You are not a Premium Member and you are blocking ads. You are using Vampire Rave for free. Vampire Rave relies on ads in order to operate. Please disable your Ad Blocker. This can easily be done for Vampire Rave only.
If you are using Chrome, click the red hand button at the top right of the screen:
Then select: Don't run on pages on this site
If you do it correctly, the red hand will turn to green and you will no longer see this message.
If you hate eachother sooooo bad... then IGNORE each other? Or if you think someone is a peado/rapist/slut/skank/whore/ green eyed monkey with ten ears and a nosejob... then block them, nothing you say is gonna make cancer delete anyone. its a WEBSITE. If you think someone is a transgender horse with pig ears... then wooop good for them!!
So sick of logging on here every day and seeing someone being a big badass on their keyboard.
Woah, careful there you might just break a nail. That will hurt your lil walmart stick ons.
And no this is not directed at ONE person, its at all of you.
will the real jynx please stand up..............smiles
08:42 Jan 22 2013 Times Read: 655
I should never of left you both. In doing so, i didn't just break your hearts, i broke my own too.
I don't know what the hell i was thinking, i have no excuse, i was just being a selfish, idiotic, moody brat. Then as the days got further along it got harder to approach you, then the journal saying it would never be the same (your way of trying to pretend you were ok, i see that now, but i didn't at the time) So i shrugged it off and pretended to be ok too. Then stubbornness took over, and well, you know how i get. Too damn stubborn for my own good.
I still checked in on you guys, i still tried to find a million excuses to message you. But it was hard.
I miss you guys.
Luke makes me so happy, like super happy, but there was just a huge hole in my chest everyday, because the two people i wanted to share my life with, i walked away from, and it was the hardest thing i ever did.
I'm sorry i left you both, im sorry it took me so long to come back.
I PROMISE i'm never leaving again. I need you guys as much as you need me.
I love you both, so very much.
Always have, always will.
I am so thankful that you are both back in my life, where you belong... i'd say im glad you are back in my heart... but you never left.
You two, along with my kids and Luke, are my world, my jigsaw pieces and my heart is complete.
Heres what i got to wake up to this morning, how beautiful is this???
Well last night was great. Laid on the sofa, blankets, hot drinks, snow outside... and i introduced Luke to my fav movie ROTFL!!
Yeah.. i made him watch the human centipede pmsl.
His face was priceless :p
I made a snowman with the kids yesterday... its a little anorexic, but don't judge... he just doesn't like big macs hehe.
Me and Luke have had a serious talk, and we have decided to start trying in June, after our vacation, if all goes to plan, we should have a april / may 2014 baby XD so excited.
Never thought id ever want more. Its all just so amazing. I'm super happy. My man loves me, holds me everynight, treats me like a princess, and he is an amazing father figure to my little ones. The other day i had a headache so he went and made Lilly a cup of tea and cuddled with her watching a film so i could have a lil lay down. I love this boy so damn much.
Can't wait to have his child and become his wife.
Life fucking ROCKS!!!!
But on another note... Tabby, you know i loves you, and your text message last night has me super worried, so i dont care wether you message me from your profile, or a secret profile, whatever, just let me know you are ok since you wont respond to texts, im hugely worried about you. Thankyou for the lovely things you said but seriously, when you start talking about how much of an amazing friend i am... i start to worry you are doing something stupid.
Out of every1, YOU have been the one whos been there for me and helped me, specially when i've needed someone and no1 else was around, the last few weeks you have helped me, now its my turn.
people on here only know the asshole you, the troll and the dramaqueen, but they don't know the Tabby i know, the Tabby who cares and listens and helps, and gives amazing advice. You stopped me doing alot of stupid things lately, and kept my head level. I know how much you worry. Now you are worrying me.
So please, even just one ring me so i know that you are ok.
