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HellChildDami's Journal


HellChildDami's Journal

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4 entries this month
 

The Event's of the Day - Short Story by HellChildDami

11:23 Jan 15 2005
Times Read: 697


The cold sets in as I'm lying here staring into the empty abyss. You've just left and I'm left here to ponder the events of this past evening....



I had only stepped our for a short walk to clear my head. Today's dealings weighing heavily on my mind. The headache intense. As I walked along the avenue, a slight mist was in the air, the moon not quite full. I thought about the events that unfolded throughout the day.



First, a multi-millon dollar contract fell through. Then of course the boss calls me into his office...as if I wasn't upset enough/ Now aI've got this fool telling me that they'll make it back...I'm thinking "yeah right" the third one that's fell though this month...I don't know what's happened, everything was set, just had to sign the contracts...Damn but there's got to be a reaso, what did I miss? Did I cross all the T's, dot all the i's, what is it? I can't figure it out.



I pass the newspaper stand and glance at the headlines; "Another Mysterious Death"...yeah just what I need to read, JUNK! So there's a serial killer out there, running around slaughtering young women...



I keep walking along taking all the night life in around me. Stopping at the corner I lean back against the wall. I watch as a car pulls up in front of a rahter pretty young blonde girl. Listening to the exchange I begin to think of where my next pay check will be coming from? Asshole, that Mark, promoted to head hancho over me, WTF, I guess when you only og after rich old ladies clients you can charm the pants off them. I wonder how many he of his clients he's slept with, and shudder, ugh. If he weren't so DAMN good looking, hell I'd have him in my bed, but he's too fucking arrogant even for me...I do have my standards ya know.



I watch as the driver hands over a twenty dollar bill and the blonde tucks it into her top. Well he's only getting a blow tonight. I have this sudden urge to yell out, "Why not go for the gold buddy?" But I don't. I watch as the blonde gets into the car and they begin to drive off. Suddenly it reminds me of the headline I just read...and I see a flash...tomorrows headline comes into my head, with a picture. It's that sweet innocent girl I just watched get into the car. My head whips after the car that just pulled away. For aI know this feeling, I've had it before. I try to make out anything, the make, the modle, a plate? This damn curse, I've always been able to see events before they happen...but the cars too far away, I close my eyes and try to picture in my mind the excahnge I've just seen. Anything, dents, rust whatever I can see; it was a dark car, blue, green, maybe black; shaped like a Ford Tarus, maybe a Sable, they do look kind of alike, the older models. I probe further, trying to see the mans face; but all I see is blackness.



Suddenly I feel a presense standing next too me. I ignore the presense and try to focus again upon the man's face, the image within...but to no avail, I just can't see the face, it was too dark, or he just stayed out of the light. Damn.



The being beside me, for some reason seemed to be blocking my visions, I could feel it in my soul. I finally pulled back and opened my eyes slowly, gathering in the sites around me yet again. I slowly turned my head to the right to see the man standing there....




By HellChildDami ©

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Public Apology To One Person I Wronged

