The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

1 oz licorice liqueur

1 oz Goldschlager® cinnamon schnapps

1 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur

1 oz Rumple Minze® peppermint liqueur

1/2 oz grenadine syrup



Here we have a potion that is a guaranteed cure for a poor memory...sort of. You see the combination of these ingredients plus the magic phrase will create what is called a concrete moment in time. That is a perfect moment of memory. Simply add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice cubes. Shake well (until red-ish). Serve into shot glasses as appropriate. Utter the magic phrase once: "Oh Lord what have I done?" and continue taking doses throughout the night. By morning that concrete moment in time will have embedded itself in your mind forever.



Serve in:

Shot Glass



Side Effects - Creating a concrete moment in time involves powerful magic. Unfortunately...something must be sacrificed for this kind of magic to work. The sacrifice for that concrete moment in time is well...the memory of the rest of the night. So while 10-12 hours of an evening will a foggy blur with hints of embarrassing clarity at best...you will always perfectly retain that single moment when you uttered the magic phrase "Oh Lord what have I done?" Ironically enough, that phrase will probably apply to your situation that morning...whether you wind up naked on your mother's front lawn or simply getting to know your new cell mate, that magic phrase that was uttered and now perfectly remembered will almost assuredly have some application to the moment at hand...making the Five Deadly Venoms also a premonition/hindsight potion. Lucky that eh?

A lot of research was done to find the right potion here for a friend. She wanted an almond flavored potion that didn't involve cyanide (hmmmm)...at first I was stumped but then I remembered an old 'Native American' potion...so here it is across the pond from me to her: The Grizzly Bear.



Grizzly Bear



1 part amaretto almond liqueur

1 part Jagermeister® herbal liqueur

1 part Kahlua® coffee liqueur

2 1/2 parts milk



The ancient Native American tribe of the Acolapissa we're located in the Lower Mississippi. The mild climate of the lower Mississippi required little clothing. Acolapissa men limited themselves pretty much to a breechcloth, women a short skirt, and children ran nude until puberty. Nice tribe eh? Anyway, With so little clothing with which to adorn themselves, the Acolapissa were fond of decorating their entire bodies with tattoos. Occasionaly, an native american would find the choice of what to get tattooed rather difficult. This warranted a vision quest. The Grizzly Bear potion is an aid to that vision quest. It's unknown how the Acolapissa came into possession of Jagermeister but I'm not here to argue history.



Pour ingredients into an Old Fashioned Glass with ice (we've said it was hot in the Lower Mississippi). The potion was imbibed in various dosage levels from 3 - 10 glasses and usually the vision quest was given an official start with the phrase: "Chikasawtribe-Kankis-Myass." We're not sure what that translates to in English but everyone in the Acolapissa tribe always got a kick out of saying it and everyone would have a good laugh.

 

Serve in:

Old-Fashioned Glass (Serve over ice. Sounds nasty, but tastes great.)



Side Effects: Pretty mild really. Firstly, too many doses of this potion and the vision quest can get a little side tracked and wind up as a pass-out quest. It's also been noted that if this potion is mixed with others, one can end up with some pretty damn silly tattoo ideas (Yosemite Sam saying "Back Off!" is a clear example of a Grizzly Bear vision quest gone bad). Finally, there have been times when the Grizzly Bear potion passes on some of the spirit of the warm Acolapissa natives and those taking the potion can wind up finding themselves barely clothed or totally nude in rather inappropriate locations...but hey sometimes that's good magic too.

1 oz tequila

1 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur

1 oz Rumple Minze® peppermint liqueur

1 oz 151 proof rum

2 can Sparks® energy drink



This sucker is a clear invitation to the end of the world. A potion with the strictest intent of starting trouble, breaking up relationships, summoning police, and remaining horribly awake as your signifigant other files a restraining order on you. Self Destruction magic in a glass. Should your relationship survive this potion? Then nothing (I mean nothing) will ever tear it apart (even if you want to). You've been warned.



Here goes...Pour one can each of Sparks energy drink into two beer mugs. Pour tequila, Jagermeister, and Rumple Minze into separate shot glasses. Add 151 to the top of each and ignite. Drop the flaming shots one by one into the Sparks filled beer glasses with the following incantation.

 

Shot one (Rumple Minze) - "I like it when you...(add personal statement here)"

Shot two (Jaegermeister) - "I like...(insert name of famous actress or actor)"

Shot three (tequila) - "I hate it when you...(add personal annoyance here)"



Then you chug the contents of the beer mug. Take your time between doses but not too long.



This incantation is repeated with each full dose of this potion...the answers mystically becoming more and more true as each party gains a deeper understanding of the other. Spiritually, this potion is big bad juju and I'd hesitate to try this unless you're really looking for the ultimate in self-destruction.



Serve in: Beer Mug



Side Effects: WTF?! The name is Flaming Armageddon! I don't even want to be in the room when this potion starts to take effect. Whether or not you are one of the two partaking of this potion or not...I recommend a seperate area code. I can say that if you hurry this potion...you will be throwing up...a lot...and that could actually save you from the full effects...or make them horribly, horribly worse.