Ya know what, I've kept the fuck out of this drama. Because she is a big girl, shes always been more than fine to handle herself, to handle her shit. But seriously, What the fuck is wrong with you?? Is your life so sad, and pathetic, that the ONLY thing you can do, is pick on a pregnant woman? Are you THAT much of a pussy that the only excitement in your life is to run around and bitch on a girl??
No doubt if it was a man, he would soon knock you back into place, but men like you, they don't go after men do they, they go after women, You are the type of guy whos girlfriend will be cowering in the bedroom corner everynight.
Seriously you are SO boring now. It's nothin to do with me, or anyone else on here but FUCK get a grip and leave her alone.
EVERYONE knows Kaela has a mouth on her... me n her have had one row the 2 years I've known her.. I've seen her fight with people on here, and she ALWAYS holds her own, she never backs down, or asks anyone to help her. But my god! shes PREGNANT! shes carrying a life inside of her, fucking sit the fuck down and pick on someone who can actually knock u down. You can call her all these names, but truth is, if she wasn't pregnant... you would be running.
Thank you Bex for sticking up for me. Yes, I've asked you and several others to stay out of what is going on, but it's gotten to the point that it's far enough. It's sad honestly. I haven't said anything to him or about him in over a month and now that he is living back with his mommy he has nothing else better to do than get online and run his mouth. Which is all it is, running his mouth (well fingers) to put words on a screen as if they hurt me. I know the truth about what is being said, and everyone else knows that Nikkolas Keast is a lying piece of shit. He can run his mouth all day about shit he doesn't even know the first thing about, people will still realize that he is a liar and a pussy. He has two warrants out on him because HE can't obey a court order NOT to contact me. How fucking hard is it to stay away from someone and not talk to them?! I mean fucking eh! He doesn't know his brother's relationships or his life, so he needs to keep his mouth shut. Honestly, I stopped talking shit about Kyle's family, but even his mother condones to Nikk's actions which shows how much of a decent mother she is. Apparently that bitch is a worthless mom just for the mere fact she is allowing her SON to attack a pregnant female who is also have issues with the pregnancy to begin with. Fucking sad. I'd say more on that subject but we won't go there. They have what's coming to them, and they can kiss their chances of EVER seeing Jyllian goodbye. I'm not the type to hold a kid in this, but when it comes to things like this, they set themselves up for it. Karma's a bitch, and they are really about to meet my wrath.
I love how people talk shit about me thinking it wont get back to me. Say it to me. Ty the reason i do not respond to you anymore, is NOT because i no longer talk to Marci, i find it funny how you think you know me. If you paid attention you would of known i havent responded to you, since the time you made her cry. And me and another guy, brooke and someone else, had to BEG her to turn her phone off, so she could have 5mins of peace without you harrassing her and making her cry. No, not cry... sob.
Luke just left for work, so figured i'd come on here for 5 mins or so, before waking up the kids and starting our day.
Luke wants us to wait till he gets home to build a snowman ... i might just do that... so i dont get cold hands lmao.
I'm so happy. No man has EVER compared to how he makes me feel. I don't even feel the need to talk to any of my guy friends anymore. I talk to a few of them, but i just don't see the point, all i care about is my kids, my Luke and my friends here in the UK. And my amazing family.
Lukes brought out the girl in me. Went and brought some new knee high ugg boots, well maybe a inch or 2 below the knee, theyre fluffy around the top and black, so cute and look so good with my skinny jeans :D expensive but worth it :P
Drinking choco lattes and shopping all the damn time..
Think its time to ditch the hoodies,Take out the piercings (even tho hes told me noooo cus he likes to bite my lip rings lol freak) Think im doing that lil thing called growing up...
Or maybe ill wait till after our vacation :P
He calls me his princess... but im no ordinary princess.... im Bexi ;)
It's finally snowing XD proper thick chunky flakes, none of this lil dust we have been getting, and is coming down hard. Sticking to the already frozen grounds. The UK is on amber weather warning alert, expecting up to 20cm of snow by the morning.
