The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

You ever get that lost feeling? The one where you don't know what to do, or what direction you're supposed to be headed in? Thats kind of what this is like. That moment where you walk into the kitchen, and forget why you went there in the first place. That moment where you cut off a conversation to do something briefly, and then when you return you forget what you were on about in the first place.



Thats what it feels like when you don't have a goal. I had a goal. I knew where I was going, and why, and perhaps not exactly how to get there - but at least a few roads that led to it. I had it planned. I knew I had to get up and work because it led there. I knew I had to make money because it led there. I knew I had to get in better shape because it led there. It led home.



Not my home. Not exactly. Not the house I grew up in, or the one my parents rent, or the apartment I currently live in. But...Home. The place I belonged. The place I finally felt comfortable.And thought it was far from today, it was possible to grasp.



Was.



I lost it all. What do you do when getting up has no meaning? When you're just moving through your day because you have to? There is a certain point where your mind goes blank enough to just shut down. Your primal self takes over. It moves your body to the rhythm of eating and working and drinking and sleeping. Over and over, a never ending cycle of monotony that you aren't even present to witness. Survival for survival's sake. When what would be your home is ripped from you, along with any semblance of self.



When you give away a part of yourself, be cautious. If you give away half of yourself, its can very well leave you half of a person. So are you a person any longer when you give away all of yourself but the smallest sliver? Possibly. But it doesn't feel like it.



Run And Go by Twenty One Pilots has an interesting chorus.



'Dont wanna call you in the night time

Don't wanna give you all my pieces

Don't wanna hand you all my troubles

Don't wanna give you all my demons

You'll have to watch me struggle

From several rooms away..'



But the part that gets me ends that chorus.



'But tonight, I'll need you to stay.'



Stay classy, VR.