The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I was born sickly. Despite my father's wishes my mother took me to the hospital; where I remained for the first 3 years of my life.

As the doctors tried to figure out why my body hated itself, and called out long words. I was treated with Tetracycline which is a broad – spectrum antibiotic. (I had/have the following "fun" stuff if curious please look them up: Hemophilus influenzae, Streptococcus pneumoniae, Mycoplasma pneumoniae, Chlamydia psittaci, Chlamydia trachomatis)…side effect every bone in my body turned yellow. I spent my first three years with doctors with white mask, in a hospital. My mom was not allowed to touch me for fear that she might accidentally give me bacteria. I was in isolation.



I was released. At the age of four I survived sunburn,(second degree burns covered 40% of my body) apparently I became allergic to the sun. (Later on I found out I am also allergic to sunscreen)

At this point in my life, I began to understand I was different, not like the other children.



I am tired dear reader…I will continue later.

I have thought about this...and I think I owe this to myself and to anyone who wants to know me...after all, omision is a type of lie. All I ask is that you don't judge me until you know all the facts...which may take some time. What ever you do, don't pity me. I don't need, nor want it.



My first memory of my father.



I am sitting at the dinner table, eating. My back is to the door. My father walks in, he is upset. He hit's the back of my head..(not that hard...but I wasn't ready for it...not that it's alright...and yes, I still find myself making up excuses). My head snaps forward and hits the plate..I knocked two babyteeth out.



I can not change the past. It has already happened. It has made me who I am. It is now over. But sometimes, when I'm caught off guard I realize, I am still not done working through it.



But one day, I will be done with it.

To dream is the ability to question reality nightly. To probe the darkness of our minds, only to find upon waking that truth has eluded us. Dreams are our unconscious and when you enter it..you suddenly understand.

If you can't feel pain, you aren't going to feel anything else either. And the world if full of pain. Also joy. Evil. Goodness. Horror and love. You name it, it's there. Sealing yourself off is just going through the motions. Get it?!

I do not lie...it diminishes the power of your soul. Everything I put forth is the truth to the very best of my recoloction.

My first memory is wearing a yellow bonnet and mom holding me....and than looking at an old man with pale blue eyes. No white part..just all blue with no pupil. I distictly remember because I never saw eyes like that again.



I asked my mom about it a couple of years ago. She says that it's not possible since that happened when I was about 3months old. That man died soon after. He was distantly related to the family my mom said, but through all the photo albums, and family tree's I have been unable to find anything about him.



My mom said some things are best forgotten.



But I can not...it is my first memory.