Wales has a Red alert, up to 30cm of snow there to come over 3 -6 hours.
Lilly-Mai is sat on a chair by the window, watching the snow falling, talking about snowball fights and giggling to herself, its really cheered her up. She had a bad night last night, 2 injections in her legs so her one leg is bruised, anothers still red and tender with swelling :(. Hardly had any sleep with her crying, felt so helpless.
I'm happy its snowing. :D And my love with be here in a couple of hours snuggling on the sofa, blanket, hot drinks, snow outside and the walking dead.
Well thats my idea, Luke is more excited about making snowmen with me and the kids, big softie.
Feeling so lost tonight. That empty feeling in my chest, only gets bigger, with each minute... sounds a little dramatic doesn't it, But tonight is the first night Luke hasn't stayed over, since the day after Christmas day. I know it sounds silly. Just the thought of not waking up with him in the morning, makes me not wanna go to bed tonight.
He wakes me up every morning, cuddled up to me, telling me he loves me. And it's just the most amazing feeling ever.
I figured he needs to see his friends, he goes to the pub on a monday night but i still think he needs to see more of his friends, so told him that I have alot to do tonight so would be better to stay at his moms. I haven't seen him since he left for work this morning, But he will be here tomorrow night...
Then I wont let his fingers escape mine until the following morning.
The spaces between my fingers, were made for his.
I love being in love.
The butterflies when i see him, when he smiles at me and calls me beautiful. I know i'm never going to feel safe, in anyone elses arms ever again.
This is forever.
This is my New chapter, and my happily ever after....
I know you are only a message away, but its better off this way.
You can't play the innocent victim, i'm not the only one who's hurt someone.
I didn't apologise for having a life, i apologised for leaving. The way i did.
I'm happy, if i was unhappy then yeah i'd be online all the time, but i'm not, i'd rather lay with my man and him hold me tight while watching movies than sat n the internet. I'm not sorry for being happy, and not putting everyone else before him. He is my life, I'm sure when hes there with you, you will want to spend more time with him rather than sitting online ignoring him. But then again you may not. But for me, He's more important to me than the net, i want to give him all my attention. No1 has ever made me and my kids as happy as he does.
I never said i want things to go back, i don't want them to, you aren't the only one who lost trust.
I do miss you, and i do love you, and you will ALWAYS be my mommi.
I just said sorry for hurting you, not that i want it all back.
Luke keeps me going, luke holds me together, He is my life. Vr doesn't even come into this equasion
I wish you and Alaina the best in life, and when Chris is home, you 3 can start living your perfect little family life together.
Just like how i am right now.
Yes i miss telling u news, and when it comes down to me being pregnant, you are gonna be the first person i will want to tell. But it wont ever be like that again. And i never expected it to.
As i said my journal is where i write down my shit. Wether you read it or not, doesn't come into it. It's just better for me to write it here than lock it up.
Truth is, between my kids and Luke and my friends here. I don't have time for VR or skype. My life is good. I'm in love, i get treated like a princess, i wake up everyday with a kiss on my forhead and cuddles from the man i love.
What more could i ever need?
The previous journal, was a nicer goodbye, a proper goodbye, and how i feel.
I love you, I miss you, but there's nothing to get back anymore.
Whenever I needed someone, You were the first person I would message. Whenever I had something going on, you would be my first thought. Whenever I was hurting, you made me better. The only reason I know what time it is over there, Is cus i spent so much time checking the clocks, To see if it was almost time for either of you to get online.
When I was happy, I'd gush to you, and you would giggle at me, If something awesome happened I'd be itching for you to wake up to tell you. When I knew you were due a letter from him, I'd sit waiting for you to call me to read them to me, so i could hear the smiles in your voice. Or listening to one of your everlasting politics rants, me n her giggling when you started, knowing we had to hear it, even if we didn't wanna.
