The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

In the dark she sat,

And thought of that day.

His jeering words had not hurt as much

the pain was going away.

She wiped away he ruined make up

and peeked out from her greasy hair

she looked sadly across the room

made sure there was no-one there

The sadness he had brought her

Hate that he had shown

He had shown no intrest

So she was left alone.

The worst thing that now befalls her

is that she's got over him

she has nothing not to live for

her life will now be dim.

She loved him for so long

she addapted to his taste

she gave up so much for him

but it was all a waste.

I have become diseased

Left in this world to fester

Stricken of my immortality

Consumed with death

I am sick

Afflicted with this plaque

This drug

Which has no high

And a immeasurable low

Feels like I'm falling

Into the depths of Hell

But it's so dark

And so cold

What waits for me at the bottom

Who can know

Can you tell me

Is their hope

Can a dead man be saved

This addiction holds me fast

As I plummet through nothingness

This is all I have left

I dare not let it go

If only I knew what was waiting

This drug is my pain

This drug is my life

I must break the addiction

Relief is in the cold steel in my hands

I can bear no more

I embrace the uncertainty

I embrace the cold comfort of death

Though the pain remains

I am gone

And yet still I wonder

Can a dead man be saved

Angry eyes, staring from dark corners

Pin points of evil from the blackest of sights

The nightmare is returning,

She will die again tonight

Firelight flickering, shadows thickening,

Twilight surrendering its last light.

Midnight creatures crawl out from under beds

Terrors arise to claim the peace instead

Moonlight non-existent,

Black clouds go scudding by

Hatred hangs from every tree,

Leaves not allowed to fly.

I sit by a lake that’s like a black hole

No reflections to be seen,

Its depth unknown

Like oil it ripples slowly in the silence

Neither moon, nor starlight allowed in sight

To brighten this soulless, winter night

A gaping maw that swallows hope

The nightmare begins again.

The shadows open wounds

The shadows create the pain

No peace to be found

Their poisoned talons infecting my dreams again

Terror reigns as I stand alone,

Tortured, waiting, I can’t do this again

My knees can’t hold me

Thunder beats in my chest

I know what’s coming... I know what they seek

Closing my eyes I pray this one will be brief

This world will hold me ‘til their job is done

My white wolf will die, never to see another one

Her soulful eyes closed forever

Her broken body shuddering one last time

Brilliant white fur will turn to red

I know my beautiful wolf will end this night dead.

This is my nightmare that always comes

This night was different there was another one…

I died last night

It was not a pretty death

There were no lights or heavenly choir

There was no fire or demonic laughter either

Only darkness

And loneliness

Scared I cried out for somebody

Anybody

But no one was there

But then again

No one was ever there

Nobody mourned my death

No one cried

Or felt sad

Or even sorry that I was gone

Not a single person even cared that I had died

And frankly

I didn't really expect them to

None of you even realized that I had died

And although my corpse stills stands before you

I am dead

And you don't care

Silhouette of cursed stone, Stands in the distance,

Hidden by a thousand strings of ivy.

It stands alone unbidden by those,

Who ran from its walls.

Grimalkin house now curdled with disillusion,

And soiled with lust.

Holding relentlessly to the memories long since past,

Longing for those who had once danced,

and not fled from its rooms.

It is but her who treads the weary hallways,

And gazes from the windows,

Searching,

waiting.

She stands before the pane of glass,

Her pallor shadowed by the darkness,

And her age illuminated from the candle light.

The orange glow flickers across her gown,

Spun from the silks of those who have joined her.

Her wedding gown torn at her breast,

Reveals her ethereal skin and she knows,

She wears her shroud.

The touch of a hundred legs crawl from her skin,

Though she winces not,

But smiles.

As the creatures weave their silken threads,

And make her theirs.

The moonlight shines upon her flaxen hair,

Which glistens moist as she turns her head,

And reveals their last creation.

Her virgin noose spun to perfection,

Lies waiting for it’s solitary hangman to make a move.

