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What a day...

I have another laptop. Well I was purchasing one however my godmom bought me one so now I have one for the living room and abuse and the other in the bedroom on its own alter .

Hehe

LOL Sorry nothing good ever happens to me so it is about time is all I can say.

One of my friends wanted me to train him in the arts if you would. I did the pick your god and goddess and the boy was like I cannot I have to get books give me some. I donot have the internet. I did the love the excuses you want it bad enough you will get them and not whine.

simple as that. You can go to the library and go on line I donot have a car and I do when I have to. So he has a car he knows where I live and knows I have both. He has to work on gaining something called balls. more so work at it. kindergoths I love it really I do. It is not going to be easy nor will I make it easy. He has to work on focus and such what a better way...

:)

Well I am back online and really beyond words. I thought it would be easy however it is not.

My new laptop of course doesnt have a paper manuel and well I am more of the paper lady then new techie lady.

Wow I am amazed I even figured out how to get on it is weird and makes me wonder about the rest I am not certain on.



Work has been the only thing between mourning and crying and being a crazy person. I miss Max. I miss talking to him and being connected with him. I wish he was still here and it is so weird not beingable to chat with him.



one of my friends tried to set me up on a date friend thing. Shit I was not ready for that. I growled and snarled and went back into my bed.



I am going to therapy now and well even with that it makes me think will I ever get over his death and move on. I know the right thing is to move on but how can I do that so quickly you know?



It just doesnt feel right. My friends when I do visit them see I have changed and not for the better obivously... I lost something wonderful to death it takes a toll on anyone.



ehhh I am live... That is better then I was a week ago...

I have been busy coping with Max being dead and my laptop being Downnnnnnnnnn. I hate it and I am over a friend’s house typing so I can vent out the death of Max on Monday my laptop died the same day. Tuesday my cell phone died and I saw and felt him that day. Wednesday I got confirmation he was dead and Stacey felt weird as I did about talking to each other that day.

So a week went by and I still did not have proof of death. Nothing again this week and I still have a dead laptop and a cell phone that is a bit like a flip phone but purple. Not like my old one and man it is weird and hi tech stuff. I told bell south to turn off the extra gadgets and went from there.

So without proof of death I am going to therapy and working on myself and ignoring the world. I have people coming up to me at work thinking that it is not good to tell me I am sorry but that they love me. joy…IN my heart and mind I know he is dead in my soul I am not convinced till I see an article or his death certificate to prove to me that he is dead.