When i fucked up, you both would tell me how it was, even if I didn't like it. Yell at me and call me Rebecca, But i could never be mad, or miffed at you, How could I be, with my fav southern accent when you get mad. Or that stupid grin i love so much on you drunken pirate face.
Now, when I have news, or i need to gush, or talk to someone, all I have is this journal. There's no one left, cus I pushed the TWO most important people in my life away.
A regret I'll live with, forever.
You Both fixed me, so many times. And i walked away when you needed me the most.
I can never forgive myself for that, so i can never expect you to forgive me.
So all i can say is, I love you, both, I miss you Both, and I'm sorry.
new page done for coven - ACMs of the horde :) quite basic but im pleased with it :)
I pointed out to zombie about him havin only female ACMs n his response was This
On 15:07:02 Jan 13 2013 (-0 GMT) VRsZombie wrote:
There is a reason for that ya know...
Males are too easily swayed by females and their opinions. Females (the ones I have chosen anyway) are not so easily swayed by males or other females.
This right there is why we loves u B :) the best zombeh and CM on vampire rave :) you rock :)
On another note my life is still fantastic :) we booked our vacation for 10th - 17th may, me Luke n the kids n my sis her fiancé and kids :) can't wait to hit the beach :)
Luke's practically moved in now :) planning our future, which may involve planning a new addition after our vacation ;) anyone who knows me properly will be majorly shocked, as I never ever ever wanted anymore kids, but the more we talk about it the more we want this, a fair few months away yet. But who knows, this time next year I could be moaning about the joys of pregnancy lol ;)
Sat here, cuddling with my man, and i get a msg on my phone 'you are being requested to get on skype by ****" to discuss VR drama that i TOLD you. IM.NOT.GETTING.INVOLVED.IN.
I do not care if you do not like that i am friends with Kaela, I'm sure Kaela doesn't like that I'm friends with you 'Reaper' but she doesn't tell me not to talk to you, or try to cause drama to make me fall out with you.
If you don't like it, then you ain't as good of a friend as you claim to be.
I have my OWN mind, i do not give a fuck if someone else doesn't like that I'm talking to this or that person, i make my own decisions, my own choices, and no1 will manipulate me.
I love Kaela to PIECES and i always will. She had more respect for me last night by refusing to have any drama in my cam.
You wanna be my friend. Cool, awesome, i am a friend. Try and manipulate me, then you may as well go to the lil red button and click it.
Oh and another thing. If anyone wants to 'request me' while im spending time with my extremely hot and amazing boyfriend....
all you will get is a big fat
Soon as i close down my laptop, you lot don't exist. Unless you actually wanna have a conversation, that doesn't involve drama ~snorts~ Then don't bother messaging my phone. Cus you will be ignored :)
My time with Luke is far more important than listening to drama, specially when i tell BOTH parties, i don't wanna hear it.
On another note.... i love my life right now :D
This is what i got to look at first thing this morning...
Me and Luke were laying in bed a few night ago, and a song came on and he lay there singing it to me, and ever since that night, he tells me to listen to the words everyday.
Ok its One Direction but meh i think its kinda cute.
I never thought my life would be so amazing as it is right now. Everyday, i wake up with his arms around me, his smile, his eyes, him kissing my forehead as i lay on his chest listening to his heartbeat, its the most amazing feeling i've EVER had. Nothing is ever going to compare to him. Not even close. And i know he loves me just as much, the sparkle in his eyes, the huge smile on his face. The kids adore him. He got back yesterday and they ran and hug tackled him lol, and the smile didn't move from his face all night long.
This is my turn to be in love, to be loved, and to be blissfully happy.
I'll marry this man one day ♥
"Little Things"
Your hand fits in mine
Like it's made just for me
But bear this in mind
It was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved
The crinkles by your eyes
When you smile
You've never loved
Your stomach or your thighs,
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do
It's you
Oh, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
And maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved
The sound of your voice on tape
You never want
To know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true
It's you,
It's you they add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things
You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right, darling, but I want you to.