01:06 Jan 07 2005
Times Read: 701


By HellChildDami 2000

What is an apology, but just uttered words if it is not meant

I have done a wrong that I cannot change

At the time I believed it didn’t matter

No one would know

I didn’t seem to care

Truth is, I realized it did matter

And I did care, but I hid it well

If I could erase the pain I’ve caused you

Why I would in an instant

But I cannot go back to right the wrong

I just want you to know

I am truly sorry

I know it may not mean much now

Not after all this time

But if you can never forget

I hope you can possibly forgive

You need not let me know

Just knowing that I told you

It is enough to think that,

Possibly there is a chance

For forgiveness in your eyes



By HellChildDami ©


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Baby Gives Up

15:24 Jan 06 2005
Times Read: 702


Tonight I was conceived, I know my mommy liked it. I could hear her enjoying every last drop of him. “What, what are you saying, I can’t be. I only slept with him once, how is this possible?” Today my mommy found out that I am here living under her tummy. Mommy hasn’t felt very well lately, I wonder why? “What am I gonna do? Oh God, I can’t believe he did that, I can’t be he blamed me and left. Well I’ll show him.” I felt really sick today. I think mommy took something, because I feel all funny, dizzy. Like I’m lying here besides myself. I’m not feeling well right now, so I think I’ll just rest for a bit.”What the...what was that?” Today I moved for the very first time, oh it felt so good to stretch out. My mommy felt it. But I’m so confused. She did something that I don’t understand, when I moved the third time, she punched her tummy. It hurt so I began to move away, but all I could feel was her pushing me down. I couldn’t move anymore. I know that it was her, don’t ask me how, I just know it was. I have a headache from where she hit me, I’m just gonna lay still for a little while. “There, there, now how does that feel. Oh how they are going to regret it. I’ll never let him forget...” Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy I don’t feel too good, and neither do you. You’re falling down mommy, we’re falling down. Mommy stop us, stop please get up, please. Are you all right? Mommy? Mommy, open your eyes, why are your eyes closed mommy? Wake up, please wake up. Oh how much I hurt, my head hurts, maybe if I just lay still for a little bit, please mommy, please get up. “Here she is, right here, she’s right down here.” Someone found us, we’re gonna be ok. They’re lifting us up, now all I hear is this God awful sound, and people talking...what are they saying? Something about mommy, I can’t hear them. Turn that damn noise off please, I can’t stand it anymore...”how is she?” “Not good, her vitals are very low, don’t know if she’ll pull through.” “She’s pregnant, and I think she took these. I found what’s left of the bottle laying on the floor. And there wasn’t but on or two left.” “They seem pretty strong, what are they?” “Not sure, but I brought some with, maybe they can figure it out, probably some new street drug.” “As if we don’t have enough other drugs to deal with. Did someone contact the father and let him know?” “The neighbor said the girl never spoke about a father, or said anything about him.” “You mean they don’t even know who the father is?” “Nope, the only thing she did say was that the girl said she was 19, but the neighbor thinks she’s closer to 16 or 17.” “And she’s living by herself, gonna raise this kind on her own. It’s a damn shame kids these da.....Shit...” just then I began to hear another noise, only not as loud “Beep, Beep, Beeeeeeee” Mommy please hold on we’re almost there, just a little more. Mommy? Mommy, stop, open your eyes, please open your eyes, you’re dying mommy, please... “There’s nothing more we can do but try and save the baby now. Hey speed it up, the girls not gonna make it, but the baby’s still got a lifeline, we might be able to save it...” That’s right mommy, you may have given up, but I’m not, I’m still hanging on. I’m not letting go. I ‘m not giving up. Never! We’re here, I’ve got to hold on just a little more. I’m so tired, I feel all heavy inside. I can’t fight it. NO! STOP! I’m not letting go, I’ve go to keep my eyes open. “It’s too late man, we can’t save it, the lifeline is gone. Cover her up and turn off the machine. Time of death...” NO! WAIT! What are you doing? I’m still here, I’m alive, can’t you hear me? I’m ALIVE!... “We are gathered in this place, on this very sad day too say good-bye to a beautiful young girl” It went on and on. I can feel the warmth of the sun on mommies tummy, I just wish it weren’t so dark in here. Hey wait, what are you doing? What are they doing mommy, we’re being lowered, but too where? Well, they have buried us. Are you happy mommy? I held on for four more days. I’m giving up now mommy. I love you, I hope you loved me too. “My child, I do love you. I always have, and I always will. I had to do this so that we could be together forever. Thank you baby, I love you my precious...”



By HellChildDami ©

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Life's Play

10:27 Jan 06 2005
Times Read: 704


By HellChildDami 3/31/95 ©



Act One - Birth

You’re brought into this world

Knowing nothing

You learn to walk and talk

You associate things you see

To the words you’ve learned



Act Two - Childhood

You go to school

They teach you history, math, science

How to use the language you’ve learned in Act One

You’re getting ready for the next step

The next act in Life’s Play



Act Three - Teenage Years

Here is where you develop

Into the person you will be in Act Four

You’re parents, teachers, your friends

No one will influence you more in life

You will make decisions that will rule your life here on out

Who you choose to be will be decided at this time



Act Four - Grown-Up

Now is when you will be who you have grown to be

The decisions from acts one, two,

And three have placed you in this part

You live your characters life in the play



Act Five - Old Age

The final act is almost upon you

The curtain is about to close on your play

You look back on your character

Did you make the right decisions,

Will there be applause?



Act Six - Death

The play is over

The curtain’s close

You take your bows

What do you hear?


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