I am so sick and fucking tired of the same shit happening over and over. So, here is the deal. I dont need you. I didnt need you then, I dont need you now. I am fine without you. Feelings can grow, but they can go away too. When you are here with me, I only think that I need you. But, everytime you go away, you take a little piece of me with you, and I dont want you to do that anymore. Two years, two mother fucking years, and nothing is any different now than it was when we first started all of this. I'm sorry that I kept leaving. I'm sorry that I was afraid that I might hurt you, or that we might end up actually feeling what we did. When I was ready to commit, you werent. That time, YOU left. You hurt me more than you will EVER realize. I waited, and I waited, and I waited more. The instant that I found someone that I liked, talked about having a future that wasnt just "tomorrow" with.. you were there, wanting me back. How can you disappear like that and then re-appear like nothing bad ever happened? Then, when I tell you that it will take more than that, you are gone again. Like a ghost that slips in and out of my SOUL. I thought this time was different. We were both single this time. No strings, no games. How do you act like you care so much, and then act like I dont exist? One minute I am your world, the next I am just someone you used to know. You remember that little conversation we had Tuesday night? Five years. Five years, and what? It isnt going to be any different, is it? It isnt going to change. What if that happened NOW? You would run, like everyone else does. Why is it that I am so much younger than everyone else in my life, and yet I am the only one that is willing to take responsibility for my actions, not to mention theirs and yours? Silly me, to think that this would be different.
MORAL : You cant teach an old dog new tricks, so I should have just let sleeping dogs LIE. (pun intended)
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