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6 entries this month
Flesh
01:45 Jan 23 2009
Times Read: 683
ahhh.. baby, i can hardly recognize myself
mmmmmmmm.... touch me
The light is going blue.
Morning approaches.
The pain´s still here.
I´m empty - empty - empty.
Sounds of the world,
Of laughter and tears.
I´ve nothing left.
I´m empty - empty - empty.
Heaven is forbidden
But I´m going soon
Kiss me one last time
before i take my flesh away
Heaven is forbidden
But I´m going soon
Kiss me one last time
Kiss me one last time
I want wisdom on tap, flowing like water
strange i want that because
I´m empty - empty - empty.
So now eat your words,
I hope you choke.
I feel nothing no more.
I´m empty - empty - empty.
ahhh.. baby, i can hardly recognize myself
mmmmmmmm.... touch me
Heaven is forbidden
But I´m going soon
Kiss me one last time
before i take my flesh away
Heaven is forbidden
But I´m going soon
Kiss me one last time
Kiss me one last time
Dirty19:07 Jan 08 2009
Times Read: 728
Keep knocking
No one's there
Pouring down
Near be felt
I'm out here
By myself
All alone
Ready to blow my head off
I hurt so bad inside
I wish you could see
The world through my eyes
It stays the same
I just wanna love again
Keep hoping
Nothing to spare
So my life
Isn't quite there
Feel like a whore
A dirty whore
Such a whore
Dirty...
I'm out here
By myself
All alone
Ready to blow my head off
I hurt so bad inside
I wish you could see
The world through in my eyes
It stays the same
I just wanna love again
Just wanna love again
Headache
17:39 Jan 08 2009
Times Read: 732
I hear the words are spoken
I think my mind is broken
I keep on steady smoken
Hopefully I die from choken
Know what I was just thinking
Maybe if I keep drinking
The voice will quit and I can escape from this demon deakin
My lifes a living hell
Only the voice can tell
Oh please oh christ compell
Lead me from this evil spell
My body won't stop shaking
These voices keep on making
Me do things to people, this must just be the work of satan
They want my mind an soul this shit is way out of control
I haven't been to sleep in weeks, I'm sweating but my body's cold
I'm shaking like a leaf, terrified to go to sleep
Puking from the medication my vitals signs are looking weak
I see him in the mirror, he told me come inside
He lives inside my head so there's no where to hide
They want my soul to die so they can come alive
Possess my body, so everybody can realize
They say they'll give me pain
They say they'll give me love
They say they'll make me bleed
And tell me I'm above
They take me down again
This is my medicine
I cut the head off the devil and I throw it at you!
They say they'll give me pain
They say they'll give me love
They say they'll make me bleed
And tell me I'm above
They take me down again
This is my medicine
I cut the head off the devil and I throw it at you!
I take so many zoloft
I bleed my nose off
I run up in a church and rip my fucking clothes off
The demon follows me right to the house of God
But then it swallows me and takes me to the Lotus Pod
What can I do when my brains shakes my earth quakes
My lips crack, my skin dries up and flakes
Sleepless, 6 days of weakness
I pin eyelids open, with rusty paperclips
The demons coming for me, they want to take my body
Hands reaching up behind me sufficate the breath up out me
They sqeeze my vocal chords until I want to scream
Call upon the dark lord please wake me from my dream
I'm steady poppin no-doze, I never want to sleep
Mental pressure over comes the brain, the evil creeps
Body shakes beyond control I need to pop another pill
Demons here to take my soul to late I need a refill
Spoken are the words
In the hands of pythona
Are the magic spells
To unlock the keys to the universe
It awaits, it will be summoned
By the pedals of the lotus
The night candles clean mind and soul
Shall invoke the power
They say they'll give me pain
They say they'll give me love
They say they'll make me bleed
And tell me I'm above
They take me down again
This is my medicine
I cut the head off the devil and I throw it at you!
They say they'll give me pain
They say they'll give me love
They say they'll make me bleed
And tell me I'm above
They take me down again
This is my medicine
I cut the head off the devil and I throw it at you!
I sit alone in the closet so I can hear what they saying
I'm rocking back and forth helpless will it, infest my ahhhh
My momma told me it would pass its been 17 days
The bag of the tynonel bottles don't say shit about a soul rape
Tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do now (how)
Act how (now) go where (here) be with who listen more to me or you?
