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Well my journal has suffered as the direct result of BOGGLED!



but in other news - my favor score is much higher!

As you know a lot of people make mistakes in their past...especially when they are young, foolish, ignorant kids.



So what gives with people from that time period in someone's life not being forgiving or mature enough to recognize that and accept a hand offered in friendship?



Maybe it is just Mercury retrograde in Cancer making me a bit more introspective than usual but I cannot believe the idiocy and immaturity of people who are supposedly grown ups.

there is really something that I want to get off my mind.



When I was new to VR another member here attempted to slander me because he thought that I was trying to be his girlfriend or something. I am not going to rehash that whole thing - those of you who know, know it all and those of you who don't well it is past and was a sad, sordid learning experience.



This is what I want to say about that though.



I really think that the whole situation cast me in a sort of bad light to several members here and for that I feel a bit of regret. They are friends of this person and that is totally their right. The opinion I hold and that of some others should not dictate what they think and I would be the last to tell them who they can or can not like. So that being said, I just feel that my whole personality was blotted out by that whole 'episode'. Which is sad.



I was planning to leave my home country for the first time in my life leaving behind my wonderful daughter and my family...not to mention my cats - to get a PhD in a country that I have dreamed of since I was a small child. Being an ancestral witch I knew I was being called here for a reason - but still - I am a freaking human being and it was terrifying. I was trying to reach out to people over here to establish friendships so that I at least "knew" some people before I left. And in that regard, I was quite successful so I didn't feel so alone when I met Deadman13, nightvision, Nianna, bottomofthefoodchain, and Altair in London and then several other web friends from different sites in Glasgow. This one person out of them all decided to act like a jerk and I retaliated - that was my first mistake. Then the whole thing became a sort-of 'one-up' war in our journals (I won, by the way - lol - [hey - we gotta laugh about it now - and I did win - but I am a wordsmith and storyteller and that translates better to journals than random musings in an online war of words honestly]. God I digress so well...what a professor...



Anyhoo - I just feel that the whole episode sort of kept people here from seeing the true person. Not just the war of words with this former member (whom I btw called and apologized to not too long after I arrived in Aberdeen - I can be bigger than the shit I deal out folks and we were awfully cruel to each other - especially me [edit: thanks to Daire for helping me get a grip on this crap back then - I love Daire because he called me on my antics and besides, he is a GREAT, understanding and simply awesome guy!]).



But it wasn't just that - it was the whole stress of my life changing and being scared of it.



Why do we do this to ourselves? I mean come on, I just got my MLitt in History and am now on my PhD and have the most wonderful man in my life that I couldn't dream of being more loved by...AND he is a Scot! I love Scotsmen. I am mainly Scottish in heritage so it makes sense.



Things have come around - I hope that many of you realize that and can accept my sincere apology for my newbie behavior, my asshole stupidity and realize that we all make mistakes sometimes.



Now let's get on to better things, shall we?