Who I sense you are
09:47 Feb 26 2005
Times Read: 724
This is for someone in particular, so don't ask, they know who they are...
I have spoken to you in riddles.
I have spoken to you in phrases.
I have read what you reveal.
I have read what you have wrote.
I see what you portray.
I see what you hide.
You put on a facade,
A wall up in front of you.
You don't want them all to see that what lies beneath the mask, behind the riddles, under the layers upon layers there is a man who feels. A man who can be happy, a man who can be hurt, a man who can love, a man who can cry, a man who does have feelings.
I feel you have been betrayed in a way you believe no other has been.
Because of it you put up this front, you no longer trust in love. You want to believe in it, but are afraid to, because the betrayal was to strong.
You want to find true happiness but it seems to elude you, so you find your happiness in making others laugh, with that you find your chuckle.
Though love is your betrayal, you actually love other’s, family and friends with a fierceness you can’t comprehend.
You find that while you want so much to hate, you really can’t, and this confuses you.
You question this as well as many other things within your life. Not understanding as many others, why you have had to face the things in life you have. You are only now just learning to accept that which you can not change in life, the past. But learning how to change the things you can, the future.
You hide that fact that you find beauty in many things. You can see the beauty in an early morning flower, with a drop of dew about to fall from it’s petal’s.
You see beauty in a woman where she sees none within herself.
You find that there is beauty in love, just as there is beauty in hate. Which is why you can’t understand; Why do you do the things you do?
You yearn to find the one to come along who will help you put together the pieces of your once strong heart. The one who will cradle it with in their own hands, mind, body and heart, just as you will theirs.
Because of your betrayal, you find that you can’t open up, you are afraid of trusting anyone, least you are betrayed again.
You’ve yet to learn that to find this individual you must be willing to take that chance, because you see, they feel the same, and they must also take the chance.
Flattery???
07:13 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 740
Ok, first and foremost I want to THANK EVERYONE who has taken the time to visit my porfile and portfolio ... I love you all ... thank you so much for your props on my pages :^****
Now I'd like to share one rate in particular ...
I LOVE YOU'RE RACK..... ITS BEAUTYFULL..... NICE TO ENTERTAIN MY SELF ON ..... I'LL SUCK THOSE TITS TILL THEY TURN RED..... SORRY ABOUT YOUR MOTHER ..... THATS FUKED UP TO HEAR.... IM VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT ..... I MEAN I WOULD HATE TO LOOSE MY MOTHER.... SHE'S MY EVERYTHING ... JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER WAS YOUR EVERY THING ...... BIZZARE 13:17:19 Feb 22 2005
Now when some people saw this they began to take offense to in on my behalf, and for that I thank you ... But in all honesty ... I have to admit that I found this to be quite amusing.
Why would I you ask? ... Simply this, if anyone has actually read all the way through my profile you have seen my word's of caution:
Oh and one more thing...YES!!! They are real and YES!! I know they are big, I have to carry them around where ever I go!! There is no need to tell me that unless I ask you too!!
I think it's funny to me because you wouldn't believe some of the PM's I've recieved ...
At least this guy had the balls to announce it to the world ... well to the VR world.
So I just want to say a special thanks to Bizzare >;^*
Damn I feel better08:35 Feb 23 2005
Times Read: 757
I do believe I feel a might better having gotten that off my chest ... I think I should do that more often, I believe that I will ... I haven't wrote much here because at first I wasn't sure I wanted to share what was inside me to anyone, only certain people who really know me. But I guess that at times I can be a bit whiny like everyone else, so rather then whiny to everyone I'll just write in here. I used to keep a hand written journal, but that kinda fell by the way side, so let's see what happens here. I will alos be adding more to the rest of this here journal, so if you actually mange to read through all my rants and on to my poems / songs and the beginning of my stories (which eventually I'll finish the one I started) you'll find that I'm truly not a bitch, but there are certain things that I do bitch about. You're welcome to come back anytime ... thank's for bending me your ear....