Father tell me whenever will I be back to normal (never)
I guess I'm cursed to live with this headache forever
I can't sleep at night
Cause all these sounds in the darkness
Wake up in a cold sweat
Body feeling heartless
Pop a couple sleeping pills to try an relax
Every time I doze off something's breathing down my back
Could it be the afterlife or just a soul living inside of me
Praying for the day to take us both out of our misery
Could it be the evil ways of past on friends?
Or maybe all the lives I took are coming back for they revenge
They say they'll give me pain
They say they'll give me love
They say they'll make me bleed
And tell me I'm above
They take me down again
This is my medicine
I cut the head off the devil and I throw it at you!
They say they'll give me pain
They say they'll give me love
They say they'll make me bleed
And tell me I'm above
They take me down again
This is my medicine
I cut the head off the devil and I throw it at you!
Give me pain
Give me love
Make me bleed
Take me above
Take me down
This is my medicine
I cut the head of the devil and I throw it at you!
Afraid of Me
01:26 Jan 07 2009
Times Read: 737
Now you can try to sedate me, assassinate or just hate me
But there's nothing that you can do to me lately
Now I'm greatly accepted in the mind so I'm confused and intertwined
From being rejected so many times, I wanna leave it all behind
So many questions, fingers pointing for answers
Suggesting that I'm the cancer that lingers inside the pasture
With green grass up to my neck, and situations that's too fast
To think about and most people can't dream about
Reminisce from descendants of past treasures
We'll embark on a journey that'll stay alive forever
Plus I would stand over on my side of the fence
Regardless of the circumstances or the consequences
I am my own worst enemy
I'm not the smartest motherfucker and shit, I don't pretend to be
And why I am the way I am is not a mystery
My mind's not in proper working order or in therapy
The brain's confused and mentally abused
Life's been hanging on a string so what the fuck I got to loose?
And what the fuck I got to prove to you?
If you don't know me by now, you'll never know me
You can put that on my real homies
I got problems and they stack like bills
And I relate to the broken, bleeding heart love killed
And I awaited in the shadows, awake in the dark
Hoping to talk to the passed on, I'm falling apart
I'm such a mess and decisive, I'm fading away
I'm out of touch with society and living today
Never relying on my sanity, I threw it away
To become the maniac that's got your attention today
Can you keep a secret?
Well I'm afraid world because they want me to die, can you believe it?
But I'm still alive... and been floating since '95
With my chin held high but I'm so dead inside
Let the problems just roll and put them back into a pile
Because it's just a bunch of shit that I can't deal with right now
And I'm tired of always guessing and messing it up again
And the next day it's even deeper and I'm steady sinking in
I took a look at myself and came to grips with what I found
It was a vision of a child, disturbed and broke down
No soul, no heart because I gave it away
No time for feeling sorry, I'll grieve another day
And all those tears are stored in storm clouds
That hover above me and cover the ugly
Continued to haunt me when I was feeling low
That's the same reason I hold on and never let go
This Boy02:38 Jan 05 2009
Times Read: 740
That boy took my love away,
He'll regret it someday,
But this boy wants you back again.
That boy isn't good for you,
Tho' he may want you too,
This boy wants you back again.
Oh, and this boy would be happy,
Just to love you, but oh my,
That boy won't be happy,
Till he's seen you cry.
This boy wouldn't mind the pain,
Would always feel the same,
If this boy gets you back again.
This boy. This boy. This boy.
To Feed01:25 Jan 02 2009
Times Read: 745
Fiery demons dance upon the moonlight sky
From the distance comes a chilling cry
Your slumber is shaken
Welling up in your soul, you feel the Hunger awaken
Filling every pore of your being
Consuming you it is, not soon to be leaving
Your thoughts swirl about in endless colors
The Hunger has now become your lover
A pain unlike any you have known
Visions now you are being shown
A drive to feed
Now becomes your only need
Nothing else can you see
Save for fulfilling the Hunger's plea
Emptiness that begs to be filled
What fills that hole brings you a most frightful chill
The plague of darkness it be
From deep within, you long to be free
An escape nowhere is to be found
Ringing between your ears is that echoing sound
Thump. Thump. Thump.
A close heart beating
Thump. Thump. Thump.
That close heart now screaming
Numb to what you once had been
Becoming now, you fiend
Striking out with lightning speed
You are never seen
Your prey falls abruptly to ground
No one but you is around to hear the sound
Blood flowing from the wounds given by you
Your victim is now through
Fire rips through your veins
Her thoughts call your name
Who she was is now you
From your eyes comes now a different view
Drunk you have become
The Hunger has silenced its beating drum
A freedom now gained from this Hunger's seige
Only to return upon the morrow's eve
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