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I see her walk down the other side of the hallway. She turns her head to look back at an illusion. I motion her over and she needs to speak to me too. Last night we connected. How? This I do not have any knowledge of. I slept hard last night and woke tired. There’s more than just her beauty and walk that is drawing me out to her. I am trying desperately to place her in my mind. Suppressed memory? Childhood? Or that of an older memory I can’t recall. Only he has the power to do it.

Again I feel trapped. I look upon her face as she speaks, boggled with thought, solving a solution she can’t answer. My eye connects with hers. I am able to see through them. In the shadows of her mind I slip into the darkness. Once again I see her there. Brightness on one half, black, then coal on the other. She stands at will, her justice sword with brilliant gems. I’m held at bay, no closer do I go to her. If asked, I would come out of the shadows. Weary and reluctant am I to go too close. She is balanced for now. I must leave before I tip those scales.

I watch her hurry off as usual. I feel alone again. My mind is uneasy and troubled. Devote to me keeps invading my thoughts as if it was her will. She is gone, but I feel her prying, trying to enter that which must remained closed. If opened I fear...I cannot...I must guard it more now. But yet again feelings, thoughts and memories confuse me.

My mind races. My sight goes endless as I look at other times or civilizations. My friend Bryan asks me if I am all right and I come out of my trance-like state. I answer him with a yes and loose memory of what I see. He/it inside speaks to me of war. I can feel his lust for death and blood. He is tired of living and wishes for death.Again my mind ponders on the words "Devote to me, devote to me, devote to me..." over and over again. Why does it run through my inner thoughts? Could it be what her words mean? The puzzle pieces don’t fit. What is it that this search, these thoughts and feelings that have brought us together? Is it love? I no longer know that meaning or concept can I grasp. She is bound to her mate and their love reaches out.

Could it be the desire of love for her that draws me close? Desire the concept to want. I neither want nor long for such. But the need and devotion of such my heart yearns and cries to have. Torn by pride, devotion, feelings, and thoughts. I feel like the thief being quartered and stretched in four directions. I no longer wish to be in this time and the future. Now her presence I no longer feel. She is caught in the mist for now. Balanced but must choose which side she will go. He stirs in me; her presence is felt. She isn’t gone, but lingering in my shadows. Behind my eyes, I feel her spirit. In the human I felt the softness of her hands. Am I here for her or her for me?

A connection is made between us. The feeling is there, but I must suppress it for now. I fear the future, for I know he is the hunting hawk who will be free to soar again. Again devote to me! Why oh why is it haunting my mind? Am I to devote to her, she to me or I to him inside? The doorway is sealed. I sealed it. Inside he must remain. My neck soars with pain now. As if it were hit with a board and the vibration spreads the pain to my back and shoulders. Again I grow tired, but can’t sleep. Old age comes quicker each passing day. My strength is slowly slipping away. I feel drained and want to close my eyes. They hurt, it will be a long one for my spirit and short on me. What waits? Will I remember? Will I lose tonight? I fear...

My left forearm just went sore as if it was grabbed hard from behind. I continued on. Several times I stopped, as my mind became complacent. What happened during my slumber? Why do I sore and ache so much? Where did the cuts and scrapes come from? I know I am alone again. He sleeps soundly now as she reads my disturbing thoughts. She is the first I’ve ever told my secrets to. Not even my separated wife knows about my past life, thoughts, feelings, or of him. But she knows my strengths as I have broken two doors open in anger. Only twice I’ve shown it. The rest I hold inside and he likes it. My eyes grow heavy. Sleep wants to come. My body wearies, but I can’t sleep. Thoughts, feelings, and rage stir through me.

The open space I am in no longer looks like a room, but once a possible battleground now covered in grass with small hills through it. My right side gets sore just below the ear and back. Like a fist hits me. There is a dull throbbing soreness now. I have no choice. I must get rest. Even if it’s for just ten minutes. I returned to my dorm room and laid down. My eyes hurt and they water. I can’t sleep; she’s in my thoughts as well as my mind. I tell myself to stop. It’s not working; she’s still there. I say she’s forbidden, yet I still see her image.

