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I was your storm. What you always were afraid of doing, I brought those moments to you, I broke and swept all your old barriers and built you all new.

When I left... Darling, you knew.

I know why now. It's because of him. It's because of him that I seem to hesitate to run to you. It's him that's holding me. He's preventing me of loving you. I still love him, I desire him. But here you are! You came on my way without warning me. You came when my heart was still beating for him. You took my hand while he had the other one in his. There are two directions in front of me, but I don't know which one to take. You didn't gave me time. You didn't let me the time to decide. You wrapped me in your words, in your mysterious look while my lips asked for only his. I didn't ask to be in this situation, so please don't get mad at me. I should have told you no, but I couldn't resist you. I couldn't refuse you because I was afraid that you wouldn't wait for me. I said to myself that I would forget him thanks to you, thanks to all the love you give me, but I only lied to myself. I'm falling in love with you but the last memory that doesn't seem to leave my head are the kisses that he left me that night. But I chose you, so I will fight to love you. To forget him. I'm sorry for being selfish.

I don't feel beautiful with the pretty long hair or wearing a dress, i don't think i look attractive if i smile, i can't see that I'm pretty if they often stare at me. Don't you just realize? there's never ending standards for being gorgeous, but i feel the beauty in simple ways. I look in the window, holding a cup of coffee, i try not to think about you. I just can't stop chasing after the warmth in the wind, I'm feeling it in my face, i feel nice, i feel the peace inside me. I know i could slowly remove these tangled thoughts in my head, I'll never be like her and i don't want to. But if one day we'll meet in a crowded town, you'll run after me and look me in the eye, you'll wonder why it's too late for you to see the person in me, the real beauty inside me.

Look her in the eyes when you run your hand up her thighs, because her desire is in the connection. Don’t be surprised, when she shivers and sighs, for intimacy is your most dangerous weapon. Kiss her real slow, and kiss her down low, you don’t have to be on top to make sure you’re in charge… Run your hands through her hair, till she’s so close to there, then hold her close as she falls off the ledge. Make her scream out your name, till it drives you insane, and you both lay spent on the bed... "Don’t even think that I’m done with you yet, Kitten!"

I almost miss the sound of your voice but know that the rain outside my window will suffice for tonight. I’m not drunk yet, but we haven’t spoken in months now and I wanted to tell you that someone threw a bouquet of red tulips in the trash bin on the corner of my street, and I wanted to cry because, because — well, you know exactly why. And, I guess I’m calling because only you understand how that would break my heart. I’m running out of things to say. My gas is running on empty. I’ve stopped stealing pages out of poetry books, but last week I pocketed a thesaurus and looked for synonyms for you but could only find rain and more rain and a thunderstorm that sounded like glass, like crystal, like an orchestra. I wanted to tell you that I’m not afraid of being moved anymore; Not afraid of this heart packing up its things and flying transcontinental with only a wool coat and a pocket with a folded-up address inside. I’ve saved up enough money to disappear. I know you never thought the day would come. Do you remember when we said goodbye and promised that it was only for then? It’s been years since I last saw you, years since we last have spoken. Sometimes, it gets quiet enough that I can hear the cicadas rubbing their thighs against each other’s. I’ve forgotten almost everything about you already, except that your skin was soft, like the belly of a peach, and how you would laugh, making fun of me for the way I pronounced your last name like I was falling in love with language.

I like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite new this thing. Muscles are better and feel the nerves more. I like your body. I like what it does, I like it's hows. I like to feel the spine of your body and its bones, and the trembling -firm-smoothness and which I will again and again and again kiss. I like kissing this and that of you. I like slowly stroking the shocking fuzz of your electric furr and when you slip over my parting flesh….And I like the thrill of being under you... Always under you.

I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know that there’s nothing but light when I see you.

It’s unexplainable, how you and I are so different, yet no one could ever still be comparable to how you and I understand each other in the absence of words; how we perfectly align despite the cracks in between; and how we stand tiptoe-ing on the edge in perfect balance. How ironic really, you and I, impossible in other people’s eyes, but right here and now, standing side by side, more than just possible, but certain.

if ever you were in the vicinity of a loner, you might believe there is tranquillity in solitude, but if ever you were a loner, you know solitude is an escape from the pandemonium in a world that never could hear you screaming.