I'm back in AEM, and I'm blinded again... I was trying to make my way away, and apologize.... Now the Mistress is saying I abused her... How... Did I hit you?... Mental toucher? what did I do to abuse you.... I... I... I have no clue what to do.... I was not even supposed to be on my comp today... I was supposed to be over Gauder's but I didn't wake up early enough, and he then asked me to come over tomorrow... She's trying to tell me how to feel... I don't know what to do... I have been raised to fight back for your self, and that's what I was doing... If I did something wrong for the coven then just tried me out of the coven, and the alicence... I would not be able to do shit then if that's what your worried about.... get me banned from VR if you want... I don't want anything to do with it any more anyways... all this drama, and crap... I keep trying to let it go, but I keeped getting asked, or things keep happening... I'm lost... I did nothing wrong.... I was trying to help... I did not know she was bad... She seemed so nice... now she's bad... I... I... I don't know.... Maybe I should just rid VR, and the world of me... why do I bother being nice, and help... I should just go to a Master, and have him make me a slave, or just kill me.... If i'm such a bad person as she's saying I am... why do I need to live...
To all Member's of the coven Ancient Egyptian Mysteries Coven ,And to the Coven Mistress xRoguex .
This is My Apology. I am sorry for being a Bother. I did not mean to make more Drama.... I am sorry for being Naive, and ignorant. Please give forgiveness... It will never happen again.
Love, and Sincerely your's
FrodoMadon
I need to Vent...... I really do.....
I am so lost... I know that this is all over, but I feel like I need to fix what had been done wrong.... I was trying to help a so called friend.... And that only got another so called Mistress mad.... Is it wrong to help a friend.... I did not know the drama that had happened concerning someone I love dearly that happened between the Mistress, and Friend... But adherently that makes me a Dumb ass with my head up my ass.... That that makes me naive, and Ignorant... I can agree with the naive, and Ignorant, but I am not a Dumb ass with my head up my ass.....
All this makes me very Sad that I did something bad, and can't fix it... that I'm the stupid one... That I'm the one that Fucked up.... I thought I was trying to help.... but adherently that was a bad thing.... I was blinded for about a weekish I think... maybe a few day's... I was to sad, and Mad to notice how long.... But then wail I was away to calm down I was traded... I'm ok with that... I wanted away from the Drama anyways.... But The Mistress is still mad at me... Even deleted my apology right after I posted it.... I don't know what I did wrong, or how to fix it....
My parent's always told me helping other's is a good thing... I thought I was helping... But I was also told to Listen, and do as I was told.... So I tried to help then was told not to because it's breaking the rule's.... I'm so confuse it hurts my head.... I was not trying to make Drama.... At the time I didn't even know there was drama to be had... I loved the coven I was in everyone was nice...... Then suddenly I'm being Bitched at, and being treated like I'm the bad guy for trying to do the right thing... How was I supposed to know that the supposed friend was accusing my Loved one of such bad thing's like being a Rapist, and pedophile... I was trying to help then suddenly the supposed friend went behind my back, and told the mistress I was harassing them.... O.O Then you should never of told me you wanted back into the coven in the 1st place... you should of kept your mouth shut... saying everyone hates you when it's obliviously not true... So when I try to tall other's who also know the mistress they say I'm bad mouthing her... but that's not what I'm doing... at least I'm trying not to... Like I said Mad, and sad so things can come out the wrong way.... I have no clue what to do for this.... some say go for sire other's say wait it out, and let the dust settle... other's say just leave VR.... I'm so lost.... At time I feel like I just want to die because of it... yes I know that's an extreme, and very Emo... but that is how I felt... I hate when other's tell me how to feel, and yell at me for how I feel... Like what I'm feeling is a bad thing.... If I feel like I can't do anything right, and need someone to tell me what to do then you can tell me what to do, but you can't change my emotional thinking.
I think I'm done venting... I guess this is my 1st actually personal Journal posting, and it might not be my last....
COMMENTS
Well you definitely took what I said to you last night out of context. sighs
I stated very clearly the reason why you were being blinded and it wasn't for 1 week it was 2 because you broke two of my rules, which again I stated very clearly!
Then you had the nerve to abuse me, so I gave you a serve right on back and then decided to blind you indefinitely no parole.
To run a coven I have to be tough and when it comes to breaking the rules you either serve you punishment and shut up about it. You chose bitch and abuse me, so you pay the penalty of that abuse. And as I said if you don't like the way I run things then find the exit!
Because of the way I run things I have one hell of a coven with great people who chose to be there and abide by my rules. I note your the only one complaining... I have 34 other people that are just fine with how things are run, so I will listen to them not you!
Stop your complaining and get over it.
I was not asking you opinion on the matter. I was venting. getting out how I feel stop trying to tell me how I should fucking fell, and get the fuck out of my fucking journal.
She isn't trying to tell you how to feel, you fucking moron.
Yeah maybe you should read what she said again idiot.
Greeting's new Pack Member. I am the LT of the Pack. I would like to welcome you. Active member's are always welcome... I sadly am the only active member's at the Moment. So any new one's are greatly appreciated.
Cross my heart. Bite my Neck. I wish I could Die right in your Bed.
Forum Thread
"Motivation"
The threads about
"What is the one thing that motivates you where you feel like you can just do anything you set your mind to?"
My Post in the tread
"Gaulder, and fox Friend of mine.
They help me think that I can do anything I want to do, and anything I put my mind on. If I want it it will happen eventually no matter what. unless the Gods deem I'm not ready yet."
Then some one asked in the thread
"Is Gaulder a guru, motivational therapist, voodoo priest? His name keeps coming up."
My answer to this question in the thread was.
"Gaulder's not a Voodoo Priest... He's an Egyptian Priest. An Anubian to be exact. And He's a lot nicer then he brings him self off to be. Till he started talking to me I was scared the sh!t of him. But now He's my Family. My Brother, My Guardian, and Protector... I love him as my Family. Some time's he can even be a bit over protective. But thats just him showing he cares. I go to him because he's shown me he's Smarter then he shows, and Nicer then he shows. Once you get him talking about something he knows... Sometimes he wont shut up. But sometimes thats a good thing."
COMMENTS
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TheArtistRose
04:43 Oct 25 2010
Aww I'm a bad person too. Don't forget it.
If you only learned to stop your drama and STOP calling others 'Bad" Then this wouldn't be happening. Next time you want to call someone bad, make sure to include the devil's spawn too. lol I mean that and the kitchen sink and this journal would be fulled with all of your drama.
Just stop and learn and it will all be over with. YOu were the one who started things and you're probably giving your sweet CM a royal head ache. :/
Rose.