The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Today at 6:25 in the morning my grandmother past away because of not taking in fluids and after putting her on 5 IV drips, her heart gave way. My uncle was more broken up then any of us and I can't say that I'm that upset. I know I should be, but I didn't know my grandmother all that well. It'll probably hit me later down the road, maybe in a couple of days when I tell someone what has happened.



So far 3 deaths in over a year..... what else can happen in my life that already hasn't happened

Well guess it took time for everything that used to happen before my ex came back with me to Washington. All the yelling and blaming is back in my life, now everytime I turn the corner in my house I'm being yelled at about something. No matter if I go to school or not..... could that explain why I'm slowly not going to school anymore, probably.



I think I never admitted it myself, but maybe the reason I wanted my ex with me was so he could take all the pressure of my family off of my shoulders. That's probably why I did so great in first semister, but now everything is landing back on my shoulders and I'm starting to slip back into my old ways.



I'm starting to hate my life again and feel like I don't belong in this world, maybe I was never supposed to be here in the first place, maybe I'm the runt of the litter and I'm being casted out. Or maybe I'm loosing control and going back into my depression and downing myself everytime someone yells at me. It seems like its getting easier for me to make someone yell at me, I don't even do anything and I get yelled at.



Is it normal for this to happen all of again, or am I doing something to the fate and making this all restart like always.......