If chaos is confusion, then my life is forever lost. If love is peace and peace balance, I’ll never achieve it. My past haunts me. If only I can find the answers. To the far back, I can’t go. Too many ways to get lost. Old scars not healed. Doors with many locks are telling me I can’t search my own mind. Dreams are reality and reality dreams. The hand is faster than the eye. Then what is faster than our minds that see these dreams. I’m now once again at a loss, unable to focus my thoughts from mind to head to paper. She’s in my mind. Again devote to me sounds off like echoes in a canyon. I must stop; to sleep would be well received. But now my body and mind do not welcome it. She’s there...why?

Tonight we had dinner. She showed me some poems. Unlock the doors it says and shine in the light. It’s not the light going in, I’m afraid of the darkness coming out. What’s in there is more evil than even I can tell. It’s big, stronger than overlord demons. I have freed it. My hate and anger. There are Someday’s I don’t know how I get by keeping it sealed up. I look at her. I see what effect I have on her. I’m draining her, tapping her energy. In the end I am also draining my own. She notices this time that I am trying to look into her. Her door is locked. She places her hand on her right temple and tells me no you don’t want to go there. Why, I asked? She tells me. I still want to go, but she denies me. I’m not afraid of death or of any weapon. I’m already dead on the inside. The rest of me just don’t know it yet. She is wearing down. I should let go. I need to release her. But again to be afraid of losing her and knowing that loving her is wrong. I can’t take her from her mate. I will be alone again once more. Maybe someday I’ll find peace.

The seals are slowly breaking. My inner self wants to be free more. His patience grows thin. Can she bring the peace I so desire and end this torture and sleeplessness? She has only killed me several times before. Now can she do it again, knowing if she does, mortal humans would not understand? She would be signing her own death sentence. This time the mortal is mine. If I go, he will go as well. Your fiery red hair and dragon green eyes. You entice him. But remember it’s me that am damned. Damn cause of Ich liebie du! En zig win du neu! “ I love you, only if you knew” Come now and feel with your heart and not your spirit. Let our souls rekindle again. Oh my God what am I thinking? why am I flip flopping in my mind so much? Am I truely beginning to go insane?

She has greatly disturbed him who lies within. It’s late so I’ll lie here. It’s past two AM, still no sleep. My thoughts wander. It’s disturbing. Thoughts are flashing in my mind. I hear him growling, spitting and hear his torments down in his catacombs. Dark disturbing evil columns lines the halls. Ancient writings and drawings line along the walls and tables. He’s asked me inside. I must not go, but I am drawn in. I need to see. His word is his bond. It’s not my time and yet here I will stay. The hallways are long. He walks tall and proud. He tells me of her. It’s my love for her that’s betrayed me and her love for me she must hunt. We have fought for thousands of years. Each time reborn in a new mortal. She is my death and I am her prince willing to serve her if she would just love me, worship me, and do what I say and call me lord. Do this and you will be my queen and anything I can get or have will be yours.

I feel her in my mind. He opens a door and shows me a stained glass window. Now I must sleep. I slept for about thirty to forty five minutes tonight. She invaded my mind and thoughts strong and forcible. She understands more of her past than I do of my own. " Too long have I been bound to this mortal. A strong spirit and mind. You would have made a great warrior in my time worthy to serve my reign." Damnit!!! Quit flipping back and forth, I tell myself. All I hear is a laugh in the background.

"I know you seek what you will never have and you will always be hunted by the one you truely love." He says to me. Can I win her back? Is there enough of Lord Veldons blood in her? I know I must try, but she must break the seals. "I can kill you now if I so desire. You are too trusting of me, but even my words are my bond." He says again in the back of my mind.

She’s passing though the hallway again and I gaze and call out to her with out words. She stops, turns and comes to me. She’s full of energy today. So lively and beautiful.

