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So that ex, ya.. your all adults.. were back together

So is it dumb that i asked a witch online to cast a spell to break up my ex with the hoe he cheated on me with, now they are broken up and im kinda tripping balls, cause everything i asked for her to make happen, is happening

Today and the last few days i have been feeling better, cheerier. Finished up shopping with my best friend milly, and got a text message from a number i didnt know but felt familiar, if that makes sense.. It was him. the one who paralyzed my soul.. Saying i was right, when i asked who it was he said he didnt want to say,but that i was right and he hoped that made my day. I realized it was {k} and that i was right about him not being able to make it work with the other girl. I feel really bad that it ended like i said it would, i didnt even mean that i said it out of spite.

I told him that it doesnt make me happy to hear he is miserable, and i was being honest, i never wanted him to hurt how i did. He wanted to "start over" and it enraged me, because i wanted it too, but i know im incapable of that. I can forgive but i cant forget it, cause that hurt still lays latent in every guarded action in every move i make.

I want him so bad and now he knows what it feels like to be traded up for someone else, it makes me wonder if he understands how wrong it is,how it hurts.

At first he seemed so sweet, then by the end he seemed like a player.. like every move he made,which seemed so sincere was part of a plan, one that had conquered so many hearts before. and it ached to think mine was another in that category.

He is still what i want, but god i just cant fathom the idea of feeling that pain again.

Hi absence made me a sad,pitiful person, someone grumpy and unhelpful.. It makes me mad that i became some love struck girl,crumpled by a man. Thats not who i am. I wasnt happy, and i love to laugh, i cried and i hate the idea of tears. I wasnt myself and im not sure i want to risk being her again...

Recently i encountered a woman, who much like myself was on here looking for answers. I came to realize why im here. As of lately i have heard a lot of news surrounding unfortunate events within the world, shootings,rapes,muggings, things that make you question the good in the world. I by no means are religious, not in the sense that i dont believe in a higher force,but i do doubt the accuracy of all of the idealistic being religions worship. Anyways off topic there a wee bit. I came to the idea that there has to be some kind of truth to websites such as this, that there is no way something so terrifying as vampires,werewolves, and other supernatural beings, are completely fictitious. We try to believe that there is no actual harm in the world but there is, as we have seen with numerous crimes such as that of the Connecticut murders. To take someones life, no matter how it is done is quite gruesome, a gun or by a supernatural force doesnt make much difference. As a little girl my mom would tell me horror stories about a man who went nuts and was locked away, and who eventually broke loose and killed a family.. a few years later i realized that the story she had told me was of the shell lake massacre, which took place not far from our family farm.. No one can just come up with something that grotesque without there being some fact behind it, and i find that is the truth to all things. There has got to be truth behind the stories of what lurks in the shadows...





So here is a challenge to all of you on here, to those of you who are die hards, whether you show it or not; I challenge you to open up and break down your story.

i see right through you,just as clearly as you see through your own selfish deeds. Your desire for a match shall be long and fruitless, you shall end up alone as just deserves. For there you've released karma and Segmend the lord of true darkness, he who lurks behind your every movement;whisping away your hope and instilling your fate. But with every dark entity there shall be one who acts heroin and beguiles all shadows, you shall pass them thrice in your endeavors. Once in kindness,once in conflict, and finally once as a true test of recognizing your saints. Shall you let your saint slip through thy fingers they shant come round, two months is their wait,once gone. misery will set in upon you. My sight has warned me your on strike one with tomorrow leaving 55 days to recognize your faith. You only recieve 61 as that is what segmend offers you. Set your sights on what is right and forget about freight.

Its sad to think that there are people out there who desire to be lifeless. I may not find great meaning in the life i have nor desire to continue it but it would be a shame to become immortal. They say it is genetic, but i dont believe one can be given eternal life without spite behind it. Only one who wishes to see you suffer would damn you to watch all those known to you perish

I expected to meet dark people, the type that throw me off guard and make me question what lies behind the shadows of the known world. People here arnt what they seem to be, no one is here to share details, your all here under mentors and groups, with the initiative to inform... im feeling like this was a wrong choice

The guide i received says i should write at least one journal entry, which is posing a bigger challenge than i expected. In person i can ramble on and on, i love to talk. But here i feel lost in what to say,what level of personal information should be revealed, and to who it would be revealed to.. It's 1:40 am on a saturday, i cant sleep,like usual. Oddly though instead of watching a movie,which is my usual remedy to a long night of consciousness, im here.



I have no poetry,potion,spell nor story to offer those of you who read this.



I offer myself

COMMENTS

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NavajoStray
08:56 Dec 15 2012

to offer oneself is all a person could ask.

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Darkblue
16:52 Dec 15 2012

This is Your Journal to write as much or as little as you want in. (Within reason, VR ToS still apply.)



The more people who add your journal to their 'Favorite Journals' list will give you a percentage bonus compared to members who don't keep one. The choice is always yours.

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