Dami's Rant 3: "Extra medication for all, why don't you go have some more? Cuz y'r freaking me out."08:28 Feb 23 2005
Times Read: 758
These are my personal thoughts and opinion, having said that, if I piss you off, well I really don't give a shit anymore....
Ok this is a biggy for me ... maybe I'm just whining but I don't care ... WHAT IS SO GOD DAMN HARD ABOUT READING FAQ'S? Why is it so fucking difficult for people to take a NICE SUBTLE hint???? HHHMMMM??? You try to be nice, you don't say anything at first, you just subtly bump and grind Moreish's forum post to the front of the line each time some idiot posts a stupid forum ... now be friggin real people, some of those damn threads are stupid and idiotic ... Use so damn common sense .. hell it's spelled right out for you ... yes it's a "General Forum" but damn it use your head won't you please? You are on VAMPIRE RAVE!!!! IE.. the conjoined group of people having one major like in common, VAMPIRES .. HELLO!!! When it's spelled right out for you in the FAQ's, and then low and behold it's actually posted in THREAD form right there in black and white ... exactly what it says in the FAQ's??? I don't get it, are you blind, are you stupid, what?, What is it? Maybe I'm just missing something here. Don't give me that crap about people being young, I was young once too, and even I wasn't that idiotic. That's just plan think you're Billy Bad Ass once again, thinking you don't have to follow rules or use any common sense what so ever ... Well here's a little tip, some advice ... better learn how to follow the rules, and use your common senses now kiddies. Because once you GROW UP and get out there in the REAL WORLD ... how far do you think the Billy Bad Ass attitude will get you??? I'll give you a hint, it's surly not as far as you think it will ....
Dami's Rant 2:"I'm so tired of having to whip out the Idiot's To English Dictionary"08:08 Feb 23 2005
Times Read: 764
These are my personal thoughts and opinion, having said that, if I piss you off, well sorry...
I know my spelling isn't the greatest, most of the time it's just general type-o's that I miss as I'm typing. Which I have this thing, I CAN'T STAND WHEN I TYPE-O!!!!! GGRRRR I get so frustrated. I HAVE to go back and correct them right then and there, before I continue on. And usually if I'm typing something and I can't get a word spelled right I'll open up my "Word" program and type it in there and check it ... that's my gripe ... most computers now a days come built in with some sort of "Word" program, so it takes all of like 30 seconds to a minute to double check a word.
What kills me and makes me want to rip my hair out?? (and if you've looked at my pictures in my portfolio you'll see I don't have much hair anymore, but it's growing back) But any way's, what kills me is the little punk fuck nuts who try to act all cool, while saying "I can't stand stereo-types", you sit there and type words like you say them slang street style.
Ahh Duh!!! *smacks forehead*
Do you know how fucking stupid you not only look but sound when you do that.
Oh and then you sit there and bitch because you claim that you’re older in mind then you are in years.... Jesus Christ ... if you want to be taken seriously??!!?? Then by God learn how to speak, write, and type in proper English. And while you’re at it, learn how to use spell check.
This is in no way geared towards those of you who English is your secondary language, I know and understand that words translated from you’re language to English are different.
Dami's Rant 1:"Welcome to Reality and don't give me that you're so cruel bullshit"07:53 Feb 23 2005
Times Read: 765
These are my personal thoughts and opinions, having said that, if I piss you off, well sorry...
I am so sick and tired of people being so friggin lazy when they join that they can't even take 5 or 10 minutes to say a little something about themselves. Or when they do they have this whole stupid cocky attitude. Makes me just want to walk up to them and slap the dog piss out of them. Oh yeah life sucks, it sucks for a lot of people in a lot of ways .. so here's a tip knock it off with the attitude, ohhh so you’re Billy Bad Ass, well here's a size 6 1/2 Billy Bad Ass, yeah i said 6 1/2 laugh all you want but while you’re picking your teeth off the ground realize that people come here to get to know other people, to make new friends. You say you’re here to do the same, well then by God act like a friggin human being and show a little respect for your self. Then maybe you might make a few friends, people might actually be interested in saying Hi.
