The importance of July 8, 201107:01 Jul 08 2011
Times Read: 668
Today is my girl and mine’s 5 year anniversary. It’s a happy day for me. Not as happy as it could be but a happy day none the less. There’s a bunch of stuff I wanted to tell her on the phone today but she’s not in the best of moods and so I’ll just type it here so she can read it once she’s “super fucking bored” enough to check out my journal. It might be a long one as I’m not going to limit myself at all. I’m going to get a lot of stuff out and so keep that in mind. Lets dive in.
Five years ago today. Five years since we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We’ve been through a lot together. Smiled together, laughed together, told stories together, cried together, and fought each other like cats and dogs on more then one occasion. I wouldn’t trade these last five years with you for anything. I wouldn’t give up the smiles, the laughs, the stories, the jokes, the tears or the fights. I wouldn’t give up everything we’ve learned and all the things we’ve experienced together for anything. Not for any amount of cash or any prized possession. I like being with you. I enjoy being your man. I enjoy spending time with you and I’m grateful we’ve lasted as long as we have. We’ve both changed a lot contrary to what you seem to believe and while I disagree with you about “nothing changing” I respect your feelings on it. We’ve both grown up a lot. We’ve both learned to put others before ourselves and we’ve both learned the limitlessness of love and how love has no distance. We’ve learned to work together, work apart on ourselves and then together again on us as a whole. We’ve grown together closer then ever and we’ve also worked out some problems that most couples never last long enough to work through. You’ve helped me through hard times and I’ve helped you through hard times. You’ve picked me up when I’ve fallen down and I’ve picked you up. You’ve nursed me back to health when I’ve been sick and I’ve cured countless headaches with simple temple rubbing. I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, you’re not here so it doesn’t really count” and all that jazz but to me it does. Distance doesn’t stifle my love for you. Distance doesn’t distill it and distance won’t defeat it.
We’ve had a lot of good times. Heart shaped names in the sand, Penis sofas, George Bush’s llamas and crazy black guy jokes. We’ve had heartfelt conversations about our dreams and our goals. We’ve watched the sun come up and listened to each other sleep while laying in each others arms. We’ve kissed away tears and crushed every single doubt the world could ever have on us. We’ve out lasted all the nay says and here says. We’ve conquered our own jealousy and our own arrogance only to let them fall back into place so we can do it all over again. We’ve slain personal demons and we’ve bested the giants of heartache. I’ve cried over you and you’ve cried over me. We’ve fought until we broke up only to figure out just how much we mean to one another and the reasons why we worked it all out and are stronger then ever. Five years of happiness for me anyway. Regardless of all the headaches and heart pains, laughter stitches and hoarse voices from talking 14 hours on the phone. We’ve done it all, said it all, and felt it all. And every single day I’ve experienced with you is a day I’d never give away.
I’ve made some bad decisions in life. We both have. I’ve fucked up many times and so have you. I’ve hurt you and you’ve hurt me. We fight and fight sometimes and other times we’re closer then the left hand is to the right. I rely on you and you rely on me. You may not want to admit what we’ve accomplished but I sure will. I’ve honestly found my soul mate with you. I know that in my heart. When a werewolf imprints on someone they just know. They know in their soul and in their heart that they want nothing to do with anyone else in the whole entire planet but that single person. They know in their minds that nothing will ever change that and nothing will ever come between them. Looks mean nothing to the imprinted. Flaws, emotional or psychological mean nothing. I don’t see yours. I know “You always point them out” but I don’t point them out as flaws. Or rather I don’t mean to. I mean to point them out partially so you see I realize everything about you and partially so you can work on doing your part for us. As annoyed as I sound when you say to me “you’re being a dick” I’m happy because I know you want me to help us just as much as I want you to help us. But more then that, I want you happy. That’s what I want more then anything. To see you smile. To hear your laugh, To watch your eyes light up the moment your lips start to twitch.
I love you. More then I’ve ever loved anyone else. More then I thought was possible for anyone to love anyone or anything. More then anyone ever will love anyone else. I love you with my complete heart and my entire soul. My love for you is like the universe. Vast and unexplored. There’s no end to the love I have for you because every day I love you more then the day before. Cliché yet entirely true. More so even then the green grass or the blue sky. As my sun and my moon my world needs you to continue on. I’m not too manly to say I need you. I need the light you bring into my world. The warmth of your arms around me. The feathery touch of your lips on mine and while you worry about this cursed distance I worry more about being the best possible boyfriend and husband I can be because I want to spend the rest of my entire life with you. I want to wake up every morning to the smell of your hair. I want to come home every night to the embrace of your arms. I want to fall asleep every evening with your body against mine and I want to dream the dream of the Gods for I cannot be happier as long as I have you. We’ve been through so much. We’ll go through so much more. You’ve changed, baby and so have I.
Five years is a long time and we are NOT the same people we were. You say nothing has changed? Everything has changed. We have changed. Us has changed and our future has changed. We’re not the same people we were five years ago. This relationship isn’t the same as it was five years ago and us as a unit isn’t the same as it was five years ago. A fire burns so brightly in my heart in the shape of your name sometimes I can feel it searing and melting every fiber of my beating heart. Molding every single inch of my soul into something new and different from what I was when I first met you. No longer do I care just about myself. No longer do I want only my happiness. I want your happiness. That’s why I’m going to continue to be the best I can possibly be. To work on everything I said I would and to remember every day just why I call you my soul mate. Without you, my live is half lived and incomplete. I love you so much. I really do. You’re my everything. My angel face. My lover, my soul mate, my wife and my friend. But more importantly then all of those? You’re my partner in life. The very best partner anyone could ask for. I wouldn’t trade you for anyone. Thank you for spending the last five years of your life with me and here’s to many many many more. I love you and I missed you today. Happy anniversary my soul mate. Xoxoxoxoxo
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