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Lord I am so damn tired! These 11 hr days are killing me! 2 more to go and then I get a whole 0 days of rest! YAY! lol..I am working multiple jobs to make ends meet but I think I am at my own personal whits end tonight! *sigh* oh well...
I had a panic attack today, couldn't get out of town without worrying about blacking out from hyperventilating. I tried, I really did. My plans were so beyond worth it! Why of all things to be afraid of do I have to be afraid of freaking traffic! And with the plans an hour and half away that makes things so freaking difficult! This is one of those days where I hate myself and my stupid phobias!! I had a long talk with my dearest friend and we came to an understanding about certain things, and I am going to try to respect their way of being and just move on with things without them but that kinda really sucks too. Ok, so if this is how my days off are going to be I am just going to arrange it where I work 7 days a week. Period. End of discussion. Who needs a social life if you can't even drive out of freaking town! The only bright spot is that my plans are coming to me Saturday, and understood about my fears/phobias.
Good news of the day: I had the day off. Bad news of the day: my day off sucked!
I planned to sleep in and then play on VR all day. Why do I bother to plan anything?! Got woke up at the crack of dawn by my roommate. Then I got a text from my best friend, not asking but telling me to get dressed for coffee. Made a date with a man I hang out with to ride and he had to cancel. And I am just now getting online. *SIGH* There is nothing more unfair than noone allowing you to just be a lazy bum! On top of everything else, for some damn reason, I am feeling depressed today. Maybe because of all my plans getting screwed up, but I doubt it. I think it is because it seems like everyone has been taking advantage of me lately. Certain people never listen when I speak but continue to ask for help with their lives, loves, and all sorts of bs these days. Where are you when I need someone to talk to? Oh, I know. Your talking with someone else who I managed to hook you up with, or what have ya. Whatever. Guess I will just sit here until needed again. If I decide to stay.
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