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(click)There's no place like home (click) There's no place like home (click) There's no place like home
03:07 May 26 2006
Times Read: 715


"But I did leave you, Uncle Henry -- that's just the trouble. And I tried to get back for days and days."



"Home! And this is my room -- and you're all here! And I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all! And -- Oh, Auntie Em -- there's no place like home!"



WOOT WOOT ... YEEE HAAAAA ... I'mmmm backkkkk!!!!! I'm back, I've missed you ..



And I'm so excited .... after almost 10 whole months of being away, I'm FINALLY back. It couldn't have come at a better time I'll tell you what. You all can't imagine how much I have truly missed talking with all my friends that I've made here on this site. While I may talk to many of you on teh outside through Yahooo for the most part; it is here on this site that we came to meet and get to know one another better. Some people just don't seem to understand how theraputic it can be to have a special someone or a few someone's to talk to on a normal basis ... This is something I think I'm going to look into on a bigger scale, maybe do a thread on it .. but for now ... I digress ... I suppose I should update you all on exactly WHAT has been happening with me ... well that is those who are truly intrested, and have wondered where I've been? To those of you who've continued to message me in my absence, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's nice to know that in this world there is someone that cares at least enough about you to ask about you... I've truly missed everyone, I've missed my time spent on here talking to new people and just goofing around with others. I've missed getting to read profiles and seeing just what kind of people there really is out there in this world ... It actually seems funny, but for as much as I and well really anyone I guess, for as much bitching as been done in the past about threads and profiles and childish behaviour and the list goes on ... Hard to believe that a person could miss it so much ... It's also nice to see that while structurally VR has changed, and people have come and gone, and come and gone, and come and well you get the picture ... not much has changed in the way that people in general are on here ... There's still the little kiddies, and the drama, but there are still those hard knocks who truly are here for the reason of the site ... to share in a community where there are other like minded people ... So much has happened in the last 10 months I wouldn't know where to begin ... most already know that I had moved to western New York in July, and was staying with my boyfriends cousin; that his computer crapped out like a few days after I got there, and that started my long absence. From there things just went down hill fast ... I'm not going to go into great detail because there are certain people on here (they know who they are) hellped to cause some of the problems in the beginning ... What I will say is that in a span of like two and a half months we had to move three different times, the last place having been into basically a Crack house hotel no tell motel ... If ya know what I mean ... Not that I wanted to, but with me not being able to work, and having to go on public assistance, it was the only place I could afford to live ... I was there for about 3 months ... now this place was less effeciant then an efficancy apartment ... It had a little bathroom sink and cabbinet in it, which had cigarette burn and pok marks all over it; a mirror that was cracked and chipped, a single bed frame with a beaten up, burnt up piss smelling mattress in it, a tall 2 door metal storage cabbinet and that was it ... No wait ... I forgot ... it had two more thing ... ROACHES ... and total beat out shot out crack, drug addicts, acoholic's and stretched out whores ... two public bath/showers that you literally had to wear shower shoes in it because you never know what you're going to step on ... I never took a shower unless my boyfriend was home from work, and without a knife ... Oh and did I mention that this place is positioned on the bar strip of Buffalo, Chippewa St. right above two of the busiest bars on the block ... I'll tell you what ... I literally thought I would go crazy from lack of sleep ... if it wasn't Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights with the music thumping from 8:30 till 4:30 in the morning ... then it was the crack heads yelling and fighting in the halls ... I literally thought I was going to loose it ... Now on top of all that I was starting to see doctors again, because my chest has been hurting not to mention my back just keeps getting worse as the days and months go by ... You see when i was 16, after my last heart surgery, the doctors had warned me that possibly by my 30's I should keep a watch out that my problems could return ... well early testing has shown that it indeed has ... I have a hole in the upper chamber of my heart again, and there is a valve that is thickening, which could be do to many things ... anyway's I'll probably go for an angeogram within about 2 weeks time, and then likely have surgey by the end of the summer ... As for my back ... well that's been taking much longer to get anywhere with ... my regular doctor has tried to refer me to several different ortho doctor's and clinic's but it seems like the minute I mention that I was born with scoliosis and have a bar in my back, suddenly they aren't taking new patients, or they don't have a ortho clinic ... I'm like WTF ... I finally have an appointment for the ortho clinic at the main hospital here in town ... but guess what??? it's not until OCTOBER ... just great ... in the mean time ... I've had to resort to do the one thing I've tried to avoid all my life ... having to take medications for my back ... I'm taking low level Ultram, and Flexiril and Loritabs for the days when my back is the can't bearly get out of bed kind of hurting ... I HATE laying around ... I may not be able to work, but I don't lay my ass in bed all day either, I do actually live my life, even before I moved and was offline for so long, and spent all my time here, I still had an outside life as well, it was just that I could be on VR at the same time as i worked, so things worked out good for me that way ... Believe it or not I'm usually up every morning (but the weekends) by 4:30 am ... well anyways my regular doc finally got me into see an ortho doctor at the local collage sports medicine program ... ok this guys not a surgen, so he's looking at this as an injury ... something that with a little rehab and I'm back out on the playing field for the next quater like thing and that's nerve racking to me ... I know my reg doctor is trying to do his best to get me in to see someone ... but me doing a bunch of exercises is not going to help my situation, in fact it's anly causing me more pain ... so now I'm kinda back to square one with that, and I'll have to be going to rehab for this guy for the next month ... or until I decide not too ... and ride it out till October ... I've begun the procedure to get disability, because I've already had two other ortho doctors in the past tell me that there is not a whole lot that will be able to be done for me ... and if I can't stand nor walk for any lengthy period of time, and sitting for long periods also cause me pain, I spend my days going between standing, siting and lay down for 15 to 30 minutes and back and forth ... as I'm cleaning or preparing dinner and such i take my time and sit down between ... as for what else has been happening with me ... we finally got out of the crack house roach motel in January and have been building ourselves back up ... without help from certain people who were supposed to be so called "friends" ... it's no thank's to them that we ended up going through half the shit we have because of their childish behaviour ... but you know what ... we're better off for it ... I have a few more things to clear the air about but to those indivaduls I will do so personally ... so for all of you who have sent me message and kept me caught up, I think you dearly and I'm so glad to be back, I've really missed being here and talk to everyone ... huggles and kissels ... Dami ... P.S. please forgive any type-o's or misspellings, as I don't have a working word processing program with spell check up yet >;^****

