The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

~X#: Your sick symphony :#X~



Do I have a death wish, well maybe I do

I wish to escape somewhere and start over new

So I am sat here locked between these empty walls

Can’t I please just choke myself to death or hang me from these walls



I can hear my name be called from a far

Somewhere out beyond the stars

As I dream I know I can’t fly, I will lose my wings in mid air and plummet to the ground and die



So give me the key and I will drive at speeds of a hundred and fifty five

I have no fears so I will swerve and die

I will pray that there is glass in the road so they will burst my tiers

And into the barrier I go



There is nothing more than I wish to be dead

One single slip and that could be the end

Don’t worry you won’t have to come to my grave, I will be buried somewhere safe



All of this because of you, why can’t you just stay out of they head before I tear myself into two

You almost killed me once but you didn’t finish the job

You treated me like dirt but that wasn’t enough

You took my life away from me and never gave it back

So with this knife I will take back the life you stole



Have you finished torturing me, cause you so called loved me

If suicide is love to you then all you can do is hurt me

So take this razor and do what you want, you no longer have no control over me with your suicide love



I never understood you

You always confused me

Mixed signal and screaming

You always scared the hell out of me



All those threats and hollow lies did fool me once but won’t fall me twice

You can cut yourself into tiny pieces for all I care just remember that no body cares

Don’t worry you can come of me and you can kill me in my sleep

That way you have done me a favour and that way in well be at peace



Are you happy now I have plunged this knife into my heart

I’m bleed across the floor now is that enough?

Now I’m dying because you took what was rightfully mine

I hope you rot in hell and dead at stoke of nine



You always said you didn’t want to hurt, so why did you always being me to tears

So is me bleeding to death your sick way of equalling up all the tears?



So leave me be and let my heart have it’s final said

If it could speak it would probable say…

“If you so called love me why didn’t you hear my pled

Why didn’t you love me the way I should be

I never did anything to hurt you

I did nothing to bring you to tears

I may not be picture perfect after all these years

But now I am dead

Now

Now I am free

But now at least I know I‘m half a person you ever will be”





X



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





~ X :Darkness love: X ~



Embraces a world within my soul, in case my heart in darkness and never let it go



Kill me or kiss me

Bring me to my knee’s

Drag these daggers thoroughly into my wounds and watch me bleed



For full my wildest dreams, search through out my heart

Kill me bit by bit and see me fall apart



Join me in a place where no one will be, deep within this monstrosity

I have died for love so bury me deep

All I wish is to be buried with bow and ribbons and one single key

So I can unlock myself and set me free



I will show you horrible things

Wonderful terrible things

Just come into my dreams and you will see

A broken shell of a child that is lost and can never be seen



Are you frighten of what you may see?

I sure would be it’s been rotting in there at the age of sixteen



So unchain my soul and let me be free

Maybe everything will be fine

Or maybe there is time to run and hide



I just want reality to be fair

No cheating

And no despair



So I will give you this the dead lovers kiss it will always be felt but never missed

I will watch from the shadows, and I will run from the sun

But I will always hold you in my heart because I love you and your my only one





X



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Xxx Blame it on this xxx





This could start with a razors and end with tears, pass me alcohol and I will drink away my fears



I will dream my dreams in whisky and lay in my bed, wish nothing more than to awake up dead



Ring me up and say what you wish, I will not answer my phone will be in a ditch



Hit by car or jump off a cliff, watch me throb and let my blood drip



I can choke myself and turn blue or turn my skin red with one simple move



Take me to a bar and put me to sleep, lay me across the bar and set fire to my feet



Watch the flames move up my body and take my soul, I will stay still and burn but never let go



So give me that Johnnie walker red I will drink to my insides bleed, I will not stop till the pain brings me to my knee’s



No one will ever care, no one will ever know, how much pain this all cost me, it’s about time I go



I will tell you like I always do I don’t cut myself I just fell



I don’t cut myself there is nothing to tell



Lies like these are so easy to say, but trying to cover scar with make-up is no fun and games



So many fake smile and empty words, happiness is not a feeling I deserve



So many days have been and gone and left me feeling so dead, there is nothing I can do I will make my wrists red



It’s all in the slip of the wrist and that is it, I wonder I can do blame this one on “ Oh I tripped”



There is one thing left to do and that is no surprise, clear up all the mess and re-try



The truth is I do cut and that is no a lie, you don’t know me so don’t even try.



