The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

some people are lost in their heads. some people are lost in their hearts. and some people feel so lost they find the most beautiful places that some of us will never live to fill.

there must be about a million ways to let yourself be destroyed. but then there is love, and i think tonight i am in the the mood to break apart and let myself be consumed by all the things i know i would never be able to recover from.

Silent
Eery silent
My heart beats so loud
Blood drips on the ground
Mixed with vodka & tears
I can't breathe
As if there's a noose around my neck
The white pale color
Of the seeds in my hand
Makes me nauseous
So small yet so powerful
I roll them around in my fingers
Slowly admiring
The future it holds
No future at all
I see the small transparent bottle
Filled with so many broken dreams
Opening it, I spill all the hopeless nights
On the ground
One by one I place them
In my mouth
Bitter... Oh so bitter
The nightmare will end just soon enough
But there is a voice
Faint... Clear...
Its saying
I... I don't know?
Everything's blurred

"Don't leave..."
"..... You keep me alive."

"I need you to survive!"

if i ever push you away
i don't really mean to
when i tell you i don't want to talk about it
i do, i am just looking for the right words
give me a minute, and if i can tell you; i will
i try to be a struggling mix of real and
perfect at the same time

at the moment
i am working on the ratio
when i get really quiet sometimes
it is because i have too many things to tell you
all at once
and i don't know what to say first
i get immediately jealous of anyone
who befriends you

i miss you really easily
but i also like that we can be
a p a r t
and we are both okay space is good
i love the way we love some of the
same things and i love how
we love entirely different things
my head is a complicated pile of thoughts
and fears, and cravings, and dreams
and this tangled up nostalgia for the past
and, somehow, the future

and maybe i froze when
you touched me like that
because we are animals,
the two of us,
and the prey always believes
that if they don't move,
they will not
be hurt.

Just leave me here...

Leave me to
Daydream about your beautiful face.

Leave me to
Picture what it would be like.

Leave me to
Imagine a life with you.

Leave me to
Hide in my fantasy world, because
that's all I have left.

Leave me to
Cry myself to sleep every night
knowing that all those dreams,
fantasies, and longing thoughts
will be just that.

Nothing more.