THIS JOURNAL IS ON 138 FAVORITE JOURNAL LISTSHonor: 174 [ Give / Take ]
13 entries this month
00:12 Aug 30 2011
Times Read: 760
He's cooking steak and ale pie tonight. Hands up if you're jealous!
23:26 Aug 27 2011
Times Read: 781
Read an old entry in Deity's fitness journal. Now I want fish tacos. (Shut up, birra!)
Staaaaaabb...guess what you're cooking tomorrow night.
Yeah, tomorrow. We have to work a charity event tonight. I'll be drooling over fish tacos all night. (Shut up, birra!)
PRIVATE ENTRY
04:09 Aug 19 2011
Times Read: 796
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
21:40 Aug 14 2011
Times Read: 835
Morri posted some beautiful photos in her journal. They made me smile, as did Requiem's comment. I suddenly had the delightful image of God waking early each morning to use His Bedazzler on a sleeping world.
22:31 Aug 11 2011
Times Read: 860
Sometimes I just don't understand. Is it a rule for everyone or not?
21:09 Aug 11 2011
Times Read: 869
Sponsor Morri in the Dirty Girl race to benefit breast cancer.
She will be covered in mud. There will be pictures. Boobies will be saved.
It's a win-win-win! And did I mention, when you click the link...you get to see boobs. But it's nowhere as cool as the picture you see when your donation is received. Go! Do eet! You know you wanna. All the cool kids are doing it!
Here's her linky-poo!
Sponsor Morri
20:47 Aug 11 2011
Times Read: 873
Thank you, Requiem. I now have a new euphemism for sex.
"Yeah, yeah...I KNOW you guys kissed, but did he find Waldo?"
04:02 Aug 07 2011
Times Read: 941
My amazing husband converting a dog pen into a chinchilla playpen! He's so handy...and a complete pushover for the pets. Now Chilla can come downstairs and hang out with us.
23:04 Aug 06 2011
Times Read: 961
This is the modern woman's dream! From the past. From the perspective, undoubtedly, of a man. From the past.
23:28 Aug 05 2011
Times Read: 989
Tattoo for a true gentleman. Just imagine how impressed the ladies will be when you strut it in nothing but this tat and your best cowboy boots!
The heart is extra. I drew it in to protect your delicate sensibilities. I love you THAT much...enough to paint out a stranger's pubes.
Ladies, your man will never have to ask you to "wear something sexy" for him again.
03:50 Aug 05 2011
Times Read: 1,013
Happily singing along to "Lean on Me" in the car. I sing half a verse:
"We all need somebody"
I pause and wait for Stabb to finish the line...he does:
"To pee-ee on."
So then, we're laughing and singing loudly together while we drive home:
"I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to pee-ee on
Lean on me, when urine's not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to pee-ee on!"
I felt 12 years old again! The dumbest things can be so fun when you do them with someone you love.
:)
Deep Thoughts by Joli17:07 Aug 04 2011
Times Read: 1,044
I was wondering...
Does Sahahria get all pumped up and competitive like Rocky and the "Eye of the Tiger" whenever she hears someone sing "Row, row, row your boat?" Cuz that would be pretty cool.
You could just scratch out 00:16 Aug 04 2011
Times Read: 1,094
OK all you pervy people whose journals I read...you saved the day! As some of you know, I work for a food bank and emergency center. To pay our overhead, we have a Thrift Shop.
My donations clerk called me over to look at a donation they had checked and were about to sell: "It's really creepy. When you plug it in...listen."
I hear a crackling sound.
"It glows." Mr **** checked it and wrote on the tag, 'glass rods get very hot.'
Uh oh. I walk over to the box and see 3 glass attachments: one looks like a glass comb, one looks like a finger-sized plunger/shallow bell shape, and one is a long rod. So I ask, "Does it get blue when it glows?"
"Yes! It glows bright blue! We were trying to figure out what it could be." (While saying all this, she's handling the attachments and touching everything.)
"Stop touching it!"
"Why?"
"It's a sex toy."
"WHAT?!"
Oh God, we're a ministry and I have to explain this.
"Um, people use it to kinda shock each other...electricity play for erotic pleasure." (Oh god.)
"You have to be kidding.
Oh god.
*Washes her hands* Here it comes... *sideways look*
"How do YOU know? I've heard of a lot of things but I never heard of this."
"I read about it somewhere."
"Uh huh."
......
Somebody donated a used violet wand to a ministry. I looked it up...it sells retail for $299. We can't sell it.
It kinda begs the question, though...WHY did they donate it? Did it not work up to par? Was there an unfortunate accident? OR...was it accidentally donated? Someone's mom cleaned their room and didn't know what it was. That happens all the time. "My mom donated my green purse by mistake. Do you still have it?"
Are we gonna get a call? "My mom donated my...it's kind of like a curling iron but it glows blue and... um...
I'm just going to say that the inside of the case was lined with a dark fabric that was no longer...pristine. My donations clerks had handled all of it. They are Lady McBething on the antibacterial soap.
The funniest part is this, though...I came in and identified that item 20 seconds before it was tagged to go onto our Thrift Shop floor as: "an electric hair and scalp stimulator." Can't you just picture the little old ladies who would consider it for their sexy bald hunnies? Can you see them laying their little handbags and umbrellas on the table to plug it in to test it? I can! Ah...good stuff :)
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COMMENTS
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Vampirewitch39
00:41 Aug 30 2011
I don't know what ale pie is but... Steak mmmmm.
*hand goes up*
Deity
00:47 Aug 30 2011
Aw, he's so fabulous!
Requiem
01:05 Aug 30 2011
Both hands and feet are wiggling in the air.
ThreeOfCups
03:36 Aug 30 2011
Is that pie made with beer? Only a guy would do that!
PAGAN
08:31 Aug 30 2011
steak and ale pie, how terribly British.
*hands up* I'm jealous :P
Joli
15:27 Aug 30 2011
Yes, he made it with Guiness and it had a pastry top. The gravy inside was so good that it was probably illegal. Served with mashed potatoes and a parsnip puree'. He's amazing :)
BLOODLIFE
20:26 Aug 30 2011
He's killing you with love and it must be so easy ;-)
meeper
03:02 Sep 06 2011
Not going to lie....I feel a bit envious.
RedQueen
01:50 Sep 07 2011
want. RECIPE. please. make him give it to me...lol