Her fingers move to her left finger and she touches,

A tiny circlet of gold.

Indented into her finger, to remain long after it has been removed.

Her tears fall and glimmer on the silken threads,

Like dew on grass.

She steps up and they tighten around her,

Uncountable hands of comfort upon her body,

And she has hope in knowing,

She will not die alone.

I used a rusty razor blade for nearly a year.

In a matter of months I may no longer be here.

That razor blade ruined my liver.

When I think about it, I shiver.

If I don't get a new liver, I will die.

My chances of getting one will be slim but I'm going to try.

My wife and kids are falling apart because of this ordeal.

They're having trouble accepting that I'm terminally ill.

A man gets a different outlook on life when he's about to die.

I notice the birds, the flowers, and the big beautiful sky.

If I can get a new liver, I'll cheat death.

But it must be soon because I have so little time left

Silhouette of cursed stone, Stands in the distance,

Hidden by a thousand strings of ivy.

It stands alone unbidden by those,

Who ran from its walls.

Grimalkin house now curdled with disillusion,

And soiled with lust.

Holding relentlessly to the memories long since past,

Longing for those who had once danced,

and not fled from its rooms.

It is but her who treads the weary hallways,

And gazes from the windows,

Searching,

waiting.

She stands before the pane of glass,

Her pallor shadowed by the darkness,

And her age illuminated from the candle light.

The orange glow flickers across her gown,

Spun from the silks of those who have joined her.

Her wedding gown torn at her breast,

Reveals her ethereal skin and she knows,

She wears her shroud.

The touch of a hundred legs crawl from her skin,

Though she winces not,

But smiles.

As the creatures weave their silken threads,

And make her theirs.

The moonlight shines upon her flaxen hair,

Which glistens moist as she turns her head,

And reveals their last creation.

Her virgin noose spun to perfection,

Lies waiting for it’s solitary hangman to make a move.

Her fingers move to her left finger and she touches,

A tiny circlet of gold.

Indented into her finger, to remain long after it has been removed.

Her tears fall and glimmer on the silken threads,

Like dew on grass.

She steps up and they tighten around her,

Uncountable hands of comfort upon her body,

And she has hope in knowing,

She will not die alone.

I was born not being asked

Whether I wanted to...

For it was so absolute

To be despersed among the space and time.

No worries, no sensations... Nothing...

But then it came and

I was extracted

From the eternal euphoria of non-existence

And thrown mercilessly into the world

Of colors, sounds, smells, and feelings.

So different, so strange this was

But what could I do?

That was a decision of Almighty

And I began to live and learn.

No longer whole,

Even not a man but an empty shadow,

I roam senselessly among the ruins of the world

I used to call My Life.

My spirit's gone;

My will’s reduced to nothing;

My sacred soul has been evaporating

Leaving an aching breach behind.

My stubborn thirst for understanding things

Beyond a mortal is allowed

Is the cause of my damnation,

Which I have to bear until I disappear.

you joke at me

you play little games

cant you see

im going insane

you sit and laugh

it does no harm

except for the cuts

up and down my arm

please set me free

i hate bieng frightenend

i dont wanna be angry

so ill enlighten

if you keep this up

its my dread

pretty soon

youll end up dead

He walks alone

Among the callused faces

Of the living dead

Staring at vacant eyes

Hollow souls with no emotions

Yet he doesn't realize

When they look at him

They see their own reflection

In his face and in his eyes

He is already dead

And has been dead for sometime

Just never realized

He is living the lie

Like everyone else

Only a shadow

Moving threw the motions

Of a former life

That may never have existed

It's funny how the past repeats itself

You would think we'd learn

But he doesn't

He just moves on

And for whatever reason

Thinks he's different

Thinks he's alive

Thinks he has a choice

But he was born dead

Looking in the darkness,

Blood flows faster each minute.

The horror story and I am in it.

I feel the life in me drain away

Will anyone come to save the day?