Update to all my loved ones
18:19 May 08 2006
Times Read: 738

This is too all my very near and dear friends on here. I love you all and miss you all ‎tremendously. I wish that I could be on here more often, but if you haven't figured it out, ‎I still do not have a computer yet. Things have come up that are a little more important ‎money wise that I've had to take care of, such as keeping my car on the road. But I'm still ‎hoping that it won't be too much longer, it's been nearly a year since I've been without ... ‎AGGGGGHHHHH >;^


Anyhoooo … an update on my physical difficulties.. My back has been getting ‎progressively worse and I’m beginning to think that I may have some kind of bone ‎degeneration thingy going on … just something more the doctors are looking into. I ‎finally get to see an orthopedic doctor next week rather then having to wait until October, ‎so hopefully I’ll know more in a few weeks. The Carpel Tunnel in my left wrist has ‎gotten to the operable point, so likely that will be happening within a month or two, for ‎that I’m actually grateful, if you don’t have it, you can’t imagine the pain and numbness ‎you endure … I guess all I can say to myself is “Karma bitch” (BTW that’s an inside joke ‎to myself, I might explain it one day to all of you) … as for my heart, well they’ve been ‎running tests and it’s not looking too great either, the hole in my heart seems to have ‎possibly opened back up (something I knew at 16 was a possibility at this age) more tests ‎are needed to be sure, but if I know my own body, and I do, I can look forward to that, ‎my guessing estimation, I’d be willing to bet I’m looking at open heart surgery sometime ‎the end of summer. But we’ll see. While surgery of any kind is risky, it’s all part and ‎parcel to my life I guess; after 11 of them for various reasons, it doesn’t shock you so ‎much when the doctors start talking about the possibilities of it. ‎



As for the apartment … we’re all settled in, and have furniture and all that, now we’re ‎just living everyday as it comes. If it weren’t for the car acting up we’d have probably ‎gotten a computer by now but we need the car so we can get too and from. But that’s ‎about the extent of what’s been happening here with me. I really do miss my friends and ‎buddies so much. Since I can’t work now I don’t have a whole lot to do during the days ‎once I’ve finished my house work or laundry before dinner. Right now instead of chatting ‎my days away on the computer I’m passing the time playing RPG’s on our Playstaion ‎LOL yeah me playing video games, who would have thunk it >;^} Until next time my ‎lovely’s .. Huggles and kissels I miss you all. Love Dami