The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

We who are about to partake of each other, shall walk past all amorous sicknesses and deaths, for we are within the magical equinox.

A ni en We who proudly make unto ourselves every graven image, shall have great copulations and are allowed to love our Gods, for we know the Sacred Alignments.

Amen We who do not crucify - nothing shall hurt us that is of the 'Nature':

neither our comings and goings from the womb, for we have the Key to all aesthetics.

Amen In this sacred moment (here occurs the symbolic eating of flesh and blood) we forget our enemies: therefore let our dead children sleep. And let our dead loves arise, so they too may watch and enjoy our ecstasies. Let their animation be power to our memories and so resurge all ecstasy, for in this day there shall be no inhibitions.

Amen Thou insatiable peripheral quadriga of sex.

Amen

It really does suck. Everybody is so amazed with vampyrism and they only look at the good in it. The bad totally overcomes it. Last night I was at a house party. It was your average punk-kid crowded drunken party. They had strobe lights there. I was in a dark room and the only lights were blinky Christmas ones and the strobe light. I started getting headaches from all of it, so I put on my sunglasses. Even then, they only sustained me for a few minutes. I couldn't even just close my eyes, I had to put my hands over them. Even then, I was still sick. The energy in the room was foul. All these drunken girls started taking off their shirts and the boys followed them. One of the girls thought I was sad when really I was getting sick from the light. She started giving me a lap dance. The constant change of light and dark really started fucking with my head. I left the room into the hallway, which was lit with black lights. Even the black lights were excruciating. Mitch followed me into the hallway. I started to stand in the hallway and started to sink down to the floor. I couldn't take all of it. I was getting highly sick. I went to the bathroom and puked twice. I knew it wasn't from the alcohol either. I started to vamp out. After I puked, the lights were still intense. I started breathing heavier and felt adrenaline rushing through my body. I was about to rip apart somebody out of anger of my sensitivity. It slowly started to decipate as I sat in a corner in the kitchen. God that sucked.

Can't get blood, you say?

Can't take the pain, you say?

Completely f*cked and out of options, you say?



Well, friend, you'v come to the right place. Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Vicious, the high king of last ditch efforts. If you're desperate for a quick, easy, and relatively inexpensive fix, have a seat and listen up.



1.) Go to the online yellow pages, put in your ZIP code then type in "butcher" or "slaughter house". I suggest starting with butchers, as they usually are more willing to sell.



2.) Don't even think about going to a chain store, deli, or any thing like that; they'll just look at you like you're nuts. What you need to find is a privately owned and operated butcher.



3.) Be prepared to spend a little money, as well as negotiate.



4.) Call them up, and ask them if they sell blood. Now, this is VERY important!!! They must understand that it has to be beef blood*, and that it MUST be fresh and sterile enough for human consumption. (Tell them you're English or something, and you're making blood pudding). If they say they can do it, ask how much (my guy tried to get me at $5 a pint, but since I bought it in bulk, I talked him down to $3.50). Arrange an order for the date and time you can pick it up.



5.) Now you're going to need some extra stuff here...



A: One bottle (or more, depending on how much blood you bought) of wine. NEVER use white, only red. And the stronger the better.

B: A funnel with a nozzle small enough to fit into the wine bottle opening.

C: A THIN cloth (a clean bandana works fine). Be prepared to throw it away.

D: An empty, clean washed milk jug.



6.) Take the bandana and place it inside the funnel, but not all the way; though deep enough so that there is room to pour liquid in it. Tape it around the edges, so that it is secure. Insert it into the milk jug. Pour the blood (very slowly) into the contraption. When all of it has been strained, remove the funnel from the jug and the bandana from the funnel.



7.) Now, in the milk jug, mix about a 1:2 ratio of blood:wine. gGet rid of the rest of the wine (better yet, save it for later). Use the funnel to pour the concoction back into the wine bottle (as to hide it's continence while in the fridge). Shake well. Put the bottle in the coldest part of your refrigerator, but NOT the freezer.



Shake the bottle well every time, before you drink the contents; that way you get an even mix. It tastes like piss, but it works (it takes about a full glass to kill the need for me), and you don't have to worry about donors talking, or blood-born diseases.



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*Beef blood is the least bio-hazardous of all the blood available at a butcher. Pork blood can be EXTREMELY toxic, as can all the others.



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LadyAntonia adds that 1) even mixed with wine in the coldest part of your fridge, this mixture probably will only keep for three days or so; and 2) the thing about raw blood for human consumption makes me wonder... blood puddings and other sausages are cooked, so... there's probably some extra care that needs to be taken when ordering this from the butcher. The alcohol in the wine will kill some types of micro-organisms, but some are only killed by heat or freezing. It's not entirely unsafe, but you might want to advise just really being aware of how the butcher goes about his business. If they are catching the blood from a hairy carcass, i would say pass on it; there can be fecal material in the cow hair. Sometimes they don't bleed the animal until the hide is off, so... it depends. I am wondering if there is some way a person might get the blood from kosher butchers; it's doubtful, but they are very clean and careful.

It's not at all like in the movies or books. Sure, I understand. I'd like to be THAT way, too, but I'm not. You are young; you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a vampire is not what it seems like. It's a life full of frustrations, and complications, stress and worry. We are as human as you are. Our lives are just as ratty and boring as anyone else's life. It's not what you are that counts, but how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity?



Being a vampire won't automatically cause these things to happen. You, yourself, must strive to obtain these things for yourself. Do you want to be interesting and different? All you'll be is different. People, if they know, will think you're a freak, or that you're just a mental case; they won't believe. If they do believe, they won't understand. It's a pain. You lose friends, not gain them. You go through life struggling with yourself. There are times when you would be without any sources, and what will you do then, but suffer? You can't just go out and "take" someone, or hypnotise them to give you blood.



It doesn't work that way. You mess up, you have the Law after you, wanting to put you in jail, or a psychiatric hospital, where your needs DEFINITELY won't get met. So you suffer, and hate the one that turned or awakened you. I don't even know if "turning" someone is possible. For all I know, drinking blood itself is addictive. You have all sorts of unpleasant problems that go with it. Migraines, sensitivities, gastric problems. You'll be late for work on more than one occasion because you can't leave the house til you find your sunglasses, or you are vamping out too bad to make an appearance at work. That doesn't look good on your record. Bosses don't like that. They put little black marks by your name in your employee file.



And should you become tired of being this way, then too bad. You're stuck with it. Once the novelty wears off, or you decide that it's not the life for you, after all, then what? Life goes on. And you hate it worse than you may have hated it before you were a vampire. Do you really want to feel strung out, shakey, ill-at-ease and constantly, endlessly thirsty all the time? Do you want to place value on another person by how much blood you think they have in them? That may sound funny to you, but it's not. It's not funny at all. It's sad. Listen to me, I know this stuff. I live with it. It's not cool.



Ahhh, you're young, you won't listen to me. I know. It's the way of the young not to listen to those who are older and have lived through the things they speak of. I don't know what else to say. Either you will listen to me, or you won't. I'm not telling you this stuff to be a spoilsport, or to be mean and nasty, but so that you won't: A.) ruin your life with it, or B.) spend your life wishing to be something that you think is great, but isn't. If you never get to be a vampire, then you have not missed out on anything great and wonderful. Count yourself fortunate.