Eyes staring blankly in the black.

My heart beat slower I grow weak

It grows difficult for me to speak.

Why dear God did it have to end this way?

Please save me someone is what I pray.

Why did this person want to kill me?

The knife has cut so deep..

If only I had the courage I would weep.

Dying in the darkenss too weak to make a sound

While people continue to live their lives all around.

This is Goodbye this is the end for death is now beyond the bend.

tomorrows turned into yesterday

joining the burning legions

armageddon's cause

im the void inside

as the sins repeat

the pains resurface

i take the lead

as i have died

repeating my satanic mantra

cutting the veins

the life flows from me

my own body i provide

i burn without sustinance

search the brimfire

for your lost soul

once again you lied

why did you leave

why did you go

these are the questions

that in my mind reside

waiting for you

your response as we burn

straight in your eyes

but you just cried

i live in a house,

not a home

home is where you are wanted

and where you're loved

there were only two places i felt home,

and both are gone.

i want to feel like i belong

instead of being forever lost...

a liquid embrace of

eternal solitude.

holding onto a book as

my emotional support

my poetry book is my life,

i can't live without it

because its mine,

every emotion,

thought, dream,

wish, hope,

love, hate,

all of it....

my poetry book is my

HOME....

MY ONLY HOME.....

Staring off into space,

Gazing at the endless possibilities life holds within,

I often wonder what it’s like for souls to depart from their Bodies,

Do these souls weep?

Do these souls mourn?

Do these souls rejoice?

Do they absorb into everything that still exist?

Do they wander around aimlessly,

Wondering about the same mysteries of live that revolve around me?

Is space the place where I go when we take in our last breath?

When my coarse blood stops its flow?

Will I continue to live on regardless of our presence within a coffin?

Will I still live if my ashes were scattered all over earth’s glorious Waters?

Someday before I depart from my body,

I hope to look back and remember the time when I was united with Someone,

Of whom was scent from the heavens above

Lost another teen...

To the suicide queen

She takes them everyday

Throwing their lives away

She catches them when they fall

She doesnt care at all....

Young, smart or pretty

She takes no pitty...

What is death?

Death is something different to us all.

To some it is rebirth, the end, or nothing,

But what is it really?

Is it hate or love?

Is it an expression or feeling?

Could it possibly be everything that we know?

Death is the night.

It creeps up slowly, and the whole time you know it's there.

When it comes it swallows you in its darkness,

Surrounding you in its deep, dark, cold, loneliness never to see the light again.

Death is a hell hole waiting for you to fall into and never to return,

And once you have fallen you are never to get up again.

You will always be there, but you will fade away slowly, slowly, until you completely disappear

Every tear you cry

Falls like acid to my heart

How do I stop the hurt

When its tearing you apart

I am you best friend..or so I say

But I cant be if I cant make the pain go away

Everytime you say you want to die

You break me down and make me cry

I know you hurt....

I hurt too..but noway will..

I ever hurt as much as you

I try to hold it together..try to be strong

I told you I was the weak one all along

Spend hours on the phone...

You screaming about how he left you

Left you to face this world on your own

I dont know what to say...

With every breath you hurt your killing me

Please know that I'll be there you

Please count on me

The screams echo in the night

Cries for help, shrieks of pain

Prayers whispered in the shadows

When no one came.

Where do all the screams go?

Do angels hear the cries?

Is that what rain is,

The tears falling from their eyes?

They say only GOD sees all

Or does he look away?

Maybe he can't handle

What the world's become today.

A silent cry is whispered

In the middle of a storm of rage.

Do the cries reach heaven?

Or get trapped in Satan's cage?

Is it the angels' angelic voices

That fill the heavens' skies?

Or is it the screams for help

When a child cries

Look into my heart, my friend, and tell me what you see.

Do you see the inner fears that are so much a part of me?

Life can be so hard at times and filled with love or rage,

Kind of like a tiny bird trapped within a cage.

When you look at who I am, do you really see me?

