This dream was about a bad storm we had here not too long ago. He in West Virginia there was a tornado that actually touched the ground. In the Hill country, around Ansted. A safe enough distance from me. But I didnt even know about it until the next morning. Which is why I find the dream a little weird.
Me, Remi, and a group of our friends are all outside our apartment complex, playing foot ball around the play ground when the tornado touches the ground at the bottom of our hill. Right at the beginning of the drive way. It slowly works it way up the hill, up the drive way, fallowing it perfectly. Towards us. We all panic and grab onto the swing set, wraping our arms and legs around it for dear life. The tornado isnt very big so we reason that it wont be able to pick us up anyways. But we hold on just in case. Most of our friends run inside, and leave me and remi outside. we cling to each other around the poll of the swing set. I slip off, and am carried off into the air. I remember looking at Remi, reaching for me, screaming my name, begging me to come back, as if I had a choice.
((Food for thought here. In all my dreams, I am in control, and I always make it so I can fly. In this dream I am neither in control, or able to fly.))
I scream his name, begging him to save me. but in my heart I felt sadness. Sad that we would be separated. Sad that he would be alone after this madness was over. Sad that he would watch me die. Right after I realized I was too high in the air to survive to fall, the tornado simply disappeared. And i plummeted towards the ground. Never once did I take my eyes from him. I stared into his horrified face and told him I loved him. I screamed it loud enough for the world to hear me. I love him. Then I heard, and felt my bones cracking against the pavement. Even in death I still stared at his face.
He ran to me, and held my destroyed body in his arms and wept. Screaming at me. Telling me to come back to him. Begging me to not leave him alone. I tried so hard to make my body move. When he let despair take him, and let my body slump to the cold rain soaked ground, my soul came away from my body too. It fallowed him. I went with him, and fallowed him. Some how I possessed his computer and walked to him. He cried and cried, and I only remember wanting more than anything to hold him, and comfort him, and couldnt. then I woke up.
Me and my boyfriend Remi check into a nice hotel. We're there on business travels. He's some one high up in his company. We check in, everything is nice, REALLY nice. We go swimming in the pool, and then sit in the hot tub for awhile relax, and decide to go back to the room. Right after we walk into the room he changed some how. He's taller now, and thinner. I look at him for a moment, and ask:
"Have you always been taller than me?"
"Yeah, why?" He looks concerned. "Are you feeling alright?"
"Yeah Im fine. Must just be dizzy from the hot tub." He shrugs it off, and we lay down and watch tv for awhile. We end up watching a movie that sparks good memories, and we end up being intimate. Afterwards I look down at him, and again, he's different. His hair is longer. Face more angular than before, eyes a little rounder. I stare at him for a long time, and then I loose control of myself. All my dreams sense I was 6 years old have been lucid dreams. I can control most, if not all of the happenings. Even in the nightmares. I completely loose control of this one. When this happens I hear my self saying:
"I love you babe." He smiles and holds me close and we go to sleep.
In the morning the alarm goes off, but for some reason he wont wake up and turn it off. At first Im annoyed, but then I get concerned. He has to be at a meeting. Thats why we're here. I shake him over and over. (Im kind of in control for this part) I scream at him to get up, that he's going to be late. He wont wake. He's definitely still alive. He's breathing, snoring loudly. Then a thought occurs to me. Remi does NOT snore. Neither does he sleep this deeply. I roll him over to discover my ex fiance. I lose control again. I lean down and kiss him, and he wakes up.
He escorts me to the dining room area of the hotel which is a buffet for some reason, and its open all hours of the day. Non guests can even pay to eat there. For some reason that seemed important when I woke up. We ate. I remember shoving food in my mouth even though I was full already, and feeling sick. My body wouldnt stop, and I couldnt speak to tell him to take my food from me. I kept eating, and kept eating, and I dont know why. When I felt like I might throw up, I woke up, and felt perfectly fine. A little weirded out by the dream, but other then that, fine. Weirder still was that after I laid there for awhile, thinking about the dream, I realized I was hungry. Not full. Not sick. Starving. I dont know what my mind is trying to tell me, but I don't think its anything good.
I have conflicted feelings about my ex. I miss him. His company. The companionship part of our relationship. Not the intimate parts. Not the parts that made it love. At the same time, I have this unbridled rage towards him as well. He put me through hell. Did things to me that murderers and rapists don't even deserve. Made me do things whores wouldn't do. Things that the lowest, most miserable, most desperate criminals wouldn't do. For that I hate him, and want revenge, but I love him for everything else. He's an addictive person to be around on good terms. An unhealthy addiction... Do you know what it means? Please...help me. Im confused. I have suck weird dreams, and this one is rather normal compared to the others, and THAT is what bothers me.
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