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This bridge was written to make you feel smittener

with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer

can you extract me from my plastic fantasy

i didnt think so but im still convinceable

will you persist even after i bet you

a billion dollars that i'll never love you

will you persist even after i kiss you

goodbye for the last time

will you keep on trying to prove it?

i'm dying to lose it...

i want it

i want you





yup dresden dolls are coolz.

isnt love complicated? i sometimes think the world would be better off with out it. what do you think?

Ever cried tears of joy? Cuz I havent. Tho I felt like crying I was so damn happy a couple times in the past few days. I finally got what I had been waiting for. I had been waiting for 10 months for the girl I love to come back to me. Sometimes I would be patient, other times I would be going COME ON DAMMIT! lol but either why I got her back! YAY! .... Dont think she'll ever realize how much she means to me or how much I love her. But hey im ready and willing to spend the rest of my life showing her =)

Now to those not so happy tears.... She was supposed to come see me on friday and we were supposed to go to the Kittie concert in Clifton Park but she cant make it now. This would be where the plain out sad tears come in. She has to work and they wont let her off. Eh i dont even want to go to the concert without her. But I know I should tho since we already bought the tickets and shit. Oye dont life just suck sometimes? Made me ecstatically happy that she was mine again and that I could hold her.... thennnn nope! cant see her now! Ha lifes a bitch.

Anyway im gonna get tatted up soon as I get the money set aside. Not sure which one to get first tho. I know im getting the word Strength on my right arm by my wrist and Hope on my left, I have a Celtic knot that im getting on my left shoulder blade, and a weeping willow done on my right side of my tummy. Dunno what one to do first! Well not the willow cuz that one is to big for a first time one. but i dunno about the others. I was also thinking of getting a butterfly.. Not sure where I would get it tho. Hmm ill ask... O shit lol I just remembered my mom wanted me to get a tat done with her! Haha so maybe ill ask her where she thinks I should get the butterfly.. or if I should or not. Always have to ask the mom or she'll go NO I dont think it looks good!

Speaking of my mom, Shes coming back from florida today. She should be here soon with the rest of the family. Sucks. I missed her and all but I didnt miss the lil kids. Nor did I miss the mess they all create for me to clean up. And with them coming home my brother Kevin will be leaving and going back to when he lives and taking his computer =( So I wont have a way to talk to all my friendys online. Ill only be able to use the phone so boo! Well they should be here very soon so im going to go double check everything is in its place and the beer bottles are gone hehe

Life is good... no.. ok life is fuckin GREAT right now hehe im a happy kid for once YAY! =D

So im talkin to my friend and she starts tellin me about these damn guys askin her out and i was like well your straight i see why they ask you out but why would they ask ME out? im a lesbian... she goes maybe they are trying to make you straight. then she goes like that will ever happen! your terminally gay!! lmao so there you have it folks IM TERMINALLY GAY! and dont forget it hahahaha

LEAVE ME ALONE!!! ha I dunno how else to say it or how to make it clearer to all. I dont love you guys. Maybe I like you as a friend but I dont LOVE you as a friend. I love a grand total of lets count... 10 people.. half of those 10 are family.. only 2 of the non family are male and in all only 4 of the 10 are male. SOOO it might not seem like much to you but it is! LEAVE ME BE! I wont go out with you. I wont say i love you. Not cuz im shy but because I just dont love alot of people! All the people I love I have known for over a year. Unlike alot of you fuckers I dont throw the word around. If i say it i mean it... unless ya know were joking around I go MAN I love you! while laughing. Then its just me loving ur making me laugh ha. To shorten this up im just gonna say this... I DONT CARE IF YOU "LOVE" ME! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE WORD MEANS! In order to truely love u must know the person. Know how they act know who they are. Otherwise you love the idea of this person that ur talking to online. Online personalities are not the same as the actual ones that people have. Get over it... Stop being so desperate that u go after people u never met.. get someone who can see ur faults and love you anyway... otherwise it will never work so why bother?

O one last thing... stop saying I turn you on... And dont come to me when you say "Im going to kill myself" cuz all ill I have to say to that is GOOD! rid the world of your weakness and stupidity! you selfish pricks! I DONT GIVE A RATS ASS!



Does that clear things up?