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(Verse 1)

I have to block out thoughts of you, so i don't loose my head

They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed

Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone

Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain

An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?

And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face

And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted this



(Chorus)

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me and wait, yeah wait for it to swollow

Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you



(Verse 2)

I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with

The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing that I won't touch again

In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight

You never doubted my warped opinoins on things like suicidal hate

You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take

So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind

And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind



(Chorus)

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me and wait, yeah wait for it to swollow

Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you





(Verse 3)

And when the sad hard eyes say bye to you and wave

Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made

And like a baby boy I never was a man

Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand

And then I found out I can't make it go away, just make it stop

Come back and shine just like it used to be

And then she whispered "How could you did this to me?"



(Chorus)

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me and wait, yeah wait for it to swollow

Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you, for you, for you, for you...

i thot she was my friend but i must ahve been wrong bc once we were one person, she shared thots and deepest darkest secrets and we laughed and cried together, we expierced things for the first time 2gether, both our first kisses were given to each other by the same guy, even tho thats not what i really wanted, it was a sudden thing! and now we r growing father apart ecah day and she cannot see it....one i can! she tried smoking once, i know she did, she told me, smoking kills u!! thats not a kool thing to do, so y is she doin it? why is she snaking inot her moms liquor and drinking it when she knows there is already sumthing wrong wit her, may it be in her head of sumthing wrong in the ovaries, theres sumting wrong, wit not only her, but US!! why did she all of the sudden become to distant form me, why is she still pushing away? am i not good enuff 4 yet another soul?? whats so wrong wit me? see, this is y im not woshing to find love, bc ppl think they like me, and myabe they do, for a but, but i guess i get old and they look for new! i wanna be wit sumoine where the new never wears off!! kinda like sarah she has lost it to colton and awww how cute! i sinpmly love it! she encougages me to do the same but it means to much more to me to keep me to myself then it is to lose it to sumone who isnt gunna even care that they took sumthing away form me that i can never get back, that will never change! so itll only matter to me, then y share it? bc THERE IS NO SPECAIL SUMBODY OUT THERE WAITING FOR ME!!!!! its a lie....friendships a lie...loves a lie...theres no love theres only tolerance!!



Cassie be my sister again, cum to me and ill wip[e away all ur tears, fight away all ur fears, ive held ur hands for all these years, and yet u still ignore my plea! COME BACK!! L.Y.L.A.S!!! 4 ever and always!! ok?



no matter what is or may be wrong wit u i want to u al;ways know ull just be cassie with me, the one who ive shared SO many memories with, the one ive shared years and years of my life with...ok?...ur not fucked up.....ur not wierd.....ur not deffective....ur cassie!!!

I have found him! my shelter form the storm, my light at the end of the tunnel. his name is Master Malichi Leviathan, and i am his Queen Courtney Daydric Leviathan. And i will forever worship him, for he is my voice when i cant speak, he is my eyes when i cant see, he is my ears when i cant hear! he will 4ever be a part of me and for that i am thankful! I trust in him and i will be a follower in his word. I will never let him down and do my best to plz him in anyway possible! I will love cherish and honor him!



he will be the one to put mys oul to rest, he will help me, this tortured soul of mine. he will be the cuase for my smile! and i will be his.....4ever!!



Love & Blessings,

Queen Courtney Daydric Leviathan

Sometimes i must face myself and the demons that ly beneath the outer layers of this fake smile and tell mysefl "this is me, this is my world" and all around me that has ever held ne meaning in my life tumbles down b4 me. my heart throbs pain thru every veins in my body. i cry rivers that flow and flood my pillow. am i to stand up and use my voice or am i to take the easy way out and let others lay me down. does it even make a difference? will it make life ne easier? life, now thats a new subject all together, what is lfie persay? whats the point? why do we hurt? if there was no pain then would there still be happiness? so dont we owe it to the cutter, do they not make ourleves easier? do u ahve sympathy for the stranger with the scars on her arms? did u ever take a second look at sumones smile and see the hurt behind it? if u take the bad outta this world then we'd have nothing left! we'd have midless robots wlaking around feeding off each others happiness, competing to be happy, like clowns! do u pity or look up to ppl who actaully show thier emotions, who speak thier minds? if i were to die tomorrow, would u look at this differantly then u would if u thot i was to post again? whay would it mean anymmore to you? for i am no moer then a strnger and no less then a pigment of ur imagination. life is this dream that some of us choose to wake up from, life is this game and the game ends when we choose to finally try and win, our accomplishments mean nothing when we leave, when our soul past on to this place that is so perfect no one can even imagine what its like. but how does everyone think its perfect? we have differant opinions and views do we not? so lets say i were to go and slit my wrost tonite, how many ppl would care? how many would cum to my funeral? how many would seek 4 more then just acceptance? isnt that what we all want? to be loved and accepted. we chnage ourselves until we r nothing more then a mere mortal and a shadow of our formers selves, with this new idenity we smile ad laugh and then cry at night in the safety of our own arms. yes, this is the human race, how could god, something so good and mighty create so many fucked up things? is this some kinda joke? are we here for his amusement? the jokes on us i guess.