100,000 Pages And Counting
20:18 Feb 22 2005
Times Read: 780
I would like to share with everyone something that I don't think anyone else has achieved ... I do believe that this man has reached a point no one else on this site has, save for Cancer I'm pretty sure ... Radu ... he is a wonderful friend, funny, has a certain wit and charm to him that you don't know about until you actually talk to him.
He has reached 100,000 pages and counting
I would like to share with you our exchange:
--- On 13:39:13 - Feb 22 2005 - radu wrote ---
This is number 100,000 paged viewed.
--- On 13:41:59 - Feb 22 2005 - HellChildDami wrote ---
Wow and I'm bestowed the honor >;^} LOL gee thanks hon :^*
--- On 13:43:13 - Feb 22 2005 - radu wrote ---
You are a good friend and I wanted to share it with someone.---
--- On 13:46:55 - Feb 22 2005 - HellChildDami wrote ---
thank you, mind if I put it in my journal???
--- On 13:48:32 - Feb 22 2005 - radu wrote ---
Go right on and put it in your journal.
--- On 13:50:42 - Feb 22 2005 - HellChildDami wrote ---
Thank you hon, and you are the first person I shared my change over with, because you are a good friend and I wanted to tell you to get on up here :^P
:^*
--- On 13:53:21 - Feb 22 2005 - radu wrote ---
I just wanted to share it with someone who I know would understand how long it took to get here.
How many others can say they've achieved this.... not many, I salute you, and your dedication Radu, can't wait until you turn 200,000 :^*
Saddness in my heart 2/15/0507:12 Feb 16 2005
Times Read: 788
This is the first time I've really used my journal to share anything like this ...
Well tonight as I was sitting here talking to some people on yahoo, when my cousin popped up. Well I got some rather sad news tonight. My cousin, her brother, has had Diabeties all his life basically, and the last few years he's gotten really bad. He's been on 6 hours of dialisis (sp?) a day. Well I just found out that they've had to cut him back to 3 hours every other day, but his kidney's and liver are failing badly. His body is slowly rejecting everything. He contracted a staph infection from the port in his neck and it has travled all through his blood stream. He's taking anti-biotics for it but it's really bad, and he may not recover from it. He's nearly died twice now in the last 3 weeks, and his younger brother flew out to see him and has said that he is all black and blue all over his body, and that his skin tone is very, very grey, that he looks to be 70 years old. And my cousin is only 48. I haven't seen him in probably close to 15 years, I had always hoped that I would be able to go out and see him again, but that's not looking possible. My Grandmother, who has always been very close to all of us; well she has conjenative heart failure and is slowly slipping from us. She's 90 years old and lived a long healthy life, but news like this will hurt her. But we can't keep it from her, because of how close she has always been to all of us. It wouldn't be right.
I'm just kinda down and really sad right now. I know there's nothing I can do for either one, it just hurts to know that I can't and that life must go on.
10:16 Feb 11 2005
Times Read: 798
My Pet Peeve
I have one main pet peeve in life ... and that is people will go around and ask other people questions about an individual, instead of going to that person directly and talking to them ... they are basically talking about the person behind their back ... If I have a question about someone, I’ll ask them ... directly ... not go ask Joe Blow what Lil' Jane is doing? Who they are? Where they come from? If they have a life? or what ever the hell it is they want to know about Lil' Jane. So if you ever have any questions about me, feel free to message me. I have nothing to hide, and I love talking to people. I'm not gonna bite y'r head off. Well not usually, there's only on question that might get y'r head bit off ... I leave you all to figure that one out.
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