My therapist told me to take control of the situation-ship. Instead to waiting on him to text/call, and then reading into every response times a million. Why don't I ask, in explicit and crude words, to see him? My therapist says it's okay to be doing what I'm doing as long as I understand he's not "the one." We started working on a list of attributes of "the one" so I know who does not exactly qualify.
I was neither explicit nor crude in my text to the situation, but I threw in an eggplant emoji for spice, and he was like come over today. Right now. The most direct he's ever been with me, by the way. And while I had a great time if you know what I mean, I'm feeling hollow today. Empty. Confused.
My homework was also to sign up for dating apps. I made a profile, and instantly started getting likes and messages, and people telling me I'm pretty.
And now I'm feeling overwhelmed. Like how does one even choose who to respond to? And what do you do when someone doesn't respond to your response to there message? And what is the etiquette for I just don't feel like chatting anymore today? I'd rather crochet, watch tv, and pretend I do not exist.
So my situation-ship texted me this morning, but it was during my work class exam, so I couldn't reply until 2 hours later. I haven't heard anything since. I honestly thought he was done with me. I guess he will be done when I tell him I have an anxiety disorder. Maybe I should be done. What am I supposed to want or do?
COMMENTS
Seeing the below journal post- "I stop expressing my feelings" Faking it, in your own words, why you feel so alone. Follow your heart. Blessing sent it works out for you.
The diagnosis: Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I feel like this explains a lot. Over the years, I've grown so used to hearing "Stop worrying, there is nothing to worry about." So as a response, I just stopped expressing my feelings and I just pretend to be fine/happy all of the time. This way, I do not burden my family and friends with my "non-existent" problems. Maybe that is why I've always felt so lonely, even when I'm not.
2 sessions into therapy. Feeling pretty good about it.
COMMENTS
Good for you! It took a lot to finally work up to going to therapy and it has helped me so much. I wish you luck in your healing.
I did wind up going to see the situation on Tuesday, and haven't heard from him since. I texted him today, and he replies...5 hours later. And now I'm like, the question I asked irrelevant. But ok, whatever.
COMMENTS
-