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So I'm sitting here at the library and this woman sitting at a computer across from, who looks to be in her forties keeps doing weird things with her mouth. all of a sudden she reaches up and pulls out a some false teeth, examines them, then picks some food out of them... and here's the icky part... proceeds to stick said food back in mouth before reinserting false teeth. *vomit*



Here's what I'm wondering if the teeth are false how did she know she had food stuck in them?

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AlexandraAshes
23:34 Mar 31 2010

Possibly she could feel it with her tongue, or it could have been lodged between the dentures and her gum...Numerous possibilities.

When you have dentures you still have feeling in your gums and tongue.



And the piece was already in her mouth...where would you prefer she dispose of it? On the table?

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Vampirewitch39
23:57 Mar 31 2010

Uhh.. trash? :)

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Sinora
11:27 Apr 01 2010

Yea...ewwwwwww.

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I watched a documentary called "Born in the Brothels" this morning. Interesting because I've been contemplating home schooling my son lately, and a lot of the books I've read on the subject consider the US policy of compulsory public education to be an infringement on the rights of a parent to educate their children as they see fit, but then I watch this documentary on a country without compulsory education policies or social services for children and there are children being forced into prostitution by their own parents rather than being sent to school. Some parents don’t deserve the right to decide their children’s fate. Is there no happy medium? Can we take care of everybody without hurting anybody? It breaks my heart to think of children going hungry, sick, and afraid. I try to believe in the good in everyone but I see stuff like this and realize that it is unwise to disregard the potential for evil in us all as well.



My heart is a little bit broken... there is so much that is wrong in this world, how can one ever expect to find joy or peace?

Stayed up all night reading an excellent book. "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls, kind of reminded me of the way I grew up only you could say there was a bit less love and respect in my family.



Anyway I don't do sleep deprived with quite the same flair as i did as a kid, I'm a bit of a useless wreck today.



*curls up with journal and falls asleep*

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PandorasBx
19:22 Mar 27 2010

Hahaha! I know that all too well *thinks fondly of my invincible youth*.

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The sun is playing peek-a-boo from behind the clouds today, something I find utterly delightful. I've been watching movies and reading books like crazy, something I would like to point out is a form of working for a writer... or at least that's what I keep telling myself. As much as I rely on a computer for the production of prose I'm coming to realize what a distraction it was as well. With no computer at home and having to use the public libraries computer I'm more productive creatively than I've been in awhile. I guess that just goes to show what a procrastinator I am.



Yes this is another freewriting exercise. It worked so well for me yesterday that i decided to skip the mental headbanging and aimless staring and jump write in with some free writing warm up in my lovely little VR journal. So here I sit spewing my mental vomit all over the computer screen for the happless VR reader to slip and fall in. Nice of me, huh?



I'm excited my sister is coming back from Iraq soon and scared as well, I've been using her car while she was gone and now I have to get down to the business of idebting myself with another car loan sometime before she gets home. *YIKES* Just that is motivation enough to get me to quit screwing around and get to work.



Time to make some money, honey. :-p

structure and productive habits, sturcture and productive habits, structure and productive habits. maybe if I repeat it often enough it will sink in. I'm supposed to be working on a project and my mind is blank. Blank, blank, blank, so i'm here to induldge in a little bit of exhibitionist free writing. Spending no less than two minutes writing anything and everything that pops into my twisted little mind and posting it in my rarely viewed journal for an innocent bystander to accidently read and consequently risk the possibility of second hand contamination from the disease that is my mind. Ok that sounded stupid. But it's a free writing exercise and what can i do, there is no editing allowed, no backspace, no spellcheck... just me and my fingers tapping away for a few minutes in an attempt to get the creative juices flowing.



I tried this the other night as well, it came out so much better. I wrote this scary twisted little piece about being trapped within a cube made of paper, only being so weak from the thought of being trapped that one couldn't find the energy to just break through the paper. No such strokes of genious and prose today. What ever shall I do. Maybe when this is over I'll go read some of my favorite journals, who knows what inspiration I might find there.

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DireConsequences
02:52 Mar 25 2010

One tip I have that may help you is to keep a small notebook with you at all times... when you think of something, even a word, write it down.



It doesn't matter if it makes sense or anything else. I do it a lot in my journal that's handwritten.



:-)



I also use my handwritten journal as a scrapbooking type deal. It's awesome. I'll take pictures or something and let you see the pages where I was talking about my best friend, Courtney who passed away in February. It allows me to express my thoughts whether I can really comprehend them or not.



Oh and that twisted piece sounds really interesting... and I feel like I can relate to it on most days.



I think I'm getting better though. I'm pretty sure I'm getting somewhat better.

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In case you're wondering, I've chosen to try, try again. One can only fail so much before finally suceeding... right?

I've been offered a regular writing gig, I should be jumping for joy, but I know myself too well. Between the bi-polar II, Adult ADD and Lupus... well, let's just say I've been down this road before and failed. Who's to say anything will be different this time. Sure I'll start out all hot to trot but it won't take long before I get too tired, too overwhelmed and then I'll just shut down and quit, giving myself one more reason to beat myself up. But then again, I believe the saying goes something like this "Perseverance - Fall down seven times, get up eight"



So option one - try, try again; option two - can't quit if I don't start.



Hmmm... I guess I already know the one I should pick.

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Vampirewitch39
21:54 Mar 19 2010

Maybe it would work if it was part time? Ok... I will leave the cracked out kitty alone now.



*leaves cat nip*

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PandorasBx
12:04 Mar 25 2010

Writing to me would be so difficult. I mean, how can you have inspiration 24 hours a day, surely it would be sporadic at best? Ehhhh, what do I know, nada.

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I'm moving forward one step at a time, because really what else is there to do. We can sit and stagnate, I suppose that is a choice, but I prefer to keep moving, even when I'm bone tired. If I could live my dream it would be like this.



Eat what I want and never have to worry about it. Read as much as I want and never have to attend to real life, watch as many movies as i want and only visit reality if there is something very intersting happen, and at the same time make a million dollars, keep an immaculate home, and raise a great kid.



I just love fantasies.

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Bones
03:07 Mar 10 2010

Don't forget to jump in a few puddles along the way, just for fun! ;P

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Dear Journal,



Resolving the computer situation is taking longer than expected, but I miss you all the same. While my days are spent in a much more productive fashion, I do miss sinking into the relaxing stupor of the Rave and all it has to offer. Some days have been good and some have been not so good, but without having daily access to you it's hard to keep you filled in on all that makes up this crazy life of mine.



I miss my friends I had begun to make on here and wish that I was a braver person and had taken the bold steps to initiate contact with some of them outside the rave. It would be nice to pick up the phone and call one or two of them, but it would feel so awkward at first and it's that awkwardness I shrank from which has kept me from establishing more than superficial relationships with most of the people on here. I suppose when I come back online I should take steps to rectify that.



Best wishes dear journal, housemates, and friends. I hope to be back soon.



*waves*