x



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



#;X Dangerous thoughts X;#





I don’t know what to feel

I don’t what to say

All I know is I want this pain to go away



I feel sick to the bone but yet there is nothing inside

Brake my spirit and let me rot inside



Please don’t save me I want to see the other side

So I will put pen to paper and write what I feel inside

I not sure what to say there is nothing let inside

I bleed it out long ago in my attempt to die



I will do everything please just destroy my heart

I don’t want to feel anything anymore death will be enough

I will take the evil of this world and make it pure again

It’s a small price and become the 8th sin



Anyway of death is fine by me

Murder to suicide either way sounds good to me

I don’t care what it is I will walk to the edge of the cliff and run

Or will it be fun to stare down a loaded gun



It’s a big decision that ends in drastic results

Blood stain floors and shredded hope

You can help me erase this from my head

If you don’t I will end up dead …



X



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



x+-X The girl X-+x





I will walk to my room and pretend everything is fine

Make my walk up the hallway cause I know you are blind

I know you will think nothing of it cause of the smile on my face

You wont even ask how was my day?



I will sit in silence tell my self I’m ok

Sit on my window ceil and turn the other way

I will look out the window and wonder what if I slip?

I know it’s a far way down and I can’t miss



It hasn’t always been this way, I once was happy

But now everything around me seems so pointless and empty



I am contently known as the girl with a smile on her face

People always think I’m ok

I am the floorless girl that shows nothing it wrong

I am the one who is always on alarm



Always assumed that everything is fine

That nothing is ever on my mind

But to be honest I don’t really care anymore

I just wish to be dead and nothing more



My heat isn’t black it is venom white

Just another empty space, poisoned, with no right



I wish I could fall asleep and never awake

Anything to stop this endless ache



But don’t worry I will always smile and never complain

I am the floorless girl never showing her pain….



x



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dolls



I want to make my way through this life

But there is nothing I can do

Wrap ribbons around my wrist and I will be a present to you.



Am I another mistake or am I just another thing that you will grow to hate?

I’m not sure what to say is it best that I just go away?



Am I yours perfect give or your worse nightmare

I’m not sure what to do, is this fair, is there anyone that really cares.



I have tried not to fight it and just deal with it, accept the parts of it

But my heart is far from it.



I trust you I really do, and I am not scared at all that I will hurt you.



I’m afraid of what I may do to myself and the things inside me that I contain

I am just that little suicide doll at the end of the day.



I know my heart my heart is pure and yes darkness remains

I fear I’m a danger to myself and I don’t want to put you in pain.



I wish I could make you see all the floors inside of me

I want you to see all the horrible things inside of me.



I know I have no confident and I am an state

I want you to know what you have got yourself into at this stage.



My past yes is grim and I wish to have no life

I showed my emotion through scars

A stupid job by night.



It’s not easy to stop, and I so wish to start in state like this

I want to slice my skin apart again and feel the bliss.



I can turn my bed red in one simple move

Down to my veins, and it can all end soon.



I know you know and I wish you didn’t

Then that way you will see me as brilliant.



I know you love me and you wouldn’t change me for the world

I think the same as you and more.



My thoughts won’t just disappear over night they will stay with me for the rest of my life

I will wake up every night thinking I’m clenching a knife

Wondering where it has gone tonight.



So I will hide my floor with ribbons and more and hope you will understand

I will always be a suicide doll but I will be as perfect as I can.



X



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*+* Roads *+*



Take that coffin nail you are smoking and nail me shut

Or put me of a crucifix if that is not enough.



Please just scare me to death so I don’t have to breathe no more

The end of my life is what I adore.



Can I just play Russian roulette by myself?

That way I am the win and loser and no one else.



You have taken my victory’s time after time

But now you can’t

You wont even be left with a dime.



I wish you could just cross the street and be another person I do not know

But you are always inside my heart, which is just a great gapping hole.



But now I’m just drowning in the Abyss of my mind

Choking to death

Falling through time.



I wish every time I saw you something inside me did not die

I know it gives you the satisfaction time after time.



When I see you I will not make a scene

I will hold my breathe and silently scream.



As we pass I will count the amount of steps till you are away from me

I will go from 1 to 2 to 3 and wonder why are you doing this to me?



That night I will lay in bed and wonder why do you do this to me?

I didn’t hurt you so way do you hurt me?



I will think till me head starts to hurt

Till I have ran out of tissues

Till I have made the decision

I do not want to have anymore issues.



So I have come to my conclusion

I want to go

If you ask me the question do I really want to live?

My answer will be no….



So nail that coffin shut and use that mind and stay away

You are the last thing I want to see on my final day.



Before I do this don’t ask me

“Where is your will to life?“

I will simply reply

“ I have seemed to lost it…

I consider it a gift….”



X