Do you see my inner soul just wanting to be free?

Memories of the love I share with a man who controls all,

Almost as if waiting, wanting for my inner self to fall.

The days they pass so slowly and the good times fade away,

Seems to me the bad times are far too eager to stay.

Look into my heart, my friend, and tell me what you see,

Do you see the inner fears that are so much a part of me?

Today I look at who I am and question who you see,

For if I know not who I am, How can you know me?

The anger arises and he is filled with such rage,

And this time you know that it's not just a stage.

From the day he was born he has witnessed his dad

Allowing his temper to lash out whenever he is mad.

My son thinks his temper is not all that bad,

After all, he was taught by his dad.

What can I do to make him understand

That his temper is getting way out of hand?

I try to explain there is more in this life

Than hurting the ones you Love, especially your wife.

My heart tears apart more with each passing day,

Knowing his temper will probably stay.

What can I do in this life of mine

To change the way he acts all the time?

I find it so hard to understand why he does not see

What the anger and rage has done to me.

If he would just look at who I am now,

He would see that I am lost somehow.

I have wanted nothing more than my kids to be free

From the abuse that has occurred over the years to me.

If I could change only one thing in my life,

It would be to have respect and Love being a wife.

My son needs to see that it's not ok to be

The kind of man he has turned out to be.

I Love my son with all of my heart,

And he needs to learn that there can be a new start.

This anger that seems to control his life

Needs to be stopped before he takes a wife.

I hope someday he will be able to see

That his wife deserves more than the life given me

As the clouds gather in the darkening sky,

She weaves through the crowd. Unnoticed. Unwanted.

Wind on her face and she hides between strangers,

Praying for the fear to pass.

She fears the fall of vicious words onto a hollow soul,

Of fists on a broken spirit. She spreads her moulting wings

And steps from the cliff.

She fears the passing of attention, from one to her to the next.

The empty space between streaking hordes,

Reaching the niche, the thorn in a city’s side.

The seasons change, and she grows. She learns.

As the rosé sunrise slips her hints of chill, she realises.

She fears the rising freeze of a bleak unknown.

She fears the smoke mingling with pure breath.

She fears the first frost of winter.

Pierce the skin break the bone

Feel the pain send it home

Rape the willing when you can

Taste the flesh of burning man

Inside are we all the same

Poisoned by an evil brain

Why is the message loud and clear

Is it something I’m meant to hear

Lead the children through the night

Soon they’ll taste my evil might

Giving their innocence to me

And I take it willingly

Inside no one is the same

I alone have the evil brain

Finally, the message clear

Voices only I can hear

Flesh is burning flame is red

Sending power to my head

Soul pure, young is she

She drips her sweet blood into me

Outside I still look the same

Daylight shuts the evil brain

When the midnight sky is clear

The voices command and I hear

Bite me deep so that I can live again,

And lead me from the light.

The warmth on my back, I’ll miss it not,

For in your arms I’ll lay.

Eternity shall bare us witness,

For all the pain we spill.

Hold me closer and drink deep,

I will not make a sound.

I shall listen as your heart quickens,

As mine begins to slow.

Heed it not my lovely one,

It is yours to take.

Bring me into your shadow lands,

And teach me how to live.

Together we will watch as the world falls,

At the reckless hands of man.

And we will weep as they do,

As they destroy such peaceful night.

Darling let us walk the world together,

And roam ‘till the end of time.

Stand beside me my lover always,

Until it is but two immortals, That stalk the earth.

Allow me to taste you dear one,

And I will be forever yours.

Until that time comes when it is our turn,

To watch the sunrise.

