and look for Vampire Mania and help me out, I would be very interested in hearing eveyones thoughts. Thank you all, and may pain and suffering be meak in times present for all of you. ::bows::

Although they may seem to be forgotten by me in my profile, I have not. I feel my profile is long enough, maybe even too long, so I will pay them tribute here. I have a small circle of good friends, and none of them are in the military. My close friends are the ones I left at home while I venture into the Army, and where it takes me. Luke, Nathan, Michelle, Ryan, and Katie, you are the onse to whom I would die for in more horrific ways than the military can get me. To my loving fiance' Sarah, You mean more to me than life or death, it pains me everyday that I am away from you, and I can only count the days until I return to your loving arms for eternity. Now I can't say that I don't have other friends, these are mearly the closest of close to me, to my other friends, and anyone who would like to become friends, I will still die for you, but your place is not as deep in my heart as the ones whom I've embraced moments so long with

Ah, anarchy. One of those things that I could never understand the reasoning behind. I still don't claim to understand it in the slightes, but from the facts that I know, I have come up with a theory or two about it. It is said, that a true anarchist will do anything to bring society to a hault and alter the current day "predictibility and order" to a short drop and sudden stop, while in essance bring means for a want of caotic presance as the leading rule of thumb. Now when I say they will do anything I mean, they will do as little as write on a bathroom stall a racist remark, even if not racist themselves, just to spark a hidden hatred in another, to going out and doing demonstrations as seen in the movie Fightclub with the building on fire in a smiley face pattern. Now, even though it may be movie magic, it is still a form of anarchy, and I personally believe that the worlds media is the purist form of it. Just think for a second about how much good you hear on the news............it isn't much is it, and it definately isn't that memorable to yo, in fact they show extreamly cheesy gimics so that they say the can show some good in the world. The fact of the matter is that the media has it out for the world, it is promoting violance, negativity, and ovatious acts that will, in a very short time, bring our world to a dismal end. As bleaque and morbid as this world is, and as clouded and peoples hearts these days may be, there should be a want in the world to live, strive, survive, and find some good, even if we are shrouded in misrey and anarchy.

While pondering the quanderies of the universe that so frequanly tresspass onto the horizon of my mind, I somehow, subconciously, slipped on my Led Zeplin ZOSO album and snapped instantaioniously back to reality when the music began. As I usually do when listening to any music, I let it envelop me, and take me to whever my mind needs to go. This time, it was as if the gods of rock had wanted a personal conversation about the knowledge bestowed upon me of music. After what seemed to be millions of questions, I can only remember one, and it seems to be the most important, to me at least. What is the true purpose of a musician? The purpose is to tell a story, their story. The story in which the musician needs to share the most, and it almost never is expelled through words or lyrics of a song, it is always the instramentaists that have the most to say. I believe that the album and evnts in my mind were to show that even though the lyrics of so many songs say so much, the long instramentals say more with each note. As my drum instructor said to me in Highschool



"Put all of your emotion into that one moment for that one note, and if youhave many notes, don't anticipate, just play for the moment, you can awe an audiance by playing one note with every ounce of emotion you have and retreating, rather than bore an audiance with many notes that have no emotion." ~Jerry Steinhillber

Alright, I guess I could get used to writing her as a diary to my hearts true self. I've never been to open to public, its always been on a personal level. This Is why I feel that I should share my feelings on relationships and the hellish torment that not even the military can put you through. Now, what I am comming to understand is that there is no real differance in the basic behaviors of males and females. We all talk about eachother, have secret desires of one another, even joke about the same things, although I will admit that guys are a little more vulgar in their depictions of almost anything, but when it comes down to relationships, its a no-holds-bared fight to the death for control of one thing........SANITY!!! Now I like to argue that the one thing that no one ever has is their sanity, but, for the sake of this, I'll depict that later. All in all, sanity is what it boils down to. You try to find someone who can keep you balanced while in turn help to balance them as well. This is my belief of where "this for that" came about. Now although sanity is the key ingrediant, just like shooting an M-16A2 rifle, there are sub-keys. Now, these I seem to find more and more of every day, and most of them seem to support something else, sometimes several things, but I've found that no matter what you may think, whatever you want to believe, even how you phrase it, it all comes down to how bad you want this hellish life to feel comfortable. Like Jimmy Buffet wrote in a song.... "we need more fruitcakes in this world, and less bakers" (I ask you to find out what song I'm talking about, it will help to expand your mind)