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a fox kit so lonely, a fox kit so sad

standing trial of isolation and tongues lashing at its fragile mind

the fox kit struggles bleeding from the face

the overwhelming thoughts suffocating its damaged psych

slowly falling into madness as thoughts and words whispered

it continued years and years as the fox kit matured

she was but a lonely, tortured soul who only gave

never received much kindness only received abuse

the fox kit seemed to only keep slipping

her eyes dully stared as the paths became more warped and damned

She is a ghost, a phantom, a person of idiocy

The fox kit smiling a perfect foxy grin

one that fooled everyone even her own family

she danced the jig of these humorous lies

the ancient dance of crushed, broken,stolen souls

The fox kits madness was becoming more apparent to her

the fox kit was not as idiotic as most people thought

she hid everything and kept appearances

the fox kit was a master of these ever so drawn out mind games

she played people like the strings of a guitar

she was a master of the universes game

the ever so lonely fox kit now of age

is slowly recovering from the damage

there are pillars now in life

life now giving her purpose

the lonely fox is no longer lonely

friends who are binding her soul, being side by side with her

of course this journey of pain is never done

yet,being alone is not an option anymore for the fox kit

she is living more and more

learning to live for herself

learning to give her purpose for the life handed to her

the fox kit slowly is settling from the darkness in her

learning to accept light

the fox kit continues its fight of life

becoming king of her palace

a strong scarred warrior of blazing hearts

one who keeps the peace of people

dealing out the playing cards one by one

seeing how things fair in the ever so unfair game of life



-盖丽妲

死にます

The Original sin,The Wretched Egg(The Red Man)



“The always naughty woodpecker. Today, too, you open holes and ruin the forest. The angry wood god turned your beak to poison. Poor woodpecker, your nest has been poisoned. Your food has been poisoned. If you touch your friends, they all die. The sad little woodpecker. Your tears of poison sparkle brightly…”



There is a character- such a sad, sad trapped character, who is like a fragile egg but with the ability to kill you like a predatory animal…. I love her and yet…. I also loathe her all the same. I suppose you could call it such a jumble of ridiculousness but for me I know exactly why I feel this way about her………



She is as if I am looking into a mirror in a way I hate it...yet I love it. The character I speak of is a girl named Shiro from the anime Deadman Wonderland. I think it’s rather ironic that I see myself in a fictional character more than life people but I guess the water has drifted me here for that reason so I am forced to see my faults and strengths. She hides her emotions well and her breakdowns often cause her to go off the deep end, making her kill and be delighted in other people's’ suffering. While I may not kill people, I do act very much like she does throughout the anime. The only thing that calms me down is music; the same way Shiro does with her lullaby. She trusted the people around her but they betrayed her. Once, her best friend refused to come and help her. That Same thing happened to me over many years of my life. We are also similar because she too doesn't like trusting people. The only confidant she has is just one person, her childhood friend. I do not have a childhood friend, and I prefer to keep things to myself. I could go on to create a list of things that we have in common but then this page would be too long, ne? I sometimes think that if shirou was a real person, she could be my twin-hahaha! Alas, if that was true, then perhaps I wouldn't feel like half of me is missing in my soul. I don't mean in love or anything like that, but on a more spiritual level.That is a story for only myself….



-盖丽妲

I am greatly inspired by history of Eastern Asia especially about the only female king in china. A woman in a time where it was good for woman to be in,equal rights she also did right by many of her people even though she had to do some treacherous things it was for the greater good. She was strong and had will,grit, and grace that I wish I could have. She is my idol along with the legends of the 9 tailed fox,foxes being my main animal of choice as they are quite smart and mischievous and are always blamed for something. That is my life I find myself in between both these worlds and that last why I am a FemaleDemonKing, and I shall never be less than that.

Love is such a peculiar thing isn’t it?



With it’s ever so complicated patterns and nonsensical anomalies that it makes the head spin.

With love there is great uncertainty and great risk when you give yourself to another person or trust another person as you are vulnerable. Then when the bond is broken you have to start all over and put yourself back together again...what a catastrophe.



Love is something that is thrown around carelessly, nothing but words that are used to lure people into something that can end in such a way it can scar a person for life. Quite a dangerous dive if you ask me, not to say I have not or will not fall in love I just in particular am quite cautious when it comes to things like this as I am not one to be played around with. To be quite honest I would rather be by myself at times because if you look at it in perspective, in the end you are alone in the goddamn world. You can only escape with someone for some time before the hell catches up to you and you see crap for what it is. Nothing but an illusion that we work so hard to create, putting out all of our beliefs in hoping that if we try hard enough we will never have to face things all alone again. But in a lot of cases it doesn’t work out that way . We start drowning in our own thoughts and fears thinking that we have nowhere to grasp because everything seems to be gone, like sand pouring through our fingers in its haste to reach the ground.

Yet we can at least have those moments of your precious ones to treasure you could say. Thinking of every good memory in your life.The ones had loved you for you and nothing else, be it your friends, your family, your other half. knowing that you could love and feel their love for you! Those people care caressing your soul and you knew that they had faith in you! That you could always make it through the dark times and that you had supported them through those times as well. That is the true power of love, even if you wind up alone you had those people that will always be in your spirit to guide you, helping you break free from the darkness be it your own mind or situations around you. Love will be something I will never really understand as I am a person who is just a curious soul to wander and takes in what I see through unjudging eyes. What I can say from what I have learned about love is that the suffering you endure for loving others is worth it in the end with the right people. The people who understand not to just take things from face value, they are the ones who will help you succeed in winning over the days to come in which you will be at your lowest.They are always with you, even when they themselves have gone to the afterlife leaving you behind.





~Remember they are always one step behind you

Keep that in your heart forever, because eventually you shall all meet again~

-盖丽妲