I prefer the winter to the warmth

Because at least it gives me a reason

It's hard to justify my depression

When the flowers are in bloom

I don't know why I'm angry all the time

I don't know why I can't be satisfied

I don't know why I can't be happy

It's just the way I've always been

And frankly

I'm sick of it

I am sick of living with this misery

I am sick of the unanswered questions

And sideways glances

I am sick of searching for some form of salvation

Something, anything

That will make the pain go away

If only just a moment or two

I am sick of the constant disappointment

Of my every fault and failure

There have been many

Everyday, it feels like

I'm sinking farther into madness

And even my hate and contempt for this world

Is slipping away

Leaving only a cold numbness in its place

I am not suicidal

I do not believe in such things

But I am growing impatient

My hope has dwindled down to a single thread

Holding far to much weight

It threatens to snap at the slightest movement

I am not afraid

But I don't want to die

It's just that living has become unbearable agony

I just

I just wish

That I never had existed

But that is something I can not change

So many unanswered questions

I really don't know what to do

Long live the winter

Your words portray the fact that I’m useless

Your stares mirror revengeful hate

And still I stand hurting

With wounds that won't heal

That seems to be my fate

I can’t blink or shut my teary eyes

Cannot sleep at night, just cry

Hopes of not waking up tomorrow

Stay so wanted, so high

Scars that will never go away

Tears that will never stop flowing

A father that will never feel

A broken heart from a broken love

Wounds that will never heal...

Don’t you wanna fucking die!?

Don’t you wanna leave them all to wonder why?

Just grab a knife and end it all,

And scream: “Fuck y’all!” while you fall

Hit the ground and let them all wonder,

What the fuck’s going on with you,

And let them feel all the pain,

You’ve been dragged through

Laugh in hell over each one of their tears,

Watch them mourn your death for years and years

Just take all that pain locked in you,

And force EVERYONE to feel it too

Sitting alone at night with the knife in hand,

Just knowing you can’t give what they demand,

Everyone despites you and you feel so stupid

They’re pulling a suit of guilt over you, and it doesn’t fit

You feel like a stupid kid,

With no self indulgence

No room for kindness,

You feel alone,

Disabled by blindness

Thinking of the promises that weren’t fulfilled,

Of how your innocent was violently killed

Think! Think! Think! It drives you mad!

You cant think no more, you are to sad.

You open your drawer and pulls out a smoke,

You’re gonna light it and hope that you choke,

The weed mixed in it makes you feel so free,

But you know, this is as pathetic as you’ll ever be

Searching for a truth that doesn’t exist,

Looking for path covered in mist

Gazing out the window to find the meaning of life

But when you find none of it, you turn to your knife

Cutting away your clouded past,

Only to find, that it wouldn’t last

You can’t always hide your pain

Sometimes you have to let go, what’s inside your brain…

Often I awake minutes before my alarm knocks on my sleep and breaks down the door.

Typically I give no outward sign that I’m still breathing, still thinking,

That I’m still very alive.

My hands still clenching the covers of my bed,

While whimsical thoughts fill the dark regions of my head.

Visions of lovers and magic and wine, fire and lies burn in my mind.

A snowflake, a fairy, a three-headed bear;

Everything and more finds their home there.

For in these pale moments ‘tween nightmares and sleep,

I feel truly alive and my emotions run deep.

My mind is not here, it’s in a world of it’s own.

Controller.

Master.

I’m the God of this home.

Then the shrill beeping disturbs my near-sleep.

I open my eyes and blink back my tears

As I slowly prepare for the horror of unceasing years.

All through the day, and well into the night,

I hope,

I wish,

I long for that unchallenged might.

For total control, dominance, and power.

For creating the people then making them cower.

For giving them lives then crushing their hopes.

For ending it all with knives, guns, and ropes.

To stay in this place and never leave,

I take a blade an make it bleed.

I lay in my bed and spill out my life

And smile as I slip into unending night

We meet,

within our inner eye.

We talk,

without a word being spoken.

We unite,

within this intricate web of emotion.

I try to tell,

you listen.

I try to convey,

you understand.

Words uttered in silence

bind us together.

This rhythm,

is parallel.

These hearts,

are synchronized:

They beat in harmony and

reverberate throughout our senses.

This feeling,

is shared.

These souls,

are connected.