If I let you know I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you, oh.
And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
'Cause it's you,
Oh, it's you,
It's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you
And all these little things
[All]
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
Within 2 minuties of me coming to your coven, and expecting you to not want me to stay, you made me acm and marked me, Thankyou for trusting me so much.
You've shown more trust to me in the last 48 hours than some people i thought loved me.
I'm so happy to be in the horde. You and Spooky are all the vr family i need right now :D
♥
Time to wake the Dead ;)
Today is 4 years since my wonderful, beautiful nan passed away. The pain never ever gets any better. I love her so much more everyday, i wish i could speak to her. Wish she could see how grown up and happy bradley is, i wish she could of met my Lilly, she would of adored her. But she passed 2 days after she was born. I wish she could see how happy i am finally, how Luke puts a neverending smile on my face, How my life has changed. I love you Nan, never forgotten. ♥
Just because we are not talking, doesn't mean i no longer Love you Kevin. I'll always love you. You kept me going, so many times. And i will NEVER ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever forget that. My bestest friend in the whole world. Just can't let u be 'piggy in the middle' anymore, and someone needs you... more than i do. Don't get me wrong, its not a light decision, and it hurts me more than you think. But I've never been stronger than i am right now... someone needs you, she's a tough cookie, but she is broken and has been for a long time. Keep her strong till hes home. I'm always only a text away Kev. ♥ i love ya.
New coven, Excited for the things i've got planned to wake it up ~evils grins at B~
Time to cast out the people who doubt me. For nothing. The amount of times I've been there for people. Thru their boring ass crap.
When i need someone? their problems are always FAR worse. Like you didn't KNOW the situation you was getting yourself into before you went into it. But we still sat there, while you cried over it anyway, while others abandoned you.
Where was i the day you freaked out? encouraging you, or the day he went back, or when he was moved? or every single bad thing??
where was you the day i was upset cus it was the anniversairy of my baby dying? moaning. Where was you new years day... the day of it being a year since Natalie's death? i don't think you even spoke to me that day.
You are too wrapped up in your own problems, you pretend to care. But the fact is...
The best kind of kiss is the unexpected, unplanned
ones that come naturally
like in the middle of a
sentence...
My life has changed so much. I haven't really had chance to sit back and take a look. Every morning, i wake up in his arms, and I've never, ever, felt so complete. He makes me smile, like, REALLY smile, He calls me his Smiler, and i can't help it. I only have to think about him, and i feel untouchable, even typing this, i have a HUGE grin. I can't remember a time that a guy has made me feel this way. I fall asleep in his arms every night, and i wake up to his Kiss, and his arms wrapped around me. Keeping me safe.
I love him, so much. And I'm never going to want anything else. Everytime i look into his eyes, i fall deeper in love with him. He smiles at me, and tells me he loves me, and my heart skips. I will never want anyone the way i want him. I walked away 6 years ago, and I'm never walking again.
Hes my heart, my soul, my love, my best friend, my soul mate and my last piece of my puzzle.
"Love is looking into his eyes && forgetting about the world around you, It's feeling his kiss hours after he's gone, It's seeing perfection when he's standing beside you, && realizing every moment he's not with you is too long."
COMMENTS
-
Vampirewitch39
18:53 Jan 28 2013
*claps* Well said.
VRsCrawlingDead1
18:55 Jan 28 2013
AMEN SISTER!!!
Intoxicating
18:56 Jan 28 2013
nice bexi
supernova
19:35 Jan 28 2013
No fuckn shit. Who dafuk cares? Agrees wif ya.
deathnitegrl
20:57 Jan 28 2013
But, but there is nothing on the tele!
teetee
21:13 Jan 28 2013
will the real jynx please stand up..............smiles