*curls up on the bed...weak..tired..worried...scared...fed up...dizzy...hurt..overwhelmed...feeling so very very alone and abandoned...closes my eyes as tears that dont matter fall down my cheeks...praying...praying silently...my soul sunk in the black tare that is now humanity...shock..fear trying to work its way to take over my very being...shaking now...i try to fight and protect even though i dont want to...my heart begins to plea a bloody cry for something...of anything that is good...love...kind...alive?...my tears fall heavier on my pillow...my sobs of prayers i send out with only one opened voice whisper*...please please before i die?
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