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When I woke up this morning to a significant lack of sun shining through my windows, I realised something: the days are getting shorter again!



According to pagan beliefs as well as old time "farmer's almanacs", once you hear cicadas, your region has about ninety days before the first frost of the year. Yeah, well I first heard the cicadas on July 4th.



Fuck!



Yeah, the realisation that the days are getting shorter, and that we are actually moving to the colder part of the year, had me depressed all day.



I have to say, considering my dependency on the sun, my need for bright warmth, and my desire to spend as much time as possible outdoors enjoying both, I'm afraid that I won't survive another winter alone.



Yep, it's the same old needing someone to be my reason to persevere.



Now, I know that I'm supposed to view the coming winter as the emergence of the Crone, leading to the death and rebirth of the Goddess as the Spring Maiden, but damn me if I'm not still a seasonal depressant.



I most certainly need to continue my studies throughout the year, as spending time with pen, book and candle bring me that sense of peace and happiness I never got from the christian church or from reading their bible.



And I MUST find someone to share my life with, someone who can add to my happiness rather than detract or sabotage it.



In the mean time, I need to lie sleeping as quietly as the sun tonight. Tomorrow, my best friend will shine down on me once again. (HA! References to TWO songs this time)

Sitting outside with a nice fire burning bright in my wood stove, listening to Albinoni, In This Moment, Therion, and the Prague Symphony Orchestra, a soundtrack rivalled only by the tree frogs and crickets.



I'm in a decent mood, but cannot get past the fact that I'm sitting here alone...



Is there no one out there who enjoys a night like this as much as I do? Is there no one else who can appreciate falling asleep on the porch swing next to a warm fire?



Oh well. For now, I must be stingy and keep this moment all to myself...

Fricking medication causing me unfettered horniness!



I'm on the verge of grabbing the next yummer I see, and viciously hugging, kissing, nibbling and biting her. In various places. With or without consent. One can only object so long while being nibbled in delightful locations, right?



I'm craving the feeling of my arms around someone from behind, maybe a hand curled around her throat, the taste of her flesh exciting me further, the smell of her sweet arousal filling my lungs...



Fuck this! I need someone who's as sick in the head as I obviously am.