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6 entries this month
Here Only Now
22:20 Feb 27 2005
Times Read: 697
By HellCHildDami
Written 3/25/99 - Revised 2/27/05
What should never be has come to pass
And the life I lead is not my own
There is something new that I cannot explain
Who I once was is not who I am today
Shyer then you think
I watch from a distance and keep my silence
I am here only now
There is an emptiness inside my soul
A place I am unable to fill
A void I cannot touch or even remove
Flowers bring a burden and the joy of sunshine
A mystery yet to behold
As I dream of someone I do not know
Who could you be, can I see your face
For I am here only now
I cannot hide myself forever inside
The person I am I must reveal
Th confusion I feel
The surprise is a joy
But is the void beginning to be filled
The danger is clear, yet when together
There is nothing else that seems to matter
Only here and only now
Not a time for thinking of future events
Or the web of lives to which we live
To many conflicting emotions
Which only stands to make the confusion deeper
But these are things that are meant to be sorted
Not now, and not here
But one day at a time
One step here, one step there
For it’s here and now that you take my breath away
Whatever Happened?
05:20 Feb 27 2005
Times Read: 699
By HellChildDami
It seems like just yesterday we spoke on the phone
All was well in your new life
The job was exciting
Your new apartment, the decorating was a blast
Then the night life, and all the new men
We talked for a while,
The happier you talked the more loneliness I heard
I know you well my friend, you tried your best
But the pain you could not cover
When you left the past you tried to hide
The new life you hope to lead
That past was so close behind
Running you found was not your answer
We talked of memories, the good times we had
And still I could hear the trouble you feared
We said goodbye and vowed a call in a month
I waited for the call to come
May turned to June, June to July
It’s now January and I sit in the cold
Your grave is not marked
Your body in storage for the spring to come
It’s been a full year since I saw you last
After 19 years it’s hard to think
When you first left, I knew it wouldn’t be for long
I knew I’d see you again
Now as I sit here out in the snow
I cry, knowing the loneliness you felt that time we talked
What could I have done to make it stop
But knowing that I couldn’t
New Year's Resolution01:49 Feb 27 2005
Times Read: 708
New Year's Resolution
By HellChildDami 12/31/95
What does the New Year bring?
New beginnings of old feelings
Days we lived out in the old year
Will these new days be different then the days of yester year
To make a resolution, one must have something to resolve
In a nation where problems have no answers
What are the resolutions
I resolve to quit smoking
I resolve to quit drinking
I resolve to loose weight
I resolve to be a better person
I resolve to solve the worlds problems
Just to say the words
Does not make the problems go away
In a nation where most live within themselves
The resolutions will not come together
But in a nation with so many people
"We the people of these United States"
If we came together as one ...
Each one unit together as a united front
The resolutions would come
The answers to the questions
The solutions to the problems
A year of new beginnings
Can the resolution be ...
"I resolve to join with my neighbors to build a front with solutions to the problems within ourselves, to make this nation a better place where we live, to help make the world a better place where we live day to day. Old Year into New Year."
It's Bad Luck01:29 Feb 27 2005
Times Read: 710
By My Brother
Written 1988
You take the midnight subway train
And you just got shot
You're struck by lightening
IT's bad luck
You take the muggers one on one
Your short life won't be much fun
You sleep on each and every long cold night
And everyday that is warm and bright
You're six feet under
It's bad luck
You go to hell the devil's mean
He zaps your butt and then you scream ....
He never did finish it, but to this I find it amusing
Midnight Stars
08:19 Feb 18 2005
Times Read: 722
By HellChildDami (copyrighted)
I woke up this morning
Thoughts of you on my mind
I didn’t know why, I can’t explain
The night sky still in the air
The moon full, tiny specks lite my way
As I arrived I looked up to the stars
I see my motherly star though not as bright
I look to her right and there it sets
A new star that lights up the night
I guess I knew then and there what was to come
One tiny tear ran down my cheek and I brushed it away
The call would come to confirm my fears
But at that moment, I looked to the heavens
I whispered Thank You
Though I knew the pain and emptiness I’d feel
I still said Thank You
We asked for swiftness, the pain to be short
With only a few months suffering you have left our world
Gone to another place though you’re not alone
We treasure your memories and live on each day
Remembering the life you lived fully
Not night goes by when I look to the sky
To see my Midnight Stars
My love and strength to face each new day
Far Away In Despair
05:46 Feb 16 2005
Times Read: 727
Far Away In Despair
By HellChildDami
Written 2/6/05
So far away, yet so close in my heart
So far away, yet so close to touch
So far away, but always on my mind
The pain you feel, I can not touch
But the pain you feel, I feel as much
The look in your eyes,
The lost look of desperation
The quietness of your thoughts
Roaming in the cage of your mind
Blackness clouds over like
The panther who paces within it’s prison
The cage is locked, the key lost
The pacing begins but turns to dispair
The despair in your mind takes you far away
Yet so close to my heart,
Closer to my touch,
Always in my mind,
But your pain I can not heal,
It is for you to heal
To make it whole once again
Written For Someone Special
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