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ive never been good at keeping journals. the last time i had one my ex stepmom that stupid cold hearted cunt bitch of a woman found it and read it then let her slutty daughter. i was in the 8th grade. in that journal i had written about how much i hated life, hated my stepmom and how i wanted to kill everyone around me and how i would do it. of course theres clearly something not right in my head right? well the only person that was concerned was my dad. he wanted to get me help while his wife wanted to just beat me. that stupid bitch didnt even realize that it was that exact attitude and feelings she had towards me that made me write that journal. she didnt give a flying rats ass about it. she treated me like shit from the day she married my dad to the day he finally left her sorry ass.

believe it or not when they got together i was hoping it would work. i didnt want my dad to be alone and i wanted a mother. i had never knew my birth mother. she left me when i was just a baby and i didnt remember her. now when i finally got one she treated me and made me feel like things would be better if i wasnt around. hey i was a kid and i didnt deserve that. i tried to get along with ther but she made it to where i didnt even want to anymore.

but i finally meet my mother a few months ago. and it was almost not worth the trip. it started off good but in the end it turned out ugly. im gonna try with ther but im gonna go really sloe beceuse i dont want to be hurt by her again