They shine in aureole

and glow in silence

The clock is ticking as I sit here

All the memories just ticking away

It didn't have to be this way

We could of lasted forever

So now were fading away slowly

As the clock just ticks away

Minute by minute

A little bit of my life is gone

As the clock ticks

How can I move on

Because I still love you

But I'm stuck in the past

With no wayout

Time can't stop

And we can't go back in time

So I'm just fading away

My life inside of my is all gone

Almost no more

The clock still ticks as I sit here

It won't stop

Becasue I need to move on.

Heads are bowed,

Stare at the floor,

Embraces all around,

Tears flow freely,

Men walk by,

Solemn and silent,

Carrying a burden,

For people they don't know,

Gather inside,

Listen to words,

Rehearsed and with forced feeling,

Voices join in chorus,

The tears more frequent now,

Curtains open,

Curtains close,

The crowd leaves,

and gathers in the sun,

Meeting others they hardly know,

Relating tales of life,

Ready now to depart

I try and understand it,

It's harder than you think,

To accept that it's the end,

To accept that it's the last time,

If I ever want to see you,

I'll just close my eyes,

but when I reach out to touch you,

I'll only feel the space,

Where you should be,

I try to feel okay with it,

I grasp on straws and memories,

I tell myself it's not true,

How can I now go past the places,

Where you should be,

I smile,

I laugh,

but I feel guilty that I can,

Even go on talking,

Without you,

Where you should be,

We all want you back,

Where you sould be.....

Starlight shines down upon

the water that glimmers blue

Night will corrupt the world till dawn

The moon shines bright on the willow

Life hides away in fear from this darkness

Angels are secrete in the sky, afraid of their foe.

A stranger's shadow blends

with the night's presence

Steel glistens in the moonlight

The stranger's victim quivers

behind a dumpter planted

in an alley.

Blood drips from the blade

sounding like thunder

when it hits the ground

to the eardrums of the prey.

Leaves shiver in the night's cold

disguising whimpers of terror

The town sleeps, oblivious to this murder

Legs of the one who will never

see the sun again

run from the hunter,

weak bones betraying the soul.

Escape is not possible, only eternal rest....

Muscles and bones fail, bringing the hunted

to the ground, what an easy kill

this shall be...

As the wind screams its fury,

the doomed soul sings along,

giving the darkness it's last cry.

The beholder of the weapon

slices the cry short,

making the job indeed a bloody one.

I close my blinds to the window

that gives you the perfect view

of the alley.

I smile, knowing his

assassination was a success.

Mornings will come and go,

but the nights will glow,

Giving us time to hunt....

Time to reveal our love...

Our love for this condemned world....

Till tomorrow eve...

We wait...

Searching for our next soul....

To cast down....

Down into the fires of hell...

Embraced by the hands of fate,

fingers soothing haste.

Cold flesh around my face.

Clutched by the feeling to kill all in the race.

Victory can only be found in death.

Acceptance in hatred.

Love is raped,

and time is a lie.

Created by those that had a need for calculating,

the same day differently.

Viral plagues all across the planet,

sickness spilt in every tear shed,

courage bled with every battle fought.

Hate and pain seem to be the only escape.

When will you learn, the sins of the past cannot be retracted.

When rage over flows,

and you deal life's final blow.

Killing some one you don’t even know,

the feeling of power envelopes you,

the ultimate high.

Taking life.

How will it feel after the sun goes down,

no one but you and the memory left around.

Sifting through all the blood shed,

inside that lonesome head.

Wandering around with the shadows.

Pondering if you will be dragged off to the gallows.

Does peace come within reach?

Then tug away from your grasp?

Is it so hard to find release you cannot sleep?

Dead now to the world, only alive to yourself,

a walking shell, with a haunted head harboring the memory of a kill.

Fate has a way of turning the tides...

My blue skies fade away

I'm feeling the pain today

Trying to hold my head up

While I'm down...

