The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

16 years old, dreams of becoming a pro wrestler, weight lifting and training with martial arts... sounds like a normal kid but no were near normal...... this was a night to remember, a night that almost lead to murder.



My brother was working a closing shift at a fast food place, with his shift almost over His girlfriend and i go pick him up... Me and her just minding our own business waiting in the car... I notice a girl staring at me, I'm thinking maybe she's checking me out but NO, she finally says what the fuck you looking at. With rage i respond, " An ugly bitch" well a furious husband soon pulls his car around, and gets out saying " why you talking shit to my lady, You got a problem." This was a almost fatal mistake of him.. In response I say " Yeah your my fucking problem" without hesitation he charges at me. My mind to filled with rage to remember the whole fight, i can tell you i ended up with a big gash across my back and him and his wife leaving full of there own blood..... what events happened is still a mystery. My only regret THEY left alive..... mmmm my demon had his fill of bloodshed that day......

I’m 22 years old and just moved out of my parents house this week, I honestly never been away from them for more then 2 days, this is a problem....... Most people should know who ed gein is. the famous serial killer who killed at the command of his mother, who has been dead for a while... he killed his victims, skinned them then wore their flesh like a body suit including their face...... what does this have to do with me????? well ed gein was a mama's boy never leaving her side til she finally died and even after death continued to stay with him... Me 22 years old and finally left my moms house..... my story matches his in a way except murder, at least not yet :), At a young age I was exposed to violence most from TV. my favorite movies as a child was stuff like evil dead and demons, i mean Bruce Campbell was and still is like a hero to me :) such a badass. i would say my first act of violence was at the age of 6, My friends my brother and I, all tried to hang a 16 year old girl from a roof with a jump rope, to young to know why i did it and also to young to have any charges made against me. I guess some things are better off not knowing....

I also was exposed to sex at a pretty young age, finding my first porno at the age of 7. I remember me, my brother and 2 best friends, found a playboy we all took turns looking at it once my turn comes, my brother start teasing me saying im going to tell mom, well he did and i got spanked, saying don't disrespect women like that. this was number one in creating a demon,.

years later we move into a new place.. to my luck filled to the roof with old porno mags and other pornography, The last person that lived there was most likely a pervert of some sort because it was really filled to the roof with porn in one room, while porn was scattered all over the house. like most kids me and my brother had to help clean the place, but to see so much boob n butt was a dream come true for a 10 year old boy at least during my generation. I pic a magazine up and put it in my pocket i decide to go show my friend or maybe i was going to hide it, i don’t really recall and masturbation hasn't crossed my mind yet so it wasn't that.. anyway my father saw the mag and tells me to give it to him, not really making a big deal, but still telling my mom, Well i got a lecture no spanking this time but to be called perverted and disrespectful to women at that age scared me, i didn't know what perverted meant yet but i knew it was bad.... second part in creating a demon.

growing older i have got to the point where i wanted a girlfriend, this is were the trouble starts, afraid to talk to girls thinking in my head im ugly, and disrespectful to girls, and perverted. I would be afraid i would make them uncomfortable or say something disrespectful. sort of like what my mom said about me..

it wasn't really a big deal and i love my mom to death, but her words stuck with me.......

My high school years brought forth my first demon and gave it a place in my body, It first started with masturbation then drugs, heavy drugs lsd coke, meth, different pills, lighter drugs like weed(still a stoner) and beer.. My mind began turning to the side of darkness feeding that demon left and right with the drugs and other behavior i will not mention... one thing i didn't feed my demon was its sexual desire. keeping my mothers words in my head i never wanted to have actual sex with a girl, thinking its wrong, I knew it was normal at my age to desire sex from a girl but, i had issues. (shit i did feed my demon plenty of masturbation thoe :) hehehe------- My teen years is the first were i desired violence, thinking of murder and becoming the greatest serial killer, i would write gory stories about demons and murderers. I would watch horror movies over and over again, faces of death was very popular to me... i created the demon in a form of violence... but never knew it was developing a sexual desire, honestly i did, but suppressed it. but the more i did the stronger it got.... Much like ed gein...... This desire of mine is not as violent as his but sometimes i wonder if it will grow. I WILL NOT LET THIS DEMON GROW ANYMORE. i will live my life the way i want it, fulfill my desires with no shame. i will not become ed gein.

But now i think about my words above and wonder if its just a demon talking, trying to get attention.

Early this morning, i had a good chat with my new found friend i met here on vr. she tells me of an ability she has to see demons.. Obviously my first thoughts are "is she crazy" but at the same time very intrested. so i ask her if she could see my demons. Since the age of 15 i've sensed the pressence of another in my body like another spirit or something like that.. it started with just a feeling then grew to hearing a voice.. as i grew older it grew stronger often putting bad thoughts in my head telling me fucked up shit, making me feel like a psycho and at times a pervert.. then after a while another voice called to me then another, at the age of 20 i already felt 3 different voices..... these i often thought of as demons... Well early today she confirmed it for me. telling me of these demons, 2 demons 1 guardian... I never told anyone of my demons or how they call to me but somehow she knew it. She saw them and could very much feel there power... first of all i never told this girl anything about it, just asked if she could see my demons.. I felt 3 she saw 3, 1 was always dominate in my head, another really liked saying weird and crazy stuff, very annoying, and one that always kept me from trouble..... Hearing all this from her confirmed my thoughts and put me at ease..... But wait it gets better.. my friend then began telling me of stuff i kept from everyone, such as fantasys... she told me stuff i didnt want to admit to any one not even my own brother because they are kinda psychotic and often violent..... Now my heart began to pound very hard ready to jump out of my chest and at the same time i felt my demon calming like it is glad it was getting the attention.....

**************************************

Hearing all this information about me made me remember some moments in my past, one key moment is my ex girl friend estella, this girl was my first. (took my virginity) anyway she often had dreams of me and saw me as a devil, this caused us to fight many times because it really frightened her. She would most likely be seeing that demon.. This part is important to what my friend told me about a fantasy(keep in mind it may be kinda fucked up); she told me how i desire to fuck a girl thats very dry or whatever making her bleed and shit like that, well anyway one night with estella, we decided to have anal sex :) not giving her any time i stuck it in no lube dry as hell :) she screamed in pain but sort of liked it cause she let me continue rather then stop it. minutes later she decided it hurt to much and wanted to stop so i pulled out(sorry for details but this is a journal) she started bleeding pretty bad and couldn't walk ;) this was a major turn on, but i knew that it was pretty fucked up, sodomy is fucked up shit anyway but making her bleed and enjoying it, this could not be me... it was an act of my demon



There are other moments but i'll save those for more journal entries.

**************************