21:23 Nov 03 2010
Times Read: 463
To feel again like an actual human, would be easy. But feeling as a demoness/panther is hard. To know that you are seperated from your mate, your heart always in agony over being half. The old saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" is bullshit. They never lost their mate, they never lost the one who allows you to sleep w/no dreams, the one who it was ok if you were yourself, b/c they were the same, they understood the call of the moon, the thrill of the hunt, the fun in the chase, the anger/lust of the mating. to know completion & absolution was amazing, but I am torn. Do I be thankful I had it briefly or angry b/c now I will crave it constantly?
Love is a wonderful curse, matehood especially. Screaming in impotent rage at the agony of knowing all and nothing, attacking the ignorant bliss my human tries to maintain, wings unfurling to take flight to the depths of hell, claws extending to rip apart the heavens that deny and taunt me. My human side cowers before the demoness/panther, not understanding, her poor mind failing to grasp the truth: you can love two people the same way at the same time. and you could be w/both. Laughing at the pretty sparkles that drift from the moon, watching them dance on the breeze as I sniff the cool air, whispering to myself. The smell of a tomb catches my interest, and pulls me towards it, the door semi-open beckoning me further. Good thing cats have nine lives, *evil smile*
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