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So I spoke to a friend yesterday and she sounded totally off. she started out with what to me up to now is the most serious cry for help that she has given me so far, then degenerated into sounding like a completely different person, and a very odd one at that. She was obviously depressed and is in a bad relationship that effects her view of herself. She needs help to get out of it but is unwilling to right now. She isn't ready. I care about her a lot and want her to be happy. The hardest part for me is that she has to be the one to make that choice. Her husband doesn't give her the ability to make choices, and I wont do that to her by trying to make choices for her.

So after tones of hard work and the help of wonderful people I have now amde it into a coven. I made it into the Vita ex Nex coven to be precise.



It was a hard decission because of having to chose between friends as sire but it is done and i am happy.



I have a lot of work to do to help my coven as my coven helped me along with my Mentor to get where I'm at today.



Thanks to all the people that made this happen. Oh, and all you readers of this journal, remeber to thank Cancer and the crew. Without whom we would not exist.

Finally I got my profile in some sembolence of decent shape and got over heretic so I canpost now. Yes! I am now a member of the community. Also I recieved my first protection stamp today. This I feel is such an honor. I feel alot better since orriginally i was on here to avoid the outside world due to my depression. if you have read my past journal entries you sould understand why.

So I have spent several hours on here updating my profile and trying to hide from the world. I've been really depressed and time alone isn't really helping. Kind of ironic isn't that.



I need to talk to the manager at a gas station to see if she will give me the job and let me take two weeks without pay to go back to Cali and get my things. I have not a cent and no income coming. I really have to thank the friends I call family for without them I woudn't have a roof over my head and a bite to eat. I love you guys. But please don't tell me its because I would do the same for you. We know thats true but it makes me feel guilty because I can't do it for anyone myself right now. But you do know anything you need that I can give it is yours.

Ok, so heres the deal. I'm in love with a married woman that knows how I feel about her. I have shared everything about my life with her. We talk about everything and yes that means EVERYTHING. The only line we have not crosses is the line sex.

Now the thing is that I would be totally cool with hanging out and not have any issues but for the husband. He is a control freak. She is not alowed out of the house but to go to school. She is only allowed one female friend that she actually cannot stand but it gets her away from him at times. He is emotionally and verbally abusive.(not physically but might be better if he were, i'd get her out of there easier.)



Now the even harder part is that I'm moving out of state and leaving the woman that I have loved the most in my life in a really bad situation. It kills me.

Why are all the girls I fall for either married or engaged? I am stuck in the realm of self pitty wanting something that is just out of reach. I hate the fates! they have dangled that ever elusive need in front of me again and I am to honorable to take it.



Sigh!

COMMENTS

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SheWolf85
11:52 Jul 28 2009

awww.. *hugz*

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Due to the lack of current employment it made this the perfect time to go back home and visit friends! I am taking the summer in VA to visit the town I chose to call home and true friends that I have known and stayed in contact with for over 20 years! Lots of love Imp.. I'm glad to be here and to call you a friend!

I realized I've been neglecting this portion of my profile! I need to update here more often.



Well. As of May I quit My job at Slaveway (Safeway) because of all the drama and a boss that was't the greatest. since then I have been searching with no luck to find a new job. Thanks to persons not to be named our economy sucks!