In this depression my hearts found

The wind blows away my smile

It wont be back for a while...

The tears flow like rain

As my heart bows to pain

Ripped piece by piece

Torn before it all...

Blinked before a shadow

Wasting away again

My friends fall away...

Again I'm back to my old ways

Bones corrupted and shattered.

I wait for your call,

a line from Heaven

to soothe,

but we ended our time

in vain.

Fear absorbed the pain.

You let me in and

I dread your low sin.

Bent in half.

Where is your destiny my friend?

Aware that you have

changed.

My eyeballs are wax

and you are a piece

of string.

Kiss me.

I remembered

your autumn teeth

bitting my skin.

Better half and

this soul flew to

Heaven.

A sacred bird

free flight.

Give me wings

and bury these

wounds in the

black grave.

You sleep.

I am awake.

Now what?

One more tear to cry

Before I pass this dreary world by

Nobody knows why I did what I did

I hurried my stories end

With one more tear to cry

And one more thought of suicide

My life passed before my eyes

Then their were no more tears to cry

What can I say when it's already too late

And I tried so hard to reach you

But it was never enough

I closed the doors behind me

And returned to my misery

This room was my cell

My own personal hell

that you put me thru

What can I say when you never listened anyway

And I tried so hard to reach you

But it was never enough

So with one more tear to cry

And one more thought of suicide

My life passed before my eyes

Then their were no more tears to cry

Lightly blow shallow rings

Breaking the puddle’s reflection

And bathe in the bloodline

Slowly growing the infection

Concentration of consumption

Consumes our daily usage

Brain cell deformities, calloused

Deception knows the trick is abusage

So hit me up, pierce the skin

I need a little more needle intimacy

Remember, the trick is to deceive

Our mind to believe they are the conspiracy

Shallow rings lightly grow

Into a reflection for the taking

The trail forms marked bloodlines

Slowly flowing into a deadly awakening

I need a little, a little more solitude

To plan my jail break from sober time

The sketch artist strings the deadbeat face

And it appears to be a shadowed chalk line

Every scar tells a tale.

Each scar contains a memory.

But lies pass these lips

Lies that contradict

The story a scar longs to reveal.

The memories run rampant

At war with my suppressing deceit

Until I can't take it anymore.

I clench my fist to beat them away

And my swollen, bloodied hand bursts.

Before my world goes completely still

I watch all the blood-lies

Gush from slit wrists

And cover the scars.

Everyday is so dark and dreary

I barely remember the sun any more

I stay locked within this cell

Shades shut tight

Trying to keep out the cold

Which continuously seeps in

The room has no clocks

Minutes feel like days

And yet somehow

Years seem to go by like brief moments

It's hard to remember how long I've been here

I am tired of this constant depression

This loathing of existence

Abandoned by all others

Alone

Always alone

I can bear no more

I need to find an escape

Something to relieve the pain

Used for one thing

Slapped in the face

Surpressed memories that can't be erased

Rammed so hard it makes you bleed

Never felt love

Only lust for the time being

Silly little sluts

Or sad, confused girls

Escaping a distant reality

To create a new galaxy

Creating pleasure and happiness

Tearful moments

Red eyes

Sleepless surprise

Would your mom be shocked to know that you suck cock

Men don't want to be your friend

Little girl

Put back on your clothes

Go home, and

Play with your Barbie Dolls

I cant think straight anymore

I dont know what to do...

I just wanna put head in my hands and cry

Tonight I just wanna die...

I'm tired of holding my head up

Tired of being strong...

Tired of feeling sorry for myself

When I'm the one that's wrong

I cant keep putting on this act

I want my life back...

Take my mask off..show myself

I'm depressed and I need help

I wanna smile...I wanna cry....

I dont want my life to pass me by

Before a blink my time's up

And I dont wanna waste anymore

Coz I keep fuking up..

You can push me around coz I dont care

Everything you do I've done to someone else

I been so mean, so wrong for so long

But its only know I've relised I was like this

All along