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Been having a lot of nosebleeds today so that sucks.

So the night my father passed away I was playing Minecraft on ps3 right before we got the call and to be honest I still can't bring myself to finish that house in that world. It's like that world has been put on hold indefinitely. I know it's silly and I know it's weird but I can't bring myself to go to that world. I've started others since and I've gone back to my other worlds no problem but I can't go to that one and whenever I see the name of that world I still get a little sad inside.

I just got back from spending the best three weeks of my life in California with the most amazing girl you could ever meet. I've had a rough year so far with losing my father and dealing with my anxiety issues and to finally have something turn out awesome feels great. I forgot what it feels like to be cared about and to feel truly loved. I'd forgotten what it felt like to be normal and to not feel stressed or anxious all the time. To fall asleep and not wake up feeling like my world was broken is one of the best feelings you could ever ask for. I've only been back for one full day but I miss her already. I miss the smell of her hair. Her laugh. Her smile. The way she looks at me when I say stupid random stuff. Her snoring and her little sigh when she gets annoyed at Pokemon. I miss the way she holds the steering wheel when she drives and the way she holds a fork. I miss watching her watch The Big Bang Theory and the way her hand feels in mine. I miss eating dinner and not feeling awkward when she looks in my general direction like I do when everyone else looks at me. I miss feeling completed and whole and calm. I miss feeling calm. I miss her. I miss you. You are the best thing in my life. You are the root that my tree of comfort grows from and takes its nutrients from. Every smile that crossed my face is because of you. You are my world. You complete my circle. I need your love like I need my blood. I love you more than I could ever express in words. I hope I gave you half the amazing feelings you gave me because if i can do that then you'll have an idea of how much I appreciate you. You are my soulmate. From the bottom of my heart and soul I want to say thank you. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for being patient with me and for loving me for every weird flaw I have. Thank you for reminding me what it feels like to function in a positive environment. Thank you for making me feel welcome and loved and important. Thank you for everything. Thank you so much. You are an amazing person. You are magnificent and excellent and great and awesome and outstanding and a million and one other positive descriptive words lol. I love you. Thank you for giving me my humanity back. I love you!