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Feelings;

Something I thought I lost long before.

When inside me was an enraged war.

Perhaps from searching for answers.

Wanting perhaps wishing to forget the questions.

Wanting to be loved by someone who cares

When problems got me down.

I'll turn and they'll always be there.

For you and I both knew it was a fantasy;

But one I shall live by and believe.

For there must be good times in ones life

Without having to put up with much strife.



Feelings;

I ask myself once more.

Something that makes a persons actions difficult to read.

Like me a bad life I would lead.

I have yet to find my reason to go on

Except for the people I love on the earth.

I belong

It had me feeling bad,

Living each day of my life sad

I must change before I go

This is one thing I know.

Almost killed my life flashed before me

And as we know...

It was empty.



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

The things that happen in our lives

Are like mountains and storms.

The storms of life are those things

That come and take part in our lives for a while.



Things may temporarily become chaotic

And out of control but,

Then someone or something good

Comes into our lives and, like a gust of wind blowing through leaves; the storm is blown away.



Things settle once again.

Until, the next storm comes

Like a thief in the night and robs us of our conscious and feelings.



The mountains range from high to low.

They possess complete control over our lives.

They hinder us from living to our full potential.



They can prevent us from thinking and feeling or,

Fill us until there are so many that we can't handle them

So, we prevent ourselves from coming face to face with them.



Day by day and,

Step by step

We must learn to look inside of ourselves

To get the courage to face the storms and,

Conquer the mountains that will otherwise hold us back.



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

Climb that mountain before you.

Face the pain,

Let yourself feel.

You're worth more than this.

Climb that mountian!



You've spent so much time

Running the other way,

That you're not even sure where you started.

Climb that mountian!



Turn around

It's not too late.

The time has come

To change your fate.

Climb that mountain!



Start with today;

Forget all the could've been and should've been.

Restore your energy

So you can;

Climb that mountain!



Face each day with a new outlook.

Smile at the end of the day and,

Pat yourself on the back.

You did a Great Job!

Continue to Climb that mountain!



Pretty soon that mountain

Will not be a mountain anymore.

Instead of frowns and tears;

You will have hope and courage

To claim what the victory that has always been yous.

Congratulations!

You Climbed That Mountain!



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

You know loneliness is the worst feeling to experience.

It is almost worse than the,"nothingness."

I know it is not,"just a part of life" because,

None deserves to feel this way.

But, stiil you can't change it.

The hurt just doesn't decide to stop.

And, the pain never goes away.

It's almost like it becomes a part of you.

And begins to seem normal.

It hurts to see people so wrapped in themselves,

Things of the world, other people and time.

That they don't seem to see or hear you.

No matter how hard you try they just keep on ignoring you.

To feel lonely is one thing but,

To be lonely and live lonely is something totally different.



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

Sitting and thinking about why things happen.

Numb to my own feelings and thoughts,

I feel empty,Nothing.

"What's wrong?", you ask

NOTHING!

That's the problem.

The endless sea of nothingness that surrounds me.

Sure I can feel and think

But, it's only inside that's the point at which it stops.



It becomes nothing at all.

The hum of the machines.

The twirl of the fan

And an occasional yell from the person up above you.

The world has stopped!

Everything is suspended from mid-air.

The anger and frustration cut a river in your soul.

They are electromagnetic and are drawn fom your soul

Out to the tips of your fingers and toes.

It won't stop!

You have no control over it.

So, it keeps flowing a continous pattern to the places that hurt.

It holds you back.

Yet at the same time is the force that propels you forward.

So with a steady hand and eye;

And, a shaky heart and mind

You muster the courage to turn around and Begin the journey again.

The journey that leads to peace and hope.

Then you are faced with the fact that you are SOMETHING after all.



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

Battle wounds and scars heal easily.

But love departed is never frogotten.

Friends will come and friends will go.

But a lover a mate not easily so.

Love is held within the heart

Cherished and dear right from the start.

The pain and tears Will not change anything.

Their only accomplishment;

Is the river they carve in the soul.

Love will return one day my friend.

And find you whereever you'll be.

And mend the river that was carved in your soul.

So, don't be down and heavy hearted my friend.

For love has a way of working things out.

And I know in my heart

You will find love again or maybe it will just find it's way to you my friend.



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

Torture, torment, punishment, pain.

Things I now feel on a regular basis.

Will I ever be free?

Rage and anger lurk in every corner and crack.

Waiting for the moment to show themselves

And take control of my master.

Oh No, I hear footsteps!

Are they his?

What will he do this time?

My insides are shaking and twitching.

I feel sick, I am sick.

Sick........ He's the one who's sick.

Forget that he's psycho.

Better watch my back.

He's lurking out there.

Make sure I obey.

For you see, I'm just a puppet.

What you see isn't me.

What I feel isn't real.

What I believe.

Well that's been warped and distorted.

Will I ever be free?



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

It's so cold without you.

My body feels numb.

Winter has settled on me

And the cold, has chilled me to the bone.



It's not so long ago

When I remember the sunny skies.

When your love warmed my heart,

And you brightened my day.



I hope that Spring will come again,

And the butterflies

Will bring a rainbow back that bridges the gap between us.



But if it's not what you want

Then I guess I'll get used to the fall.

Because then it won't be too hot or too cold.

I'll just have to deal with the leaves that I'll shed.



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

Gentle breeze what is it,

As you blow your way to me?

Is the message that you carry

The story of my lover

Who is far away from home?



What is it that you are trying to tell me

As you blow the trees outside my window.

Is it a secret only spoken to you and the moon above?



Gentle breeze what is it,

That has you so shook up?

What could be so important

To cause you to wake me

From this deep and dreamy sleep?



The whisper in my ear,

The rustle of the leaves,

The irridescent glow

From the moonlight up above;

Just one more thing to stimulate me

And bring my mind to wonder;

Oh, gentle breeze what is it?





Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

Feelings and thoughts

Running free in my mind.

Why do I feel this way?

All I ever want is to be free.

Free from the pain, anger, hurt....

It's all too real.

Right here in front of me

But, I can't grab hold of it for fear of losing it.

Why me?

All I want is to be loved.



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~

I stood in the darkened room for what seemed a long time. Gradually I became aware of its personality and feel. It reach out its enormous arms and grasped my very soul from me. Suddenly, it stopped as if for a moment unsure what to do next. Then, with the most fierce force imaginable it threw my soul to the ground so as to watch it richoet off the ceiling. For an instant it were as if it turned warm in the cold of that room. But, suddenly I was shaken back to reality by the ferocious and thunderous laughter from that wretched thing. I soon found myself pleading for forgiveness for whatever I had done to it. Then, as gentle as a child it turned and picked up my shaken soul handed it back to me, and before it left it gave me areassuring hug as if to say it would never happen again. And I still believe that as it turned away I saw one, single crystal clear tear fall to the ground.



Written by: Jennifer Widener

~FP~