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ForeverFallen's Journal


ForeverFallen's Journal

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Poetry writen by me....

23:07 Jul 22 2008
Times Read: 573


This is just some writing I do when I'm in a creative mood or down or whatever....



This is basicly just poems I have writen when I'm in a creative mood or down or whatever





X~*Untitled*~X



I have nothing left, I’ve been bleeding till I’m numb, now I’m laying on this floor where the bottles were filled with coke and run.



A cold shiver that’s all it took, knock down to the floor, also fragile left with nothing more.



Memories forgotten, photographs in ashes, red rivers running down my wrist, and now is all forgotten.



The whiskey’s gone to my head, no pain is felt, till deeper it goes in, just one single yelp, next I’m on the floor silently screaming for help….



Re- open the wounds, follow those previous scars, the end of my pain is very much over by far…



If I drop a single fire my life could be over in a flash, this all could end in ashes, monoxide, and everything could stay in the past.



So I lay in this drink slaughtered house decide which would be fast, a razor down the wrist, fire, or this could all end in gas.



Fuck it alcohol is all across the floor, now all I have to do is lock that door.



A match in my finger, could this be it? A flick of a match then that’s it my soul lives in the past….



Lets make this quick there is no turning back, I throw my match in the air, now I’m waiting just laying here, nothing is burning around this is not fair.



The alcohol didn’t ignite, nor did my possessions, now I just lay there was my scars, broken and laying here guessing….



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



X~*Silent whispers*~X



I want to look beyond the stars,

To feel an emotion stronger than love it's self.

Or better to feel nothing at all...

No fear, Nothing....

That way you can never be hurt.

Death will mean nothing to you, just another piece of speech meaning nothing.

When life does not mean living it is just the steps towards the end.



Can you see what I see?

An expression..... none what so ever seen before,

can you see it? its really before my very eyes,

A girl with no soul, a face as blank as these walls that surround my thoughts,

A shield blocking my mind and myself from this polluted world that the human race call "home"



Can you hear what I hear?

Sorrow scream of the present?

Or the hollow words of the past?



Do you hear me now?

Of course you don't, Im silently screaming what I wish to say.

But instead I have to whisper to myself what im dieing to say.

If any shall hear it could be the end of me, please oh why can't I rip out that part of me? I'm in too much danger to say what I see...

There is no one in this world that would even care, I bet you no one would even stay and save me.

I have to be silent, must not open my mouth you never know who they could be.

We will all just have to live in a world of make believe.

To them I’m just another mistake to this world, they will just say they are slipping the slate clean....



Whispers are the most deadly of all, we must use them....



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



#X_ Give in to me _X#



A Razor in one hand or maybe a blade to the throat,

I hold my breath as I start to choke



So many wounds come and gone

Still hiding so no one knows what went wrong.



A heart beat slower

Cover up the scars

Hide all I tears

And fake all the laughs



So many rights, and so many wrongs

What do I believe, I wish I can undo what I have done



My mind isolated in silent rest

My saintly hanging on by just a thread



I don’t wanna be part of this game, I’m failing and losing badly

I’m stuck in the middle losing my ability to hold on to this reality



This could all end now, I could finally be happy

Please leave me be, and let me drown in this pool of blood quietly



On my skin are marks and ticks to show the many times things went wrong

But if I lay there dead I can find that place where I truly belong



So across my life lines, and watch them weep

Losing more time, now it’s be coming very bleak.



I have been watching my life from a far

No more reason to live

You take my shining star



Ready to leave now, so give in to me your troubles

So I can take the suffering away from you, I can deal with double



So I shall drink your poison, your pain, and take away all your lies

You can live in peace, whilst I lay down a slowly

die. . .



x*X*x



x



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



-X*x~ The thoughts of a quiet mind ~x*X-



A blinded soul with one simple beat

I could start again with one simple leap.



Nothing left of me, just a drained broken heart

Leave me be and lock me in the past.



I’ll give you my heart, trusting you not to destroy it, it’s bleeding in your hands

Fix it, break it, I don’t really care, there is not much more damage you can do to it.



Take me to a place where I have no rights, so I can close my eyes and hold my soul tight

That way I can be numb, no one can hurt me no more

That way you can beak me down, and tear me apart and nothing will be felt, not even a little bit at all.



Soon scratches turn into scars, bleeding inside to make another cut

Fuck it I might as well.

Take the razor blade and place it within my wrist

Stop

Push

And twist

That is it.



Overdose, blades, jump from a great height or even hang myself in mid flight

Why don’t I do this, ok I shall, cut off my own oxygen, take my own life again.



My arteries are begging me to let it flow free and let it bleed.



So soon teardrops of blood drop pour down my ghost white skin

Maybe too much blood is gone, is there going to be any left inside me at the end?



Teardrops of blood turn into spring water flows of blood

Is there anything I should do to stop the flow, but the really question is do I really care and do I really want to go?



I hear the sirens getting closer now do you think it time for me to stop, it’s just a rope in the air, or that straight line down my wrist

Is it about time I gave in?



You can take me in a caskets and bury me under 50 feet of earth, and just leave me with my self inflicted wounds and the blood stains on my t-shirt.



Should I do this and leave every one behind, would it matter to them if I was gone for real this time?



This pain is not just something that can just be washed away, it can not be forgotten, and can not be put away.



So I will live this one last time

But next time I don’t think I will make it

Next time I will be dead

And I will not make it.



X



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



A blinded suicide



Every step of the way leads to hurt and pain



From falling down and scrapping your knees, till the slits on my wrists begging to bleed



Run to the bath tube collapse on the floor, room spinning around so I lock the door



Bathe in my blood, razor blades on the floor, with one simple scream, I could be no more



Frighten of what people may see, I sit there and sod and quietly plead



Writing messages on the mirror I can not bear to see what has finally become of me



Smash! all remains are fallen pieces of glass, rapture inside and falling apart, I believe I’m going mad



Blood spread from tile to tile and smeared across the floor, the blood stains are everywhere even behind the back of the door.



Now the water has turned red, after this all I will be found dead



No more cries for help, this could be it, nothing makes sense now, no more time for risks



Braking down inside, now this is me, all completely fucked up, I guess this is how this is meant to be



So blind fold or I will just shut my eyes, finger to the trigger….



bye bye



X


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