"Poor mortal, you don’t understand your fate. A true servant you are." I hear him say in the background. Can she open his seals? I believe her uncle has hindered her, misled her of her ways. How will this affect her? She and I can feel we have pursued each other and will continue to do so centuries after this. Who is really hunting whom? But it’s by her we will die once more. Someday my dear Katrianne we will find our way back home. It’s there when the circle is complete. It will be there when our torment, pain, and torture will end. I await my salvation. I pursue her thoughts, again wanting in. She is mine as I am hers. She must reopen the past. I will try again later, I must. I now believe she holds the key to which I really am. And with that, the rest will fall into place. Slowly, but quicker than what I do know. I need to give my thoughts a rest. Allot has happened since we all came together. Many images flash in my mind and so many places I feel I have traveled to, hell awaits me once again. I will rest as my eyes hurt for now.

COMMENTS

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PaganWitch
05:37 Feb 11 2022

to my surprise I am a little shocked that he didn't just let her in and see how things would go which he realized it was always meant to be this way and fighting it was futile from the beginning

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Pattima Crimsontooth: Tabaxi Sorcerer

I never knew who my real family was, as you see I was abanded by my family within the forests of Dreadwood. A group of traveling monks and spellcasters had found me one day foraging for food. They were frightened as was I and thought me to be a monster began to attack me with their spells. Intrigued yet frightened I froze staring at them from the trees. Their mastery of spells caught my curiosity and I felt a rush and surge within me come forth and had sent a lightning bolt across their heads, they stopped and began to converse among themselves and then invited me to camp with them. I was only a teen then but remember it so well.

They took me in as one of their own and began to train me as wizards and sorcerers were hard to come by these days, especially for merchant ships coming in and out of port of the city of Dreadwood. I was like a sponge. Wanting to learn all that I could about anything and learned rather quickly. Whenever I was exposed to some magic, I couldn’t help but try to figure out what it does and how it worked. Ever since I discovered the humanoid world, I have felt an unending desire to learn more about myself and the world around me. There were so many wonderful new things I have been exposed to. As my time neared to finish my schooling, I was gifted with 2 daggers and a quarterstaff and sent off on my first assignment onboard the Dawntreader defending her and her occupants from the dangers of pirates and sea creatures.

She's intelligent, reliable, daring and perhaps a little too foolish, she’s impulsive and often follows her whims even when it’s inappropriate. But there's more than meets the eye, not surprising for somebody with her position. But who really knows what will happen; she is currently still studying, as she feels like there's more to experience in this world. She could quickly become a friend you'd want by your side.

Tilari Greyfire: Dwarven Cleric

This dwarven woman has deep-set blue eyes. Her silky, curly, amber hair is worn in a style that reminds you of a plume of smoke. She is short and has a feminine build. Her skin is cream-colored. She has a low forehead and a strong chin. Her wardrobe is strange. She was once part of a royal family but through some circumstances, her family's kingdom fell. A hired group of mercenaries that her family sent on a quest returned with ghouls chasing them. The ghouls attacked and destroyed her kingdom. She was determined to become an undead hunter to avenge her fallen family. She never forgets anyone or how they have affected her or her family. Everything she does is for them. She will do anything to uphold the honor of her family.

Kayen Telva: Elvin War Mage

I grew up in Myth Drannar with one of my parents and two siblings, me being the youngest we were not exactly poor, but we weren’t rich either living in a shack or all sorts, but it was home nonetheless. My mother raised us as my father, who was a wizard himself was sent off to assist on a sailing exhibition, I never saw him return and no one knew what happened to the ship he was attached to. I had excelled in magic like my father and it was determined by my mother that I needed to start studying arcane magic, I was only in my 30’s. One day, Myth Drannor keep was attacked and destroyed I was 49 years of age than when it had occurred. Myself and my family were separated in the chaos and I could never find them. The masters of the school found me wandering in the streets and rubble was falling down around me. One managed to pick me up and we entered a door that he soon sealed shut with magic and ushered me to go down the tunnel under the keep that led outside the walls of the keep into a forest. It was there the survivors were placed with someone to escape out of the region to where I found myself in Thay to continue my studies. I never saw my family again.

My ambition is to become the greatest wizard the world has seen in generations. My memory is quite good, but I can pretend to be absentminded when it suits the purpose.

COMMENTS

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PaganWitch
05:47 Feb 11 2022

Clever and tricky but the meaning was quite clear on his true mission in life, but he just wouldn't accept the answer he was given and put it to a place of silence

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