did anyone else ever watch the wild thornberries? remember the little jungle kid they pick up who just runs around yelling gibberish, that is what my brain is doing right now after the day it has been. lol. I stare at a pc scrn 8 hrs of the day doing all types of numerical work, and it has just been non stop today, like normally i have a lull at some point, i didnt have one till 1:30p and i get off @3:30p. *drops head* i want an irish blend monster now, along w/DJ Ashba *bites lip* (psycho semantic act insane) :D idk wtf is up w/me right now, all i know is i have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much energy and no way to expend it currently. *growls*
the more and more i stare at the pc scrn, the more and more i realize exactly how boring my life got. well not boring exactly, but more mundane i guess i could say. after kids, everything just kinda fell wayside. lol now my nights involve waiting for a lil one to come thumping into the room from nightmares, or waking up at 9a on a saturday morning to an exorcist style lil girl w/wide eyes. (know the scene where she turns her head slowly? try it w/a blonde hair, blue eyed 6yo girl, BRIGHT eyed bushy tailed.) not that its bad, but man there are times when being a parent takes it toll. especially if they are twins or close enough, like mine. i am shocked w/my previous lifestyle that i even made it to 23 let alone w/kids. i did way too much way too young. :| but whatever, i am here, and i guess that matters somewhere, at least to my family it does. although here lately that family has grown smaller than i would like, since one of my friends decided to just pretty much disappear after she had her son, and that was that. thankfully i got other friends who are still tlking to me. *shrugs* idk, i guess i am just really melancholy b/c this xmas marked yet ANOTHER xmas that we celebrated w/one less family member AGAIN. in the past 7y, i have had 6 immediate family members pass. one suicide, one murder, the rest the gods called home. grandfather, father, uncle, mother's mother, brother, grandmother. and my bro commited suicide two months after my bday, thanx doll. love you too. asshole. i am considering it a good year when i still have all my family members around me and havent had to take my kids to the er for something. my daughter has had two sets of stitches (totaling ten) and another er visit b/c she walked into a lit cigarette within 8months, the last one occuring a wk after she turned 3, she will ultimately be the death of me. especially if she ends up anything like me. *evil grin* *shrugs* my fault really maybe i shouldn't have been such a lil bitch growing up. oh well, it will be fun in the meantime.
COMMENTS
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Bellanova333
23:02 Jan 07 2011
I know the feeling ;)