This is nerve wracking. So much has changed in the last ten years. All I do is sleep. I hate sleeping. Im about16 weeks pregnant when i had a surgery to make sure it never happened again. Here i am with a faulty surgery, pregnant, and by a man who I love but probably doesn't love me in the same way. Im scared. This pregnancy is way different. I haven't told work or anyone outside my tiny circle of people i trust. When my job finds out ill be fired for something stupid. My bosses literally hate me. Im still working long shifts six nights a week at a factory 25 miles away from my home. The job itself wont promote me or even treat my like I'm not stupid. I hate it plus everything i do is with crazy weight. I wont be able to keep doing this at the rate Im going. But no one is going to hire a pregnant lady just for a few months. I need a rich relative to let me inherit a house here. My family that i have been staying with doesn't really care about me. But I have no money saved up and no where to go just yet. Mr. Am and myself were supposed to be saving up for a place together. But i get the feeling he is only wanting to do that not because he loves me and wants to be with me but because I'm pregnant.
I just feel alone. I'm doing my best to keep my head up high and keep moving forward. Sob 2 left state again after realizing he wasn't wanted and stood no chance in winning me back. Now if he would just disappear and leave me alone for good. He isn't helping with her at all so at this point he is just being annoying.
I have to take special shots to keep the baby healthy and to prevent miscarriage. Especially since now they have to go back in and fix the mistake. I have a lawyer who is helping to sue the company that was supposed to keep me from getting pregnant. But in their own way the lawyer is a leech. 40% of the profits if I win goes to them.
So yeah been dealing with so much. I'm overwhelmed and wish i actually had more pwople to talk to. But